Re-adjusting my expectations as a horse owner

[Daniel_Jack]

In the last 5 years I've gone from having a great all rounder cob who could turn his hoof to anything and having ample time to ride/compete etc to having a new, young, slightly broken cob who is going through rehab for chronic suspensory issues. Throw in having 2 kids and I've gone from being a proper horsey person to a parent who has a horse that she sees 3 times a week (4 if I'm really, really lucky!).

Normally at this time of year, when the days get longer and weather improves I'd be looking forward to hunter trials, riding club activities, nice long hacks etc - now I'm at the start of a slow rehab program with a high chance of pony, at only 10 years old, not staying sound or never being up to much more than a short, gentle hack.

I'm really struggling with this prospect - especially as I see other people getting out and about and starting to make plans. Unfortunately, I'm not really in the position to afford 2 horses on full livery (2 children and full time job necessitate the full livery) and I feel really selfish when I think about all the things I won't be able to do - certainly as long as I have my current horse.

I'd never pass on an injured horse - she's so good natured and stoic that I can easily see people taking advantage so she's with me for life but the thought of 10+ years of not being able to properly ride is gut wrenching. She's also not a candidate for just chucking out on grass livery as she gets very, very fat in the summer if her weight isn't managed - costs me more to keep her in summer than in winter.

Before the suspensory issue became apparent I was already starting to contemplate whether she was the right horse for me long term - although ultimately I'm glad I did buy her as god knows what would have happened to her otherwise.

Looking for solidarity from others who have been in this situation - how did you manage? Did you simply accept that you had effectively retired from riding? Or did you manage to buy another or perhaps share someone elses horse? We've not reached the point yet where my mare has to retire but there were some signs this week that the treatment she'd had was perhaps not successful longer term so I'm having to consider that a possibility

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I retired mine and bought half of another one.


ETA, she remained a member of our small herd and continued in her usual routine, her job became 'companion'.

 

[Littlebear]

Could you not retire that one somewhere on field livery and buy another? Sorry edited as i didn't read properly that wasn't an option.

Is she actually field sound or on and off lame, what treatment has she had x

 

[scruffyponies]

I would put out feelers for someone who needs a loan companion for a horse which has similar management needs. Her temperament might get her the job.

 

[Blondiecopper]

In the last 5 years I've gone from having a great all rounder cob who could turn his hoof to anything and having ample time to ride/compete etc to having a new, young, slightly broken cob who is going through rehab for chronic suspensory issues. Throw in having 2 kids and I've gone from being a proper horsey person to a parent who has a horse that she sees 3 times a week (4 if I'm really, really lucky!).

Normally at this time of year, when the days get longer and weather improves I'd be looking forward to hunter trials, riding club activities, nice long hacks etc - now I'm at the start of a slow rehab program with a high chance of pony, at only 10 years old, not staying sound or never being up to much more than a short, gentle hack.

I'm really struggling with this prospect - especially as I see other people getting out and about and starting to make plans. Unfortunately, I'm not really in the position to afford 2 horses on full livery (2 children and full time job necessitate the full livery) and I feel really selfish when I think about all the things I won't be able to do - certainly as long as I have my current horse.

I'd never pass on an injured horse - she's so good natured and stoic that I can easily see people taking advantage so she's with me for life but the thought of 10+ years of not being able to properly ride is gut wrenching. She's also not a candidate for just chucking out on grass livery as she gets very, very fat in the summer if her weight isn't managed - costs me more to keep her in summer than in winter.

Before the suspensory issue became apparent I was already starting to contemplate whether she was the right horse for me long term - although ultimately I'm glad I did buy her as god knows what would have happened to her otherwise.

Looking for solidarity from others who have been in this situation - how did you manage? Did you simply accept that you had effectively retired from riding? Or did you manage to buy another or perhaps share someone elses horse? We've not reached the point yet where my mare has to retire but there were some signs this week that the treatment she'd had was perhaps not successful longer term so I'm having to consider that a possibility

I had quite a concerning diagnosis with mine last year. I felt exactly as you do now. Remarkably my horse managed to turn it around and I’m grateful for being able to get back on and ride.
The competition/hunt is over but I’m re adjusting to a quieter less stressful time of enjoyment until the time comes to say goodbye. Horses have a way of surprising us so please don’t lose faith.

