pregnant, riding and people (aka Family)...

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Tory27

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Just wondering if any of you mother horsey folk out there went through the 'you must stop riding' time from your parents. Dad especially? I'm coming up to 5 months (20wk scan on 12th Sep) and still ride every day and have been competing. We were out team chasing last week and I plan to go SJ again this weekend. I'm still fit, able and to everyone’s surprise more so my own i don’t even have a bump!! Nothing at all!! Been to midwife appointments, all’s well in there bumpus heart beating away, seems happy and midwife has no issues what-so-ever. I know I may be coming across as a bit selfish, but i feel fine when riding, apart from rising trot making me feel like i need to pee constantly so have the occasional stop en-route to dribble out an egg-cup.. But just recently my dad is telling me I need to stop (hes also getting on at hubby too). I admit it’s both my parents and in-laws first grandchild so yes very special and exciting times ahead, but its every day now and I’m getting bit annoyed. Being told to stop something you’ve done every day for your whole life is not easy, yes I plan to stop competing by the end of September, but I know my limits and my horses. I have reduced the level I’m competing at so don’t really see the problem ? Riding is risk we all know that but so is getting in a car and driving on the motorway every day. (which I do) I have told dad I will continue to compete until end of September ish (that’s f there’s anything on worth going to) then ride until im unable, or until its becomes painful, just going for walks around the countryside but hes still not happy. Im not going to fall out with my family about it of course not but surely there’s some level ground to be made. Or am I just being unreasonable and selfish.
Did anyone else having a baby suffer this too, how did you get by?
 
I think you might have opened a can of worms here! As a non parent I am not qualified to really comment but I must admit my heart missed a beat when you mentioned team chasing !! Your parents are worried about you, they are worried about their soon to be grandchild. I'd be the first to say do what you want, it's your life but now it's also the life of your child. One slip , one mistake and it's all over. It is of course up to you but can you just not tone it down until the baby is here. Then get straight back to competing , Hot to Trot is a fine example of a mum who fits in competing around breast feeding!! This is of course just my opinion, it's your choice.
 
I stopped riding as soon as I was pregnant. A father has a right to know his partners not unnecessarily risking the loss of his unborn baby/ miscarriage. Prior to three months you don't know how the placenta is attached and friction In saddle could cause problems. One fall onto a developing bump could cause early labour. Even if your an amazing rider and your horse is bomb proof you can't account for stupid drivers, dogs, plastic bags etc etc. I had placenta previa but didn't know it until later scans. If I'd ridden too long there is a high chance I would have miscarried.
 
I feel strongly about it. Why can't people just postpone riding for a few months or get someone else to ride rather rham risk their baby's life? Even if it's the lowest risk possible it still not worth it x
 
All the women in the world who have lost their children during pregnancy despite being very careful and then other people just take such risks X
 
I don't have children, and I don't want any, but I think I would certainly give up jumping and fast stuff and stick to gentle hacking if I desperately wanted to keep riding. Obviously anything can happen even on a light hack, but it's much less risk than flying over fences and doing fast work.

Friend of mine was 6 weeks pregnant and her small horse knocked her over when she was lunging. Minimal impact, complete accident, and friend miscarried the next day.
 
I've known people ride until 7-8 months gone. I've known others stop riding the second they found out.

Having never been pregnant I can't say what I would do, however, it is your choice and your body.

If I got pregnant I would probably stop riding as my mare is very sharp and spooky. However, the cob I used to ride I'd probably ride til it got uncomfortable as he was a very sane/steady/reliable sort.

I agree to an extent that perhaps the fast work / jumping is maybe a bit of a risk, but thats just me.

I don't believe that you should be pressured either way - its an incredibly personal choice.
 
I rode til about 8 months pregnant .People dont say stop driving cars do they? you could have a RTA and loose the baby. They dont say dont fly, the plane could crash and all be killed,.Cant see how riding is any more risky. That said, I didnt jump, hunt or back young horses during this time.
 
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I rode most of the way through my first pregnancy but only on my trustworthy Welsh C that I had since I was a kid myself, I gave up riding anything else and gave up working at local riding school because everyone started trying to wrap me in cotton wool and be a bit patronising. I didn't ride atall through my 2nd pregnancy as baby's dad would have flipped! I did sneak out riding a couple of times in early months but felt that guilty it took all the enjoyment out of it and I didn't bother again. I actually did a thread myself at the time about it and the majority seemed to say they continued to ride through pregnancy. Remember Zara Phillips controversially competed while she was pregnant too and got some very mixed reviews about it all, at the end of the day it's your decision.
 
