Problem with sharers.

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Toady

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Hi guys,

I'm having a problem with my sharers and I'm not sure what to say/do.

Me and my Mum have sharers, a mother and a daughter who know my Mum, who look after my two ponies. We agreed that they would see them three days a week and I would see them for four days a week including the weekends.

Now for the past 3 weeks, they [sharers] haven't been doing their duties (so to speak) that we agreed on. They used to live up the road from me and have moved to a house which is roughly five minutes away. Now I understand that it is stressful to move however, it is not that hard to just say to either me or my Mum that they need a few days just to get themselves sorted.

In these 3 weeks, they aren't doing the basic jobs which every horse owner does. They aren't even bothered to check up on them and they live a 10 minute drive away from the yard. They were really enthusiastic about sharing them last year and they were great help during the winter but now it seems to have all gone down hill. The mother is not answering her phone or returning my Mum's call and only seems to contact us when they need advice on something.

I have also recently found out that the mother has been carting/bombing the cob about on hacks. I had been wondering lately why her behaviour was strange out when I took her for hacks and had even been contemplating getting her checked out.

I feel like my trust has been abused. Yes they are my Mum's friend but they are looking after my ponies three days a week. Those ponies are my pride and joy and now I want to ask them to stop sharing but I'm not sure how. I just don't know how to do it, nor does my Mum. I'm fed up of the excuses the mother keeps coming up with and I really need that little bit of help with exams looming.

What is also scary is that the mother wants to buy a yearling for her daughter and if she isn't prepared to look after two ponies for three days then god help her with her own horse.

What do I say? What do I do? :(

confused.com
 
You need to tell them straight! Arrange a meeting with all parties involved and explain to them how you feel, what you think and how to resolve. Then listen to them. At the end of the day, they are your horses, and you are under no obligation to continue the share if you think your horses are suffering!
 
Do you have a written agreement that states what the duties are?

I'm sure they don't want to answer the phone as they know that they're not acting appropriately but it's not on.

Why don't you ask them if they would like 2 weeks break to sort things out as they may be too nervous to ask?
 
Ditto this, when I finally sought the courage to confront my old sharer it turned out she was having difficulty because of new pressure at work. If I hadn't have asked it would have gone the same way for a long time after!
 
You are 100% right Lippyx.

I need a few days to calm myself down before I consider going to meet them face to face!

Appreciate your reply :)
 
You know that they aren't doing the duties and checks that they agreed to as part of the share.
They aren't returning phone calls.
The mother isn't treating your cob right.
The time for discussion is gone. If you can't arrange to meet up with them in the next day or so, or if the mum continues to ignore phone calls, just drop a letter through their door terminating your agreement. Change padlocks etc at your yard.
 
Possibly say you've noticed them taking less time over the horses and ask them if it is too much work and they don't have time/don't want to do it anymore. If you frame it as you trying to help them, they are probably more likely to respond honestly so you can get to the bottom of why they have changed what they are doing.

Hopefully you can sort it out, if not you may just have to give them an ultimatum-this is your ponies, they've got to take it seriously.

Hope it works out, I really feel for you
 
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