Tash88
Well-Known Member
I'm going to try to keep this brief so bear with me...
Some of you will remember my post a couple of months ago about the lady who was interested in sharing my horse - I had never had a sharer before and I was worried about her being much better than me and my feelings as a result. To cut a long story short the viewing went well and she agreed to share him - she is quite bossy and could come across as rude if you didn't know her better, I can be sensitive but have just got used to it. She rides my horse quite well, although in a different style to me, shorter stirrups and with a fairly strong contact that looks quite defensive; she is beginning to relax a bit though.
She loves schooling and bringing on young horses, and seems to think she is really good at it, so she was interested in schooling him more than hacking him. We arranged for her to have him two days a week and I said that she could school both days but I'd prefer it if she hacked one day and schooled the other because I wanted to school him as well and I didn't want him to be in the school all week. She seemed to appreciate that, but has only hacked him once since she's been riding him independently (started on the 1st May), despite me showing her the routes (borrowing a horse and taking her out) and other liveries offering to hack out with her.
I will say that she has helped me with my horse, his schooling has improved (she is a tougher rider than me) and he has got fitter, but this has come with a price. He is rather sharp and has a nasty 180 degree spin in him; he usually does this when frightened and it is very difficult to sit to. He hasn't done this with me since November last year, but she has come off him five times now, all in the school. Four of those were spins and the first one was just him getting angry with her constantly asking all the time, so bucking hugely and tanking off down the school. Since that first fall I have reiterated that she has to tell him when he's been good as he is very trainable but also very sensitive, and he needs to be reassured and praised rather than nagged all the time. She took that on board and was doing well with him until last week, when she came off twice.
She called me and was clearly cross with him - he had chucked her off in the indoor school so she took him into the outdoor school, where he did it again. Apparently then she was in tears out of frustration - she got back on but only had ten minutes of riding time left because she had to get back to her 18 month old daughter. She said that if she had time she would have walked him round for an hour and made him listen to her, but obviously she couldn't. She is incredibly stubborn and my horse doesn't seem to be reacting well to this - he is being difficult for her to catch in the field and is really pushing the boundaries with her. Since that incident on Wednesday I have hacked him out twice and he has been fine. I am meant to be watching her school him tomorrow evening with an instructor at the yard to see if there is anything she should be doing differently. She seems reluctant to have lessons.
She is a nice woman and we have developed a bit of a friendship, but I don't think this arrangement is working out. She seems to actively dislike my horse now, but she doesn't want to give up or give in; when things go well she adores him. She has a toddler and wants to expand her family, I'd always had this in the back of my mind and the other evening she told me that she wouldn't ride my horse if she was pregnant, she is trying now and conceives quickly apparently so I doubt she'll be around for much longer anyway. There is a safer horse at the yard who needs a sharer so he might be a better bet for her, but then she probably won't get the ego-boost that she seems to desire from bringing him on.
I don't know whether to see how tomorrow and the next few weeks pan out or just let her go now. I emailed her yesterday evening and usually she gets back to me straight away - have heard nothing. I do want her to keep sharing my horse, but I am wondering if there is any point. My friends at the yard think that I should get rid of her as I've apparently done a good job with him and they are worried that she is ruining him for me - I can't see evidence of that yet but it could happen.
I'm sorry that this is really badly written, but I think some impartial and straight-talking HHO advice would be very useful
, thanks in advance.
Tash x
Some of you will remember my post a couple of months ago about the lady who was interested in sharing my horse - I had never had a sharer before and I was worried about her being much better than me and my feelings as a result. To cut a long story short the viewing went well and she agreed to share him - she is quite bossy and could come across as rude if you didn't know her better, I can be sensitive but have just got used to it. She rides my horse quite well, although in a different style to me, shorter stirrups and with a fairly strong contact that looks quite defensive; she is beginning to relax a bit though.
She loves schooling and bringing on young horses, and seems to think she is really good at it, so she was interested in schooling him more than hacking him. We arranged for her to have him two days a week and I said that she could school both days but I'd prefer it if she hacked one day and schooled the other because I wanted to school him as well and I didn't want him to be in the school all week. She seemed to appreciate that, but has only hacked him once since she's been riding him independently (started on the 1st May), despite me showing her the routes (borrowing a horse and taking her out) and other liveries offering to hack out with her.
I will say that she has helped me with my horse, his schooling has improved (she is a tougher rider than me) and he has got fitter, but this has come with a price. He is rather sharp and has a nasty 180 degree spin in him; he usually does this when frightened and it is very difficult to sit to. He hasn't done this with me since November last year, but she has come off him five times now, all in the school. Four of those were spins and the first one was just him getting angry with her constantly asking all the time, so bucking hugely and tanking off down the school. Since that first fall I have reiterated that she has to tell him when he's been good as he is very trainable but also very sensitive, and he needs to be reassured and praised rather than nagged all the time. She took that on board and was doing well with him until last week, when she came off twice.
She called me and was clearly cross with him - he had chucked her off in the indoor school so she took him into the outdoor school, where he did it again. Apparently then she was in tears out of frustration - she got back on but only had ten minutes of riding time left because she had to get back to her 18 month old daughter. She said that if she had time she would have walked him round for an hour and made him listen to her, but obviously she couldn't. She is incredibly stubborn and my horse doesn't seem to be reacting well to this - he is being difficult for her to catch in the field and is really pushing the boundaries with her. Since that incident on Wednesday I have hacked him out twice and he has been fine. I am meant to be watching her school him tomorrow evening with an instructor at the yard to see if there is anything she should be doing differently. She seems reluctant to have lessons.
She is a nice woman and we have developed a bit of a friendship, but I don't think this arrangement is working out. She seems to actively dislike my horse now, but she doesn't want to give up or give in; when things go well she adores him. She has a toddler and wants to expand her family, I'd always had this in the back of my mind and the other evening she told me that she wouldn't ride my horse if she was pregnant, she is trying now and conceives quickly apparently so I doubt she'll be around for much longer anyway. There is a safer horse at the yard who needs a sharer so he might be a better bet for her, but then she probably won't get the ego-boost that she seems to desire from bringing him on.
I don't know whether to see how tomorrow and the next few weeks pan out or just let her go now. I emailed her yesterday evening and usually she gets back to me straight away - have heard nothing. I do want her to keep sharing my horse, but I am wondering if there is any point. My friends at the yard think that I should get rid of her as I've apparently done a good job with him and they are worried that she is ruining him for me - I can't see evidence of that yet but it could happen.
I'm sorry that this is really badly written, but I think some impartial and straight-talking HHO advice would be very useful
, thanks in advance.Tash x