 

[McGrools]

So sorry to hear this, its a very common scenario.
For me personally i have horses because i want to ride and progress my riding, i wouldnt be happy standing on the sidelines.
The best plan of action imo would be to rehab the horse back to soundness then rehome to a less ambitious owner and find yourself something more suited to your dreams and aspirations. Xx

 

[fredflop]

Get through the rehab first, then see what happens.

my situation is vaguely similar. Haven’t ridden properly for some time due to various different factors, and I’m stuck in the middle right now.

 

[IrishMilo]

I had him put to sleep. He didn't have suspensory issues but he had bad arthritis at six. He wasn't the sort you could just chuck out - he freaked out if you approached him in the dark, he HATED the rain and fence walked, and during the warmer months he couldn't be on more than about three blades of grass without blowing up. I'm sorry you're faced with this dilemma, it's really tricky.

 

[PurBee]

If she’s suitable as a light hack/companion you could rehome her and find a more suitable horse for your wishes.

Providing you’re completely honest about her capabilities/illnesses/management, there would be people willing to take on a less active horse...i would if i was planning on adding to my herd, so thats truly a possibility. Plus shes only 10yrs old...great. Would she be gentle enough for kids to learn on?

You shouldnt give up rehoming idea...put out feelers, see if there’s any interest.

 

[Wishfilly]

If she was sound as a light hack and sane enough to put a novice friend on, I think there would definitely be a loan home for this type of horse (personally, I wouldn't sell, but if she's sound as a light hack, I don't think selling is wrong as such).

In the meantime, I would definitely consider looking for a share, or just asking around your yard to see if anyone would consider letting you ride theirs!

 

[Daniel_Jack]

Thanks for all the replies. Sorry to hear that others have found themselves in the same boat - Mcgrools you've hit the nail on the head; I have a horse so that I can ride not just for the joys of horse ownership which sounds selfish but is the truth. I'm not sure though I could live with myself if I sold her on even as a companion or light hack - full loaning might be an option though.

Fredflop - will absolutely continue with rehab and see how it goes. Even if I could get her to the point where she can hack 2/3 times a week for a hour or two and do some very light schooling I'd take that but anything less than that I'd struggle to keep motivated.

If she wasn't such a good doer I'd happily chuck her in a field and get another - I know q couple of yards that would be good options for that but her weight is an issue in the summer and I'd need to weigh that up and consider how problematic it would be not to manage her weight - ultimately if she can't be in work weight management is going to be a struggle anyway!

If I'm honest the responses I was expecting were more along the lines of "they owe you nothing" and it's my responsibility to give her a good retirement even if I can no longer ride so its reassuring to know I'm not a horrible person for considering my options.

 

[FlyingCircus]

If I found myself with no rideable horses (I have 2) I'd give them a summer then PTS.

I don't have my own facilities, so can't and won't spend livery on 2 field ornaments when I don't really enjoy looking after them unless I have specific goals I am aiming for. Even, I have to groom more to get an amazing coat for that show in x amount of months.

Hopefully I won't be in this situation as I'm actively working towards buying a house with land (if bf asks its to save money on livery) to house all my retired broken horses, with the working ones still kept on a livery yard ?

 

[Leam_Carrie]

The retirement livery my old horse was at catered for horses that needed more restricted grazing, and the care was fab. So there could be options.

Then could you consider a share, less cost and time.

Lovely to hear that you’re caring for your horse and their needs. Hope the prognosis improves.

 

[McGrools]

Horses come and they go. We dont have to commit to their whole lifetimes all the time. Many people fall into the trap of believing that they are the only person who can give the horse the life it deserves. But there are lots of good people out there with good homes to offer that would love your horse just for who she is. Xx

 

[dogatemysalad]

I think that's life as a horse owner. I'd count myself lucky if my one riding horse was in work throughout it's whole life. At one time I had one retired through injury, one semi retired and only able to do short light hacks and a third horse that was a filly.
Even when you're able to afford another horse, there's no guarantee that the second won't get broken.
The only way for horse owners to avoid it, is to sell/rehome a broken horse or PTS. Personally, like you, I've always kept mine. Just don't assume you'll be in that situation for 10 years or so. Circumstances change in ways we never expect.

