Quandry, what to do, livery.

Enfys

Enfys

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Ho hum.

I have recently bought a horse from someone, and she's being a bit clingy (horse belonged to her daughter who tragically died in an RTA so I do understand the attachment) emailing 2 or 3 times a day but it's only been a few days so I am presuming that once she gets used to not having her at the yard she will back off a bit.

Now, the quandry. This lady and her sister have 3 horses between them and they know that I take Boarders and are asking if I can take theirs too.

Pros of course, being the cash, and a daughter the same age as mine.

Cons: One horse is an 18.2 Belgian with feet the size of dustbin lids.
If this lady is clingy now, will she be worse if she is here?

So, do I give it a go and then perhaps not be able to extricate myself from the situation, or do I say that I don't have room? (That Belgian isn't going to fit through my stable doors for a start!)
 
Phew, what a choice!!

If it were me, I'd steer clear. Better for you to be able to bond with your new horse, and not feel like you have her constantly breathing down your neck.

I think a bit of distance would be better, even if the money would be useful, I don't think it would be worth it in this case. :)
 
Personally I would say 'NO!' very firmly. Well, kindly, but you know what I mean. But I am a cynical, unfriendly old bag. I can't imagine anything worse than having the previous 'attached' owner breathing down my neck though. Sorry. :eek:
 
I'd say the 18.2 Belgian makes it reasonably easy for you to make excuses and say that you don't feel you have suitable facilities. If they're being clingy by email then I don't think its going to help anyone if they move to your farm.
 
This lady is still grieving and I think it could get nasty. Do you really want some one with such strong feelings breathing down your neck when you are on the yard? The money might be handy but they could all walk out together as well if you put her nose out of joint. I'd steer clear.
 
It could be as simple as that they like you, trust you, respect you and find you supportive. Not a bad proposition for potential paying liveries .....
 
Rotchana said:
It could be as simple as that they like you, trust you, respect you and find you supportive. Not a bad proposition for potential paying liveries .....
Click to expand...

Hmm - but if you trusted someone, would you feel the need to email two or three times a day?

And anyway, you are obviously a much nicer person than I am, Rotchana! :)
 
Tennessee, that is exactly what I think, but OH wants more Boarders in.

The biggest problem is that our house is on the yard, to get to any fields or the barn Boarders walk across the yard which is basically our (albeit very large) back garden.

If I found these particular Boarders invasive I would literally have to shut myself in the house to avoid them:( All my current Boarders are absentee owners with retired or young horses on full pasture board, I like it that way. These folk would be here daily, also the loo for Boarders is downstairs, which means I have to allow access to the house with only a door (unlockable) between that and my home.

Crikey, where did all these replies come from?
 
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That is a quandry, how very sad for that poor lady.
Clingyness in my experience can be a real problem, it can backfire, and if the warning signs are there now I would steer clear, its best to keep more of an arms length in this case I think.

As said, just say you do not have room or facilities for such a large horse perhaps..
 
Ummm this is tricky, personally i don't think it is about the horse as such, more about being close to something that was obviously very close to her daughter.

Her pain must be immense and now the horse has gone, she is probably feeling one of the last links to her daughter has gone.

I think she may of sold the horse too soon.

What this poor lady is experiencing is something no one should ever have to endure, i personally would be concerened for her feelings and would offer her the option of stabling the horses with me. But i would also sympathetically explain my concerns.

Do you think she is someone you could get on with normally? You probably need to go with your gut instincts.
 
speaking as a parent of a deceased child in the same circumstances it sounds to me very much like she is clinging on to her daughters horse as a way of trying to keep her daugher in her life. I can understand that and know it isn't easy to let go of something that was so dear to her daughter and must make it very difficult for her. However I also think that having her as a livery at this moment in time would not be a good idea. I would keep in touch with her by email but try to keep the emails short and not 2 or 3 times a day. Once a week should be sufficient for now as this lady obviously needs to know that her daughters horse is well loved and cared for to help put her mind at ease,but by emailing you several times a day it's like she really is trying to keep the horse a part of her life. Presumably she needed to sell the horse for financial reasons or I would assume she would have wanted to keep her indefinitely. I would make polite excuses such as the 18.2 gelding being too much of a problem due to his size and your facilites not being suited and would also just say you don't have the space at the moment.
 
I think that I am not even going to tell my OH about them asking, I've got such a big mouth that I tell him everything though.

I could use the gelding ploy, I had already mentioned that I never buy geldings because of my stallion, and I really am cringing at the thought of those Belgian feet in Fall and Spring when it is wet:eek:

She really IS a lovely lady, I like her very much, and I sympathise wholly with her. I can only imagine how I would feel if I lost my daughter, but, in reality, I have no idea how it feels. I can't think of a much worse thing than losing a child to be honest.
 
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No no no no no and thrice no.

Can you honestly imagine feeling like hiding at your own place? you will make a rod for your own back and run the risk of loosing good boarders or get a reputation of being a bit of a so and so


the money is not worth the hassle !
 
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