Professional Help

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be positive

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Why is it that so often when someone comes on asking for advice they get upset when it is suggested that professional help is the best way forward?

The professionals are there to help, they are trained, experienced, qualified to do so, why, other than the financial implications, are people so reluctant to use the help that is available?

Sometimes just another pairs of eyes can resolve issues before they become a real problem, I think it is rather sad that so many people feel it is somehow giving up to get proper help and advice.
 
Perhaps they see it as a cop out ie I don't know the answer therefore just ' get a professional'.

More than likely though they don't like the fact people think the problem is beyond their experience and an expert is needed.
 
I suppose its because it might make them feel that they have failed....I know this isn't the case at all, there will always be situations we can't sort out on our own, but when you've tried really hard to achieve something by yourself, it can be so disappointing to realise you aren't quite up to it. I do understand it because I've done it in areas other than riding and made myself feel like a right waste of space when I've had to eventually give up and ask for help.

I've never had a problem with it with horses because my career isn't equestrian related so alhtough I own horses I wouldn't count myself an expert. If it was my career in some way I might feel differently.
 
Maybe because they can't afford it and are embarrassed, or maybe they feel disappointed that people believe they aren't capable of working through the problem themselves?

It doesn't mean that they won't take the advice on board and see that it was people just trying to help once they think it though.

Sometimes posts do make you react :( or :mad: until you chill and come back to it later.
 
More than likely though they don't like the fact people think the problem is beyond their experience and an expert is needed.[/QUOTE]


But it obviously is beyond their experience otherwise they would not be asking for advice on a forum.
 
Because their ego gets in the way of what's best for the horse unfortunately. Ive felt like poo when someone told me to get some help with body language when handling my filly but you know what I did and the result was amazing, I now 'get it'!
 
be positive said:
More than likely though they don't like the fact people think the problem is beyond their experience and an expert is needed.
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But it obviously is beyond their experience otherwise they would not be asking for advice on a forum.[/QUOTE]


Not true. Many very experienced people have come on to ask for ideas / help etc with particular issues.
 
Pride comes before the fall:D. It happens all to often, then before you know you end up with dangerous beasty thats only fit for the blood bank, very sad but very true:(
 
Another reason why people might get annoyed is that they already have professional help, but are still struggling and are hoping for more input.
 
There's a world of difference between asking for second opinions & experiences, & clearly being out of your depth. There's a thread at the moment about a clearly overhorsed child. Nobody can offer advice to suddenly make the kid more experienced, therefore lessons are the only solution. Whereas I've read other threads about kids ponies, where really all that's needed is a few different ideas.
Too many people don't realise experience comes at a price. Either years of hard graft to get your own knowledge, or paying for someone else's help. If my car car breaks down, I wouldn't post on a car forum saying 'help, how do I replace a leaky radiator & brake pads'. I expect to pay a mechanic. Why do people think horses are any different?
(and Pmsl at wench)
 
I dont understand this either.

Having a horse has never been what you'd call an inexpensive hobby.

If youve taken on a youngster / problem horse etc etc then expect to pay out ! Unless your a pro who breaks and schools for a living.
 
be positive said:
Why is it that so often when someone comes on asking for advice they get upset when it is suggested that professional help is the best way forward?

The professionals are there to help, they are trained, experienced, qualified to do so, why, other than the financial implications, are people so reluctant to use the help that is available?

Sometimes just another pairs of eyes can resolve issues before they become a real problem, I think it is rather sad that so many people feel it is somehow giving up to get proper help and advice.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't be upset. I'd quite like input on certain things whether it be get help, or man up, or do X,Y,Z differently, or have you considered X,Y,Z etc.

It's also nice to know that other people have been there and come out the other side. Sometimes there are little tips which are invaluable (thinking back to napping and planting threads of simple things to help yourself).

Also it's finding someone you trust enough. I've spent hours and hours looking for professional options for if ever needed and only one has been considered when I break it down (and she's on here and hours away).

Sometimes it's nothing a professional could help with. I had youngster a nightmare for over a year due to a bad experience. Ultimately I needed to be able to deal with it. A professional would sort her - but it would be back to square one with me and I wouldn't have been able to keep her. I needed to move on in my head and that was not something that talking or working with her could do, I knew the day that I had got over the experience and could start again.

I've had bad experiences with professionals, and the best of all recently with help training a youngster (not mine)... it needs to be better trained before they'll help :rolleyes: Thankfully I have horsey OH and father who I value on that level and some great friends for helping.

I think on the other side of the coin too many people use a professional for their horse and not themselves. If you need help, the horse and owner both need to be trained or it's straight back to square one.

And ultimately (for the same reason people won't sell when overhorsed and I've seen a paralysis and dead horse come out of one of these...) people don't want to admit defeat.

People need to be in the mindset that you have more balls and sense to admit when you need help than to destroy a horse and possibly yourself by not asking for help. I will always ask for help, whether it be someone to stand by incase it all goes wrong, someone to advise, or someone to do it for you.

As often as a professional is the best answer, a professional is not always what the horse and owner need.

The one I stand by always though is that if a horse is ill, vet first, forum after while waiting on vet. Don't come on with a big worry and not have called for help.
 
littlelegs said:
There's a world of difference between asking for second opinions & experiences, & clearly being out of your depth. There's a thread at the moment about a clearly overhorsed child. Nobody can offer advice to suddenly make the kid more experienced, therefore lessons are the only solution. Whereas I've read other threads about kids ponies, where really all that's needed is a few different ideas.
Too many people don't realise experience comes at a price. Either years of hard graft to get your own knowledge, or paying for someone else's help. If my car car breaks down, I wouldn't post on a car forum saying 'help, how do I replace a leaky radiator & brake pads'. I expect to pay a mechanic. Why do people think horses are any different?
(and Pmsl at wench)
Click to expand...

I agree, everyone with horses continues to learn, I feel I learn something new every time a new horse arrives, they are all different, an open mind to new ideas and a different approach may be all that is required to resolve minor issues when the owner has some experience.
It is the more serious problems where experienced help is really required and some people get all defensive, there are plenty of posters that can offer help, the forum is a great sounding board but at the end of the day only so much can be done without really seeing the problem.
 
I think when people are advised to get professional help it opens a whole new can of worms. There are proffesionals and proffesionals. I know a professional rider who is fantastic at bullying horses into a quick fix, gets great results but I certainly wouldn't want him working on any of my horses. How many times have we heard tales of woe of people sending their youngsters off to be backed only to have them sent back ruined.

I would always try and get help if I need it, but its just easier said than done. If you screw your own horse up it somehow isn't as bad as paying someone else to screw it up!
 
Some people just will not ask :rolleyes:

I consider myself pretty well clued up on most things 'horse' but felt that I needed to get another set of eyes to deal with an issue I was having recently.
I didn't bother posting about the prob on here, but made a phonecall & got help :)

The top pro's have assistance still, so why does 'Joe/Joanne Punter' not think that they might not ever need the help of someone in real life? :confused:
Why have a horse & not realise its potential - or iron out a problem :confused:

I know there are professionals & then there are professionals - take advice from someone you have watched working with horses, not a number from a book, nor one who you just see winning!
 
Professionals are usually professional for a reason, they know what they are doing

My job is to know the inner workings of a shock absorber yet I wouldnt expect an equine professional to even be able to find the ones on their own car!

Sometimes you have to play to your strengths and accept that you cannot know about everything
 
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