Rather Quick to Judge Sometimes?

JAK

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Was berating foul-tempered Arab mare on yard, as she kicks & bites, the latter particularly when startled! On one occasion, a large horse tried to barge his way out of the field as her owner was fetching her in & the mare lost it completely & sunk her teeth very hard into her owner, grabbing her over her back & not letting go! Owner shrieked loudly, sending everybody running but was luckily wearing several of clothing & suffered only bruising!

Horrible thing.......however......

SWUO one nips (at best!) & bites (at worst!), the latter when she gets over excitable, such as at shows etc. & the former when she is (or was!) being asked to do something she doesn't want to do! On one occasion, she was edging nearer the gate as they passed it in the school & when OH requested she 'move over', she whipped round without warning & sunk her teeth into his leg in sheer temper! (OH did not shriek loudly but pony was under no illusions that she had just made a serious boo-boo!)

I maintain that SWUO is basically a sweet, loving little pony with a wicked temper - Arab mare's owner maintains that she is a sweet, loving horse with fear-based 'issues'!
Nobody 'sees' the SWUO that we know, the one who snuggles up to you, who has 'conversations' in the school with littlest disabled daughter, who 'helps' her look for bits of rubbish on her wombling activities!
Likewise, nobody 'sees' the gentler side of the little Arab, yet I watched her the other day, being groomed by her owner - she stood dozing in the sun, lip drooping, turning every so often to waffle gently over her owner, the epitome of peaceful friendliness!

Sooooo, the point of my waffling is............

Are we sometimes too quick to judge? Do we sometimes only 'see' what's on the surface? How guilty are we of seeing our own animals as the 'whole picture', yet making a judgement on other peoples', based on a very limited perception of their behaviour etc.?

Should we perhaps sometimes look a little 'deeper'? Was this perhaps partly responsible for PF's recent success with Antifaz for example? Did PF look a little 'deeper' into his psyche & behaviour, rather than taking at face value what was apparent on the surface, which is perhaps what so many others have done with him?

Hhmm, sorry, bit philosophical for a Saturday morning maybe?
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sojeph

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Absolutely!
Thats why horses/ponies get passed from pillar to post-so little time spent finding out what they are really about.
Same goes for humans too - never judge a book by its cover and all that!
 

JAK

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On the surface, CB is a bolshy, stroppy, bargey troll - underneath he is a rather insecure, shy, yet loyal & loving little person, devoted to his owner & willing to try anything for her!
He has I believe, spent a lot of his life being treated as the former & people have reacted to his behaviour as though he was the former!

He stamps & kicks out when the farrier/saddle fitter/dentist etc. are 'fiddling' with him, yet he is not 'aggressive'......they frighten him to a degree, make him nervous, put him on edge!
He is in the process of being 're-trained' to at least accept & tolerate handling by other people, even though he does not enjoy it, simply to make life easier for those that need to do things with him & to make it a less stressful process for him too!

I am hoping that if the stamping etc. can be lessened, peoples' perception of him will change as well & they will not automatically presume he is being 'nasty', so a calmer atmosphere all round will ensue! (That's the idea anyway! LOL)
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Boodle

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Totally.

I think everyone percieved Boo, much the same as CB, bolshy, bargy, grouchy, probably even dangerous.

I admit - I have never sold a horse in my life, but at one point I wrote her advert. It got that bad.

But the thing I never saw until a year into owning her was the "person".

She wasn't dangerous, She was bolshy, but why shouldn't she be? Why should she walk alongside me in a 8 acre field when her herd is back at the end of the field?

Why should she trust me to take her on a hack and go where she didn't know, when I didn't trust her, why should she trust me?

I think it was this realisation that stopped me from doing the heartbreaking and selling.

After realising that it gave me a whole new outlook on horses... i think you're totally correct.

I never looked deep enough before, and now I am, I find myself living every horse I meet.

It's the little things that you don't notice - but they can be the most important.
 

clipclop

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Totally agree with you.

I think the problem is, we are always in such a rush with other parts of our lives we end up trying to rush our horses.

They don't really care what time you've got to pick the kids up or whether you've got a competition lined up for him next weekend. LOL.

I don't think there is such a thing as an evil horse. Misunderstood? Yes.

A good friend of mine was told more than once by professional riders that her horse was "Blind dangerous"! With love, thought, considerate riding and time she is now riding the same horse out hacking whilst pregnant and same horse competes and does quite well, usually coming home with a rosette.
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I believe that in a majority of peoples hands this same horse could have ended up on a meat wagon.

We are quick to judge, but I think that is a human "self protect" mechanism that makes us weary of anything that we don't quite understand.

Ooooh, you've made me all philosophical now
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Cheerio
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PapaFrita

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Is this the same mare that cornered one of your daughters (or perhaps more than one) and your own hossies got between her and the girls?
If so, I'm not sure her softer, gentler side would make up for that sort of behaviour. I think we do make more allowances for our horses (knowing their true nature, and just loving them a stupid amount
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) than other people do. So yes, I agree with you. Having said that, each person's tolerance as to what is forgiveable in a horse is different; PF will occasionally nip (Luis told me she grabbed his arse the other day!!) but I don't think I would be too happy dealing with a habitual biter or a rearer.
I'm really glad I did take the trouble to get to know the Ginger One better as (as you might remember!) I was ready to give up on him! If I didn't know he'd been knocked about so much I might've given up anyway if only for my health! Good thing you suggested it, eh JAK?
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amage

