pts nastiness.

luckyoldme

luckyoldme

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i had my 30 year old pts on Monday, the proffesionals were amazing it went very smoothly.
I want to put the circumstances on here and the after effects because right now i cant evan bear to think about my horse, and on night shift last night i heard on phrase over and over againl
My horse was at the very beggining of the visible signs of old age decline, i was royally ripped off when i bought him, but given i only wanted a happy hacker i decided to fight through the initial carnage which we did, and we had a lovely 10 years strolling around the lovely area we live in. We ended up living in livery bliss for the last 7 years with others on a small holding where everyone just rubbed along, No one fell out believe it or not and we just mucked in and helped each other out. I ve posted on here too about how lucky i felt and that i thought the world of the owner.
When new liveries came, things changed, fur was flying in all directions and the owner made it very obvious he was firmly in their camp and the friendship i had valued was effectively over. I immediately made the decision to move. Part of that decision was to have my old boy pts.
I made that decision , If I hadnt felt pushed out of where we were I would have given him a bit longer, but ultimately I needed to leave and at 30 i felt it was better for my old boy to end his story where we had been for the last 7 years. The last few days before he went he was stranded at the bottom of the field, i had to almost force him to come in for his feed. He was struggling on the frozen ground, but on the day we put him to sleep he looked about 2 year old bright and beautiful. Im afraid to say it but money did come into my decision , I have a 6 year old i bought from the owner of the yard and wasn t expecting to have to find somewhere new I have changed jobs and it was allways hanging over me if something went wrong what if i could nt afford to sort it.
So basicly those are the facts. Ive tried to be fair to everyone and not big myself up.
the day my horse was pts i had asked for the privacy to spend time with my horse. I was denied this and the new liveries hung around till just before the vet came. This really really upset me but i kept my head down and we got through immediately after i left with my other horse. Having cleared my stuff out beforehand.
Ther following day In a phone call discussing the return of money owed (he was very good about that) i was accused of stealing 2 yellow buckets (i did take buckets there and I did bring 2 home but i told him rather than make a big do of it he could have them) ...the owner told me that i am a disgrace for having my horse put down as there was nothing wrong with him and i was supposed to love him.
The reason that I am writing this is that i can t tell how much damage those words have done. I knew my horse for 10 years and evan when for the last month i hated the yard i was up there at 6 every morning to take care of him and avoid people.
I did a night shift last night, and i heard those words over and over again. If they were spoken to break my heart it worked. I know people will tell me how mean he is and the really mad thing is that he sent his own horse to slaughter (no judgement here, just odd to do that then criticise me for what i did for my old boy)
I spoke to lady today who told me its the owners who dont make the decision who are the disgrace.
I hope my horse is resting in peace, but right now i cant evan bear to think about him..i am just so bloody distraught.
 
jeezus, I am so sorry-these things are hard enough without people being viscious about it. you are not a disgrace, you did what was right for the horse and for you-no shame in that.
do you still have a horse there?
 
MotherOfChickens said:
jeezus, I am so sorry-these things are hard enough without people being viscious about it. you are not a disgrace, you did what was right for the horse and for you-no shame in that.
do you still have a horse there?
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I had a friend came up with me and we took my other horse away immediately. My other horse originally belonged to the owner and they had her mother. Unfortunately the mother died and they now i think wish they had kept my horse..they asked to buy her back the day i said i was having my old boy pts.
 
I’m so very sorry that you have had the malicious comments, on top of such an upsetting situation. Your choices for your horse were completely responsible, and kind and you have to hang onto that. You don’t have to justify yourself, and please just treasure your memories.

The rest of it is just evil, and I wish I could wash away the words and actions of those former friends. Be reassured, many of us have had to make hard choices and cried over them, but known it’s for the best. I wish you happiness in your new abode.
 
I am so sorry such a difficult time was made even more upsetting. I think you have to try and ignore what the yard owner said (I know easier said than done), but honestly, whether it was said out of stupidity, thoughtlessness or intentional hurt, their words are irrelevant. You made a difficult decision in the best interests of your horse, taking your and his circumstances into consideration. He was a very good age, was clearly loved from your post and he will have known nothing about it.
 
