Pushy parents

Firefly9410

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I would tell the parents to back off. When they tell you the child needs pushing out of their comfort zone I would say "well that is nothing to do with me" or act confused "why are you telling me this?" and if that leads to more comments remind them you are not her riding instructor. With the debrief after the ride I would explain you are their daughter's hacking companion, that you ride to relax and you do not appreciate all the questions on returning from the ride, you need to get on now and walk away from them to do something. Be quite blunt with them, they are treating you like staff and it is not right.
 

Shilasdair

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English people are funny. :D

Just tell the father straight that you are not being paid - and that what you do on hacks is between you and the child.

As a riding instructor in the past, I had no qualms telling parents where to get off. Sometimes children need someone to stand up for them.
 

Lois Lame

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I guess that's right, Shilasdair. Tricky for some of us though.

I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter, GW.
 

honetpot

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I 'learned' to ride by begging for rides on anything, so when my children got ponies we always had a helper/sharer who helped me in return for rides, so I know what its like to want to help a keen child. I would not want to be responsible for a nine year old, and especially as the parents are asking you to do something the child are unwilling to do. Just say you have taken advice and your insurance will not cover it, you can not take responsibility for the child, it's their call.
 

Baywonder

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Really sorry to say I have avoided them. Which makes me feel guilty...

Please don't feel guilty about this @Gingerwitch. From reading what you have had to put up with, I don't blame you for doing this. Your kindness is being taken for granted by this poor child's parents, and it has moved to another level with them expecting you to be at their disposal whenever they wish.

I agree with other posters comments regarding telling the parents you are not insured to do this, etc. If they do strike up another conversation with you, it might be worth telling them they have pushed their child so much, her confidence has eroded, and she is on the verge of wanting to give up ponies altogether. Poor kid.

I really do feel for you - horses should be your happy and chill time - and you really don't deserve this. :(
 

mini-eventer

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Just tell them, I love taking your daughter out. Please remember this is my hobby and although she is welcome to come any time I'm not willing to push her. How about you get an instructor in 1x week to push her. And I can be her down time.

Please do not be offended if my plans change I am busy with a family and full time job so I can't be 100% reliable. Again this is my hobby and down time and I don't want to feel pressure
 

Lois Lame

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Just tell them, I love taking your daughter out. Please remember this is my hobby and although she is welcome to come any time I'm not willing to push her.

Please do not be offended if my plans change I am busy with a family and full time job so I can't be 100% reliable. Again this is my hobby and down time and I don't want to feel pressure

I really like this, but without the suggestion of their getting an instructor to push her, because that sounds like you're in agreement of the girl being pushed. (So I chopped out that bit.) [toothy smilie] (I can't do those really good smilies because I'm on a PC, not a phone.)
 

babymare

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GW you should not feel guilty at all and you certainly are not cruella! You are being extremely kind to the child and it makes me so angry the parents make you feel like that. Time for “tough knickers” and tell them it’s your way or no way. Why do some people abuse acts of kindness?
 
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