I stopped riding because I was the size of an elephant! But I know women that have continued hunting right up until due date.

Your body, your baby, but I do understand your parents viewpoint as well - difficult one.
 
I don't think it has anything to do with your parents or in-laws at all, but what does your husband think?

I think i'd stop all fast work & jumping, but continue riding and hope that i didn't fall with a horse tripping etc.
 
It's completely a personal choice of course and in my opinion nothing to do with your Dad. However it does have to do with the father of the baby- what does he think? Personally, having had two children myself, I would not get on a horse when pregnant at any stage. I know that I would never forgive myself if I lost a baby in avoidable circumstances. But when pregnant with a first child I think that one has less appreciation of what can go wrong- I was certainly incredibly blasé when pregnant with my first! They are so precious that to me it just doesn't seem worth it just for a few months.
 
I was hoping to ride up until the end but i stopped after my father in law said that he was not happy me riding i thought about it and decided even though i was happy with my mare there was still the what if question if she slipped or fell over with me the thought of telling him that i had lost this grandchild was too hard even my husband was happy for me to keep riding
I know that other things can and do happen not just riding
 
Think the thing is, unlike getting in a car, a horse no matter how well you know it has a mind of its own. A car won't spook, and also a car has air bags and the chassis is reinforced steel. A fall from a horse offers no protection other than your hat and that doesn't protect your tummy!!!
 
I gave up when I was 3mths gone. I couldn't justify the risk any longer as it's another human being's life you are messing with. It's not just your choice, it's also that of your partners so I guess it depends on what he says too. I think for the sake of waiting a few months it probably is selfish yes.
 
Life is all about risks but some are avoidable, some aren't. At the end of the day it is of course your choice but is the risk really worth it and how would you feel if you had an avoidable accident and lost the baby?
 
Most of us need to get into a car to carry on with our lives. We do not need to ride as demonstrated by all the pregnant women who stopped. Your decision yes, but a new family member for all your family too, so they have a right to voice their worries. They may even be worried about you! Having a miscarriage after a trauma is physically and psychologically devastating.
 
I really put riding when pregnant in the same category as smoking when pregnant. Neither are necassery and can harm the baby x
 
Lissie2 said:
I really put riding when pregnant in the same category as smoking when pregnant. Neither are necassery and can harm the baby x
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Except smoking has been shown to increase the risk of low birth weight and certain disabilities such as cerebal palsy - riding while pregnant has no ill effects, unless you fall off! I really don't think they're comparable at all.
 
I don't think your in laws or parents have a say as such but the babies dad does so if your both truly happy to accept the risks then carry on until you feel you need to stop.
I must say I think team chasing is maybe increasing the risks massively.
Maybe think of it this way- if you fell off and sadly miscarried would you/husband be happy to live with the fact you chose to carry on riding and therefore risk falling and baby coming to harm?
If you both truly say yes then carry on but if either of you has doubts then maybe rethink it- it could risk your relationship Aswell if your happy but hubby isn't as he would likely struggle to forgive you.
Ps good luck with the pregnancy and birth!!
 
I rode until I was 35weeks. Gave birth early at 38weeks. I have to say I did stick to schooling and hacking but nothing too rigorous . I stopped all jumping . I personally wouldn't be team chasing , too much risk ! My husband was alright with me riding , I have a fairly sensible gelding who does look after me and we didn't put ourselves into any positions that were obviously dangerous . The last straw for my husband though was my horse got a bit over excited at not having a canter for a while and did do a little leap in a field so that was time to stop. I got back on 1 week after giving birth.
 
asterope said:
Except smoking has been shown to increase the risk of low birth weight and certain disabilities such as cerebal palsy - riding while pregnant has no ill effects, unless you fall off! I really don't think they're comparable at all.
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Actually its been linked to Placental abruption or something like that. The one where the placenta comes away from the uterine wall.
 