If so many people weren't mostly awful, humans wouldn't need animals as companions. That's my view anyhow. Sorry for your loss, OP. Onwards and upwards.
 
I couldn't read and run but just to say I am sending all my love to you at this already awful time for you. You must tell yourself over and over that you knew your friend better than anyone else and on one has the right to criticize you. People can be so so cruel. Be kind to yourself and try to surround yourself with people that are supportive. I am truly sorry for your loss and I hope in time the pain you are feeling dulls enough to allow you to remember all your happy times with your boy.
 
There is only one person who is a disgrace in this whole thing and trust me when I say it is NOT YOU!

No matter how tough one thinks they are going to be its generally not as strong as you actually are when it comes to it. You have absolutely done the right thing, you should absolutely not feel guilty or bad about the decision you made but you do need to grieve and put this behind you and never speak to these people again.
 
KittenInTheTree said:
If so many people weren't mostly awful, humans wouldn't need animals as companions. That's my view anyhow. Sorry for your loss, OP. Onwards and upwards.
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Agree with this. Hold your head high and know that you did your best for your boy. If he was struggling to move around the field when it was cold it doesn’t sound premature at all. His time would have come soon enough and you’ve saved him a lot of suffering and let him go with dignity and that’s nothing to be sorry about.

When it was my pony I knew I was doing the right thing by not prolonging the inevitable but I still had awful guilt a few days later. Someone on a forum wasn’t very kind and basically told me to get over myself and asked what the point was of keeping an old horse going until it did suffer. Harsh words at the time but they did make me see that whatever I felt, my horse didn’t have to suffer because I’d made the decision.

I hope you can find some peace soon x
 
What a disgraceful yard owner, you, on the other hand, come across as caring and responsible. I always hear the saying "Better a week too early than a day too late" when I people discussing pts. When people show their true colours like this you need to find the strength to rise above their maliciousness, knowing in your heart you did the right thing. From how you discribe your horse struggling I would do exactly as you did. Be kind to yourself x
 
luckyoldme said:
I had a friend came up with me and we took my other horse away immediately. My other horse originally belonged to the owner and they had her mother. Unfortunately the mother died and they now i think wish they had kept my horse..they asked to buy her back the day i said i was having my old boy pts.
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well, tough luck on them-they should be thankful the horse has gone to an owner who can make difficult decisions based on the whole picture. try and put it behind you, you know you did the right thing.
 
Antw23uk said:
There is only one person who is a disgrace in this whole thing and trust me when I say it is NOT YOU!

No matter how tough one thinks they are going to be its generally not as strong as you actually are when it comes to it. You have absolutely done the right thing, you should absolutely not feel guilty or bad about the decision you made but you do need to grieve and put this behind you and never speak to these people again.
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Absolutely this

I'm v glad that you were able to make the decision, sad that you didn't have quiet time before, and so angry on your behalf on what has gone on after.
Xx
 