 

[EmmaC78]

I am in a similar scenario, my horse went lame last July and it is looking pretty doubtful he will ever be sound enough for full work. The vet has said to give him until the summer in the hope he will be sound enough to hack a few times a week which I will be happy enough with. I am fortunate in that he is easy to keep and quite happily lives out for most of the year but if that were not the case it would be really difficult position to be in.

I am fortunate in that I can ride friends horses but I am not in a position to buy another (as I already have a second unrideable one ). I think my advice would be not to worry about it until you have to. You just end up worrying about things twice. A miracle may happen yet. As someone above said horses can surprise us. Originally they thought my horse may have to be PTS and now it is looking like he may be lightly ridden again so it can happen. Fingers crossed your mare recovers.

 

[ycbm]

I'm really sorry you find yourself in this situation. As someone who used to have one horse in full livery and love competing, I understand how you feel. But I'm afraid I could not have been as selfless as you plan to be, so I'm not sure my input about what I would do would help.

I just want to say that if you decide that a loan is a good option, please keep her close to home and check on her often, no matter how much you think you trust the loaner. Most people are lovely, but they are impossible to distinguish from the one in a thousand who would sell her on or mistreat her. Someone told me this before I sold a horse that was only capable of light work, and I ignored them. How I wished I had taken more notice when I rescued him from the buyer, starved, 4 months later. That story is sadly far from unique.
.

 

[Auslander]

Don't write her off just yet! Alf was diagnosed with significant PSD at 15. This is him at 20!

 

[Daniel_Jack]

Don't write her off just yet! Alf was diagnosed with significant PSD at 15. This is him at 20!

Wow! That's amazing. My mares PSD is mild but poor hoof and forelimb conformation may make it more challenging to rehab as she'll always be a bit wonky and prone to putting additional strain on the ligaments.

She's got remedial shoes on and had steroid injections - not a candidate for surgery but still have the option of shock wave therapy further down the line.

 

[Auslander]

Wow! That's amazing. My mares PSD is mild but poor hoof and forelimb conformation may make it more challenging to rehab as she'll always be a bit wonky and prone to putting additional strain on the ligaments.

She's got remedial shoes on and had steroid injections - not a candidate for surgery but still have the option of shock wave therapy further down the line.

ALf wasn't a candidate for surgery either. H had shockwave, although Im not sure it did much tbh. He had PRP in one leg, which definitely improved things, but what helped most was Jim Blurton Hind Sports Bar shoes, and an incredibly long, careful rehab. We walked on the road for the best part of a year, and then introduced more speed/different surfaces very very carefully. It was terminally dull, but it worked!

 

[Regandal]

My horse had surgery for psd, before I got him, best thing for him has been going barefoot. His heels, in particular the hinds, had low, crushed heels. No concavity, negative palmer angles.
They are now much improved, decent heels and digital cushion. Takes the strain off the suspensories.

 

[ownedbyaconnie]

If you have a look around I'm sure you would find a retirement type livery that will suit a horse that can't just be out on loads of lush grass. My friend had her horse on a retirement style livery where she was out all the time but there was a stable available for awful weather etc. Or as others have said see if there is someone nearby who needs a companion (but make sure they are close enough for you to visit).

Otherwise I can't really help. I absolutely love riding and I am really missing it at the moment (am pregnant so off pony games) but my pony has a home for life with me and if it means not being able to afford/have time for another to ride then that's a sacrifice I'm happy to make, but completely appreciate that is not the same for everyone. Probably one of those cases where only you can decide what is best for you and your horse.

 

[Daniel_Jack]

ALf wasn't a candidate for surgery either. H had shockwave, although Im not sure it did much tbh. He had PRP in one leg, which definitely improved things, but what helped most was Jim Blurton Hind Sports Bar shoes, and an incredibly long, careful rehab. We walked on the road for the best part of a year, and then introduced more speed/different surfaces very very carefully. It was terminally dull, but it worked!

I've not heard great things re shock wave treatment but would probably try it just incase we got lucky.

Interesting re the shoes. The vets farrier put equilibrium shoes on which my own farrier pointed out was just standard shoes with slight lateral extensions - he just makes them himself but will show him the shoe you mentioned to see if it's worth considering.