I rode until nearly full term, the odd dressage test, hacking and gentle schooling. I stopped jumping when I found out I was pregnant. I had a saint of a horse and considered it a reasonable risk. I probably wouldn't ride through a second pregnancy though. Having a baby has made me more risk adverse and scared of the potential risks in a way not imaginable (to me) before my baby arrived. I don't outright regret my decision, it kept me fit, healthy and importantly, sane. I do, with hindsight feel I was a bit foolhardy though and feel very lucky. You can't, of course, base all your decisions on worst case scenarios or you'd never leave your bed for 9 months. It's up to you to decide what level of risk is appropriate, guided by the wishes of your partner who also gets some level of say. Hard to say how much input your parents get, it's not their decision but as you say they understandably feel they have something at stake too. I guess I was happy that it was a jointly made decision with my partner, for me to continue riding, and we would have dealt with any consequences together (I hope). It's a big burden to carry alone if something goes wrong and you feel fully culpable. There's good reason that horse riding is regarded as a high risk sport. And within that there are varying degrees of risk. I have to say, team chasing must be up there with the riskiest, any insurance company would agree with that... Congratulations by the way and apologies if my 2p worth doesn't help with a decision either way. As I'm learning with most parenting decisions everyone has an opinion! It alway seems to me to be a case of just trying to make as informed a decision as you can, being guided by those you trust and who want to support you, but also listening to your gut feeling and carving out your own way too.
 
Lissie2 said:
I really put riding when pregnant in the same category as smoking when pregnant. Neither are necassery and can harm the baby x
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I totally agree, its not doing any harm my horses sat in the field for 9 months but even on my steady horse, i stopped riding the second i found out i was pregnant.
 
It's your body and your baby and ultimately your choice (and the father's). I am pregnant and have not ridden since finding out, however that is partly due to not currently having a horse! I like to think that I would have carried on with light hacking and schooling in the early months (my horse was very sensible) but I know my parents would have been having kittens and I probably wouldn't have ridden at all. To be honest I think Team Chasing when pregnant is rather reckless. I have suffered several miscarriages in the past (nothing to do with horse riding!) and this baby is very precious to me and I just don't think it's worth taking the risk.
 
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Personally I stopped at 6 weeks, when the tiny embryo was still well protected. If you read up on anything pregnancy related, riding falls under the activities to stop doing. I also stopped scuba diving which is another high risk sport. It is of course entirely your own choice but I can tell you quite categorically that after one miscarriage (not riding related) and having my 8 week old baby here sitting on my knee, the idea of doing ANYTHING which would potentially harm him fills me with horror. You don't relate to them when they're invisible inside you in the same way imo. You may well feel very different when the baby is born. It's a few months out of a lifetime. I would also say that were anything to happen, the delivery of a 5 month old dead foetus would be pretty traumatic...not like an early miscarriage. Sorry if that sounds harsh but honestly, they are so precious once they arrive.

May be worth adding that my OH is an obs/gynae consultant and he strongly advised me against it even though I'd already decided not to ride.
 
...take the baby's needs into account as it doesn't have a voice. What's right for it? Not what's right for mum...the baby has no choice but to share your body so you owe it the best protection while its inside. Forget mum and dads needs for 9 months X
 
Its totally personal choice. People should not be putting pressure on you one way or the other and if Dad is being more vocal than Mum I suggest a quiet word with Mum to say that you have made your decision they might not like it but they need to respect it. They have made their views known, you understand them and respect them but you do not plan to change your viewpoint to theirs. All that is happening by them going on about it all the time is that you feel less inclined to spend time with them and you are sure that neither you nor them want that to be the outcome.

There appear to be a few crusaders on here who feel it is their duty to remonstrate with anyone who doesn't share their view but at the end of the day you have made a decision and you are the one who has to live with any potential risks in that decision.

Arguably riding whilst pregnant (if you are a competent rider) is far less risky to your child than allowing your child to learn to ride. Fancy putting your child on a living breathing creature that they are highly likely to part company with and hit the floor at some point in time !!
 
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Default Re: pregnant, riding and people (aka Family)...

I don't think it has anything to do with your parents or in-laws at all, but what does your husband think?

Hubby is/has been fine. He says he knows me well enough that I will know whens best to stop. I had actually planned for this weekend to be last for the competition but reading some of your comments i do feel rather guilty now - especially about the team chase, it was a last minute decision and not something I will doing again this year all whilst carrying bumpus! Perhaps its time i stopped being selfish and just stick to being happy hacker a couple of times a week from now onwards.
 
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