RANT ALERT - Offers of 'HELP'

[Spotsrock]

I work with a girl who hasn't got a horse. Or a hat. From conversation she never got past riding school walk trot canter level, though she tells me she used to muck out for rides occassionally so does know some of the work involved.

I have 3 horses at the moment, a 4th I look after is not mine to offer out and my other is away on loan till spring when she will be sold and is a total diva anyway.

B who I backed and have spent 9 years getting exactly how I like her, my pride and joy and horse of a lifetime, has a history of bad back and distrusts strangers. I try to cater for her likes as my parents have an acre so if worst happened financially she and L would go there till I sorted myself, will never have to be sold. She knows the family she is gifted to in my will so all bases covered, she doesn't need to 'do' strangers.

L who at 32 is retired but for pony rides occassionally for my friends under 10's

S who is an angry ball of temper when ridden and liable to cart any rider directly back to his stable, do not pass go do not collect a bag of treats, though lovely and quiet to handle on the ground, (I let the student vet inject him today as he is so easy!).

Anyway, lovely girl in my office (she actually is lovely) has offered to come and 'HELP' me by riding them!! No offer of poop scooping at 5:30 am, no apparently I can do that but she will HELP me by riding them alternate weeks!!

Why do I get up at 5:30 to go and poop scoop them and fill and soak nets in the freezing cold and trudge through the mud to and from the field 4 times a day, live in riding clothes, arrive at rare nights out with hay in my hair and have very few of the fancy things in life??

So that I CAN RIDE THEM!

Most people offer to help in exchange for riding! Now here's the tricky bit. No way I'm having someone on B when I don't know if they can ride. I'm not pulling L back into work either! That just leaves S.

Question, am I cruel letting her come once on the understanding that it is only S is available? I have tried to hint that most people who want to ride regularly look at a financial contribution or something.

If it turns out she can handle him I would consider a share (for contribution to costs) and will have a new friend to ride with, great. If not, he will just bolt back to his stable with her (enclosed area) and seems to know this won't wash with me, even if it does other people, so no harm done for him, but she may realise it's not all jill's gymkhana and stop asking.

I would just keep making non commital noises but the others in my new office want to come and just meet the horses over the xmas break and my boss brings her little boy to ride Lottie sometimes so it is starting to look odd that I keep turning this girl down.

Rant over, thanks for reading, I feel better now!

Ok so the garage has rung and my car won't be returned tonight, feel mean now as this girl is running me about after work tot he yard!!

 

[ThePony]

If you would like her to come and ride him then go for it, if you aren't interested in offers of help to ride them then say - no harm either way, but I can't get the impression from your post wether you want the help or not (abliet without moving muck help!)?!

 

[Flicker]

I would probably say something along the lines of 'thanks so much for the offer, that is very kind. I am actually ok with the riding part, but really, really need help with mucking out and poo picking. Does your offer still stand?'

 

[Spotsrock]

If you would like her to come and ride him then go for it, if you aren't interested in offers of help to ride them then say - no harm either way, but I can't get the impression from your post wether you want the help or not (abliet without moving muck help!)?!

Not looking for any help at all, I'm actually happy de-pooping and riding my own. I think it's just the way it's prhased a sthis big favour to me that's got my back up. I love the pony and if he clicks with someone I would be happy for them to ride him a couple of times a week but I think I would resent doing all the work, paying for his keep, insurance, etc and then someone else just riding him. Maybe I'm just tight but I leave myself without so that I can heve the 3 of them.

 

[Shutterbug]

I wouldn't be hinting about contributions, I would be insisting on it. Horses cost money to keep and no way would anyone be getting to regularly ride my boy without contributing to his shoes. at the very least or if I was on DIY, helping with the hard work by mucking out or poo picking or whatever needs done the day they ride. I would make it very clear that S is possibly available on a share basis for a financial contribution/help with yard duties but only if she can handle him and give her a trial run with the riding and see how she gets on.

 

[Spotsrock]

Thanks, I was starting to feel quite mean!

 

[ElleSkywalker]

Humm, not convinced she knows enough not to be a burden.

Riding school 'mucking out' etc is very different from real world mucking/grooming/tack cleaning.

If she had really wanted to help & be around horses she would have offered to help with stable chores etc rather than thinking her riding one of your horses is 'help'.

Sounds a little, and I could be being very harsh here, like she is after free riding lessons & planning to give nothing in return!

 

[Capriole]

TBH Id just say no, but thanks

 

[PapaFrita]

TBH Id just say no, but thanks

This.
I once had someone come to ride on the very clear understanding that on the days they came they would give me a hand poopicking. In the end it was more hassle than a help; I had to fit my routine around the times they could come and ride and they were always too busy to hang around and poopick, so after a couple of rides I said I was fine on my own, thanks.

 

[indiat]

I'd say thanks but no thanks too. If she falls off S and hurts herself she could decide to sue the hell out of you. I would steer well clear.

 

[Oberon]

Unless you are actively looking for a rider (and I would be looking for someone special who can advance my horse's education - not a riding school graduate) then just say no thank you.

Your horses. Your rules.