luckyoldme said:
i had my 30 year old pts on Monday, the proffesionals were amazing it went very smoothly.
I want to put the circumstances on here and the after effects because right now i cant evan bear to think about my horse, and on night shift last night i heard on phrase over and over againl
My horse was at the very beggining of the visible signs of old age decline, i was royally ripped off when i bought him, but given i only wanted a happy hacker i decided to fight through the initial carnage which we did, and we had a lovely 10 years strolling around the lovely area we live in. We ended up living in livery bliss for the last 7 years with others on a small holding where everyone just rubbed along, No one fell out believe it or not and we just mucked in and helped each other out. I ve posted on here too about how lucky i felt and that i thought the world of the owner.
When new liveries came, things changed, fur was flying in all directions and the owner made it very obvious he was firmly in their camp and the friendship i had valued was effectively over. I immediately made the decision to move. Part of that decision was to have my old boy pts.
I made that decision , If I hadnt felt pushed out of where we were I would have given him a bit longer, but ultimately I needed to leave and at 30 i felt it was better for my old boy to end his story where we had been for the last 7 years. The last few days before he went he was stranded at the bottom of the field, i had to almost force him to come in for his feed. He was struggling on the frozen ground, but on the day we put him to sleep he looked about 2 year old bright and beautiful. Im afraid to say it but money did come into my decision , I have a 6 year old i bought from the owner of the yard and wasn t expecting to have to find somewhere new I have changed jobs and it was allways hanging over me if something went wrong what if i could nt afford to sort it.
So basicly those are the facts. Ive tried to be fair to everyone and not big myself up.
the day my horse was pts i had asked for the privacy to spend time with my horse. I was denied this and the new liveries hung around till just before the vet came. This really really upset me but i kept my head down and we got through immediately after i left with my other horse. Having cleared my stuff out beforehand.
Ther following day In a phone call discussing the return of money owed (he was very good about that) i was accused of stealing 2 yellow buckets (i did take buckets there and I did bring 2 home but i told him rather than make a big do of it he could have them) ...the owner told me that i am a disgrace for having my horse put down as there was nothing wrong with him and i was supposed to love him.
The reason that I am writing this is that i can t tell how much damage those words have done. I knew my horse for 10 years and evan when for the last month i hated the yard i was up there at 6 every morning to take care of him and avoid people.
I did a night shift last night, and i heard those words over and over again. If they were spoken to break my heart it worked. I know people will tell me how mean he is and the really mad thing is that he sent his own horse to slaughter (no judgement here, just odd to do that then criticise me for what i did for my old boy)
I spoke to lady today who told me its the owners who dont make the decision who are the disgrace.
I hope my horse is resting in peace, but right now i cant evan bear to think about him..i am just so bloody distraught.
Click to expand...
OP as I read through your post, I got madder and madder and even madder at these a**holes you’re writing about. I’ve met plenty of nasty people in my life (I’m a YO after all!) but this lot really do take the biscuit! Shame on your YO and shame on each and every one of them! At 30 years old I have no doubt whatsoever you did the right thing whatever your reasons, financial or otherwise. I would much rather see a horse pts when they still have a little dignity left than wait until one day they go down and can’t get up. Hateful hateful morons. Right, I really need to calm down now. I’m sorry for your loss and please I beg you do not let these barstewards make you feel guilty!
 
You did what was right for you and your horse .
People take wildly different views about the whole PTS thing and why they feel the need to make life hard on those they differ with I have no idea .
Every time you think about it just close off the memory lucky is the horse who leaves this world in the care of his long term owner , think a of a happy time with you’re old boy instead .
Be kind to your self and put this behind you .
 
Words fail me. I've often said I love horses but I really struggle with the 'Horse World' from dodgy dealers to controlling YO's to bullying, interfering, opinionated liveries. So sorry people have been so vicious and cruel. I am so angry on your behalf! What kind of cruel, mindless cretin does not allow you some quiet private time with your horse at the end? And who on earth quibbles about sodding buckets at a time like that? It does not matter what they said to you - their actions shout volumes about the kind of people they are. Try to not worry about or care about what they said or did - they are irrelevant. You never need to see or speak to them ever again and they do not deserve space in your head.

Just focus on the fact that you did what so many owners of oldies refuse to do - you had the courage to give your horse a dignified end in a place he felt safe and before he was suffering.

We are at the beginning of what is forecast to be a harsh winter. It sounds like he would not have coped with a move but nor would he have coped with another winter either. You did absolutely the right & responsible thing. One final gift of love. I am so sorry for your loss.
 
Wow - there really are some horrid people in the world.

OP I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry you had to go through this.

Your old boy is resting in peace now - move on and forward with your youngster ;-) xx
 
YOU ABSOLOUTELY DID THE RIGHT THING!

You put your horse before yourself and you did right by him: you gave him a peaceful ending where he was happy.