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i completely agree with you. the six year old i was riding earlier this year(yes the same one who bust my ankle and ribs) was a holy terror with men but a lamb with me. billed as an ignorant little git with a bad attitude i fell in love with his looks(very shallow of me i know!!!) and discovered a gorgeous little horse underneath. ok he still injured me but that wasn't badness it was misbehaviour which i believe are 2 different entities!! Because he could be a bit piggish he was treated like a brute so he just kept acting like one yet at the same time as he was being a git to his owner he would smother me with kisses and used to try his hardest to learn for me! if anyone ever manages to teach him to have an attention span longer than that of a goldfish he'll be a super little horse lol!!! he's getting on great in his new home because he's getting loads of love and he's like a teddy bear with them. its amazing how a change of attitude towards a horse can change their attitude!!
 

sojeph

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Yep - I too have a cob that can be bargy, stroppy and bolshy. In the wrong hands he'd have a miserable life but because I've had him since he was 14 months old I 'know' him inside out. He really wants to live in my house with me, come everywhere with me - he's more like a dog! Due to his sweet itch, he can be fidgety and bolshy 'ish which I have to keep reminding people of but I'm sure they just think I'm being soft!! Really he's a big softy and just slightly insecure!
 

lennysmith

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Absolutely agree.

People down the yard thought I was mad when I bought Josie. 'meat money' was mentioned many a time. Yet as you say, they didn't 'see' Josie. They didn't see the sweet mare that would fall asleep in my arms in her stable. The mare, that when we were on our own in the yard, would follow me from one part to another whilst I was mucking out, soaking hay etc. Never budging from my side, and stand patiently waiting for any bit of affection I would give her.

They saw the mare that when on a busy yard couldn't be touched and through fear would kick, bite and just flip trying to protect herself. Who woujldn't pick her feet up, because on 3 feet she was more vunerable than 4.

Josie is honestly the sweetest horse I've ever known. I feel so priveledged that it was me she chose to help her regain her trust in people again.
 

Fairynuff

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Most of my oldies have arrived here in retirement with warning letters-"dont do this with him, be careful of this and that, if its windy, cloudy beware because he will quite happily kill you by jumping on top of. What a load of crap! After a couple of weeks getting used to being here and being treated as individual horses (not people) theyre all chilled out and perfectly managable. All have put on weight and lead out like ideal ponies should. My latest arrival is a 17.2 Swedish warmblood dressage ned of 17 years old. Hes always been kept on large busy noisy yard with a huge turnover of grooms(all male).His owner has gone to uni and discovered a social life so Rambo(???? of to a bad start already) has been sent to me.He arrived with the warning of, "dont let him near any dogs, he will savage them"-hes become best buddies with all 3 of mine, "he wont eat for a week"-hes never left a grain in his manger nor a bit of hay in his bed ,"be very careful when the blacksmith comes, hell kill him if he can"-blacksmith came to take off his hinds and commented on how relaxed he was, "lead him out in a chiffney, hes wicked"- hes lead out on a normal leadrope attached to his headcollar. I could go on all day about dire warnings regarding ALL of my liveries but so far NONE of it has been true! I have a policy of treating horses as individuals BUT horses and its worked for me every time. Im not always a nice bouncy happy person 365 days of the year so I dont expect anyone else to be, including animals of any sort.Poor buggers cant tell you outright if theyve got a headache or pmt etc, we have to be willing to translate for them. Mairi.
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Phew!
 

Parkranger

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I totally agree - the emotional attachment is a very good fault coverer!!

Saying that, there's a few people on my yard who won't ride out with us (always make excuses) as he's a bit of a fidget bum on the yard - he's the safest horse on the yard when hacking out - doesn't spook, bolt, nap or anything.....people are quick to judge other people's horses when they only see the 'surface' of one.
 

ruscara

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I loved reading this thread, and can't add anything worthwhile to it, except: I am so glad that there are people like all of you in the world, who will take the time and effort to get to know and understand their animals. Bless you all.
 

hellyt1

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I have to say, it is such a relief to come on here and find people with attitudes like this! I seem to spend so much time with people who either don't have the time or inclination to to see that "bad" behaviour almost always has a cause, it's really very disheartening (sp) I sometimes feel like I'm the odd one for wanting to discover the reasons behind a problem.
 

Snowberry

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I agree, people are very quick to judge and sell on 'problems'.

We bought Glen a good few years ago and we've had nothing but a brilliant time with him. He is the perfect gent, looking after my daughter like a proper pony should. However, if you listened to people who 'knew of' the pony before we got him he was a raving looney!! He bucked, reared, bolted and was bargy. He regularly ditched his rider at jumps and peed off. Harriette is now 11 but has been riding Glen for 4yrs or so and she's qualified him for all the major shows, is placed every single time out, hacks out alone or in company. Any of the kids can bring him in, turn him out and he has manners to burn!!
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We bumped into someone who knew Glen when he was 12yrs old (at show on Tues) some of the stories she told of him were scary but to us he's always been perfect (ok, maybe not perfect but as near as damn it!)
 

brighteyes

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A friend of mine got a fabulous pony for meat money as he'd got himself a bad reputation. Turns out he'd been really badly treated and gone on the (ultra) defensive. Having worked out that using his teeth and hind feet and pulling horrid faces he could keep away the unwelcome humans, he was branded a rougue and destined for the sales.

With a rider on, he is a total schoolmaster and equine saint. All he needed was one to one care and continued respect for his feelings. He is one of the (once unlucky) lucky ones. What a waste if things hadn't gone the way they did.
 

teapot

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Definately agree with what you put Jak. A couple of the horses at my RS (where I used to work too) from the outside you would see just grumpy buggers basically.

But underneath, the 16.3 shire x tb despite his thug like appearance is a total sweetie, will share his softer side with you when appropriate etc.
 

JAK

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Have read all replies with interest - some lovely stories!
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Annoyed that I had to zoom off yesterday, shortly after writing this post, so couldn't join in with any discussion etc. - isn't it annoying when RL gets in the way?
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