I have a rider for my old Arab - she has a happy hack every other week and she helps out two - three times a week, when I'm working PLUS she pays for his hoofcare. We've had this arrangement for 10 happy years now.

I've had other people wanting to ride the other horse, The Tank. I've just said no thank you.

 

[MrVelvet]

You say she doesn't have a hat. Why not tell her she has to buy her own hat if she wants to ride as you are not risking yours getting damaged and it may not fit correctly anyway also tell her you would like her to take out individual insurance. The price of that may put her off too.....

 

[MissMincePie&Brandy]

I don't let people ride mine unless they have their own insurance. Humbug I know, but I'm just looking after myself

You say she has only had a few riding school lessons, and the pony available is 'tricky'. Disaster waiting to happen? How would you feel if she broke an ankle, and was unable to drive and get to work? People turn funny about things like that and she might decide she wants compensation from you?

 

[Jenni_]

Em no.

You have to work hard and work you're way up to earn ' free rides,' not just have a few lessons.

This annoys me - I've competed etc and even when Get the ride on a horse I always expect to contribute to the hard work involved! Sometimes if im
Schooling a horse I wouldn't contribute financially - but horses need looking after and I'd NEVER expect to not do chores!

Half the fun of having horses is the mucking out etc anyway.

 

[xspiralx]

I think she sounds naive, rather than being intentionally cheeky.

To many people having someone to help exercise horses in winter is a help - but obviously not if she's very novicey!

I think I would state that one horse might be available for share if she got on with him, which would be a weekly contribution of x and involve some yard chores, but otherwise you don't need any help, thanks very much for the offer all the same.

 

[Colivet]

I think she sounds naive, rather than being intentionally cheeky.

To many people having someone to help exercise horses in winter is a help - but obviously not if she's very novicey!

I think I would state that one horse might be available for share if she got on with him, which would be a weekly contribution of x and involve some yard chores, but otherwise you don't need any help, thanks very much for the offer all the same.

^this^ is pretty much what I was thinking

 

[ClobellsandBaubles]

I can understand where you are coming from.

I on occasion exercise peoples horses for them but it is always up to the owners discretion how much input is needed financially or work wise which I am happy to accommodative and I have riders insurance

And yet I have random friends asking me if they can come and ride a total strangers horse and I can give them riding lessons despite the fact they don't have any riding gear and have only sat on a horse once before

I don't understand what goes through peoples head sometimes maybe they just hear free riding lessons kerching in their heads and don't understand the dangers, the work and the cost involved with simply being able to ride and that horses are not machines that go round and round just because people want to ride. Who knows

 

[Keen]

Sounds like naivety to me too, esp. if she is generally a nice sort. She possibly genuinely thinks this would be helpful, or else doesn’t get how much work you put in to make it possible. Why not explain to her – calmly – what you say here to us, and if she is sensible and grown up and seems to understand, offer to see how she fares with S and take it from there. If not, you’ve lost nothing and she will have learnt something. Good luck, whatever you choose to do.

 

[Hippona]

I'm always amazed that people genuinely think it's OK to ask outright if they can ride your horse....or dress it up as doing you a favour.....simply because you have a horse(s) and they don't....I wouldn't dream of asking to have a bash in someones new car or pop around to use their gas-fired top of the range BBQ. Or indeed....invite myself on holiday with them, seeing as that's one of the things we sacrifice in order to have the horses......

 

[indiat]

I'm always amazed that people genuinely think it's OK to ask outright if they can ride your horse....or dress it up as doing you a favour.....simply because you have a horse(s) and they don't....I wouldn't dream of asking to have a bash in someones new car or pop around to use their gas-fired top of the range BBQ. Or indeed....invite myself on holiday with them, seeing as that's one of the things we sacrifice in order to have the horses......

Exactly! Ask most of these people why they don't have an animal of their own and they will tell you they cannot afford it. But its OK to let you pick up all the bills? The amount of mums at my daughter's school who wanted me to look after their children for them at my yard, giving them free pony rides and lessons while they had some time off was unbelievable! And I don't think its naivety (sp?). Take half a second to think about it and its obvious you are taking the piss. Not 'but I was only suggesting a nice day out for the kids'. Yeah, right.

 

[Capriole]

theres one particular girl thats always hinting, sighing, outright asking, to ride mine.

When hell freezes over, not before.

I saw the way she used to ride the poor creature she had, shes very proud of never having had a lesson in her life (but rides like a sack of $%^&), Id have to be MENTAL to let her on my horse, but she still sighs and says id give my left arm to ride that horse, if you ever want anybody to ride him for you ring me!

I say no thanks, every time, but shes a bit thickskinned lol

 

[Shooting Star]

No, really don't feel guilty about it. I would never let somebody have a regular agreement to ride without both helping and contributing, ok as an occassional one off but not on a regular basis.

God I feel guilty at the moment just riding a friends horses when she offers as I'm still looking for the right one to buy. I would never ask for a ride, always offer as much help as is needed (she won't accept money!) and will get dinner in for us too afterwards as a thank you & sneaky way of paying.

 

[Goldenstar]

Apart from my groom who I trust I never let anyone except my trainer ride my horses , why would let someone whom you have never seen ride on your horse ?