Ignore the people at your old yard, enjoy your youngster and your new yard and remember the good times with the old boy. Sending hugs.
 
This is awful for you, you did absolutely the right thing for the right reasons. At 30 your horse didn't have very much longer anyway and it was nice for him that on his last day he was feeling OK. Much, much better than finding him down in the corner of the field and cold and lonely.

Please, please remember the good things and good times you had together and know that in your heart you did the right thing for him and just try to blank out all the others.

It is always very sad and very hard for an owner when they have to say goodbye, grief is natural and raw at the moment, but look forward to the new yard and happy times with the new horse.
 
Better a week too early than a day too late.

You knew your horse and you were the only one able to make that decision.
 
How upsetting. You are grieving and these horrible people are making you question your judgement. They are not your friends, they wanted to hurt you and they have succeeded. The good thing is you have moved away from them and in time their nasty words will fade, at the moment they are all to consuming as you come to terms with your loss. Try and focus on your new yard and horse and tell yourself, (and everyone on here is telling you too), that you did the right thing. x
 
Christ on a bike! How awful for you OP. There needs to be more people out there ready to make the decision to PTS when their horses get to the end of the road. You absolutely did right by your horse and it is not for anyone to question your decision. God, these ass hats who think it is acceptable to pass comments on very personal and difficult decisions! My friend was the subject of a social media hate campaign when she had her two oldies PTS together. The old owners (who hadn’t so much as sent a text after my friend bought the horses 12 years ago) were behind it. Apparently they felt they should have been consulted and give first refusal to buy them back, ffs.

OP please don’t let this awful behaviour colour your memory of your beautiful horse - try to focus on the good times and on your lovely youngster.

You’ve done the right thing. Hold your head high x
 
Now listen here; you have NOTHING to feel bad about. You have spared a struggling old horse the infirmities and suffering of age - what could be kinder than that? Just be grateful you are away from these awful people.
 
I couldn't read and run having not long ago been in a similar situation. A yard I was very happy on and what I thought I would always return to took my decision to pts my old mare badly and made it well known for a hellish final week, and I will never forgive them for ruining my final days with my horse with just pure nastiness. Unfortunately I think a lot of these kinds of situations boils down to money!

But just remember you did the right thing, there is nothing worse than seeing older horses left to suffer because an owner wont make the decision for their own benefit. You 100% did the right thing x
 
This post has touched a nerve for me, so I really understand.
About 6 weeks ago I had a much loved 25 year put down, her eye sight was deteriating & she wasn't holding weight well, last winter was not a good one for her, so I made the decision to put her down before this winter, I wanted her last day to be a happy one & not spent suffering.
I have had to put up with some snidey & bitchie comments. Try to ignore any spitfullness, the decision is between you & the vet, it's none of anybody else's business. Although I miss my horse every day I have no regrets & feel no guilt, I loved her too much to allow her to suffer.
 
Walk away with your head held high, caring owners know when the time is right, and no one, not anybody has the right to question your decision. Xx
 
You absolutely did the right thing. I'm a big believer that putting them to sleep to avoid them suffering is just as valid as putting them to sleep because they're suffering. It's pants when the best thing for them is the worst thing for you and its even worse when people who should know better makes you feel bad about it. To use the situation to have a go at you when they're angry at something completely different (and they have no right to be angry about that either, the way they have treated you) is unforgiveable. Hugs.
 
OP you did completely the right thing. One thing that stood out to me in your post (aside from the nastiness) was that you said on the day he looked bright and beautiful. How much better than he went on a "good" day, knowing nothing about it, and not down and struggling in a frozen field. I know it feels "wrong" when they look bright but when you look back in future, you will have that memory of him feeling well, not the awful one of a "forced" choice.

The only advice I can offer is to think about your old lad and how he had a great life with you and that you were there for him right until the end. Hugs.
 
You made a very kind decision, which is never an easy one.

You seem like a very responsible horse owner and I am so sorry you've had to hear such nasty words about such a selfless act. Sending you a BIG hug.
 
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