Our rehab is a mix of hacking and long lining in the arena. 20 minutes for the next week or do then hacking can go up to 25 minutes and then continue adding 5 minutes every 3 weeks (I can only hack out once or twice a week due to limited daylight right now). After about 12 weeks we'll introduce trot (although she's tried to introduce that herself a few times).

Unfortunately our yard is in a very hilly area which isn't ideal and I may have to move her eventually to somewhere flat if hills cause an issue.

 

[RHM]

I really feel for you. I was in an identical situation 5 years ago. Like you I had a fatty I couldn’t turn away and he was young. Unlike you though I bought that horse for completely sentimental reasons so was never a option to sell on. I begged borrowed and stole rides on other peoples horses, even was lucky enough to be paid to ride a few of them. It’s surprisingly easy to get rides once local people know your ability and availability.
I finally bought a second horse last year and I do feel as though I have so much catching up to do in regards to my riding.
If I was in your shoes I would definitely consider loaning as a hack and then see how it goes. Or find grass livery with rough grazing, they are like hens teeth but they are out there!

 

[Tarragon]

I imagine that finding a track based type livery yard for him would work in keeping the weight down. Or, if he is up to light hacking, a sharer looking for a nice sort to hack could be an option, and you keep him on the same yard. I have a lovely young girl riding my 22 year old pony. The deal is that I do all the looking after and he is kept with my other pony and she pays for just his livery costs, and she rides when she can and they amble around the lanes together. Everyone is happy.

 

[Identityincrisis]

I was in a similar situation, i had a horse who before getting injured i had decided i would back him and ride him away, then sell on as he just wasn't the right horse for me. He then went intermittently lame, was diagnosed with navicular, i rehabbed him but as soon as i started ridden work he would go lame again, i persevered for a year and a half but he wasn't a nice horse, he was very aggressive, would bite and rear daily so I i finally made tge difficult decision to put him to sleep.

I'm not saying this is a route you have to go down but horse ownership is full of difficult decisions

 

[RachelFerd]

There's been more and more track type retirement livery yards popping up around here. Useless for me with my very poor doer TB gelding approaching retirement, but useful for the cob type you describe!

However, i'd be thinking along the lines of getting back into full work and loaning to a home that wants to do less - with a track retirement livery perhaps as a next resort in the background.

 

[Birker2020]

In the last 5 years I've gone from having a great all rounder cob who could turn his hoof to anything and having ample time to ride/compete etc to having a new, young, slightly broken cob who is going through rehab for chronic suspensory issues. Throw in having 2 kids and I've gone from being a proper horsey person to a parent who has a horse that she sees 3 times a week (4 if I'm really, really lucky!).

Normally at this time of year, when the days get longer and weather improves I'd be looking forward to hunter trials, riding club activities, nice long hacks etc - now I'm at the start of a slow rehab program with a high chance of pony, at only 10 years old, not staying sound or never being up to much more than a short, gentle hack.

I'm really struggling with this prospect - especially as I see other people getting out and about and starting to make plans. Unfortunately, I'm not really in the position to afford 2 horses on full livery (2 children and full time job necessitate the full livery) and I feel really selfish when I think about all the things I won't be able to do - certainly as long as I have my current horse.

I'd never pass on an injured horse - she's so good natured and stoic that I can easily see people taking advantage so she's with me for life but the thought of 10+ years of not being able to properly ride is gut wrenching. She's also not a candidate for just chucking out on grass livery as she gets very, very fat in the summer if her weight isn't managed - costs me more to keep her in summer than in winter.

Before the suspensory issue became apparent I was already starting to contemplate whether she was the right horse for me long term - although ultimately I'm glad I did buy her as god knows what would have happened to her otherwise.

Looking for solidarity from others who have been in this situation - how did you manage? Did you simply accept that you had effectively retired from riding? Or did you manage to buy another or perhaps share someone elses horse? We've not reached the point yet where my mare has to retire but there were some signs this week that the treatment she'd had was perhaps not successful longer term so I'm having to consider that a possibility

I am in exactly the same boat as you, having not ridden since before Xmas due to my horse being lame. I've had my horse 17 years in June and of those 17 years I bet there has been around 4 years of not being able to ride due to constant rehab for one thing or another. It's a nightmare, and it gets worse as they get older. I lost four horses in under 7 years and this one was my 'last shot', I'm like you, only able to afford one. Luckily she has survived!

I had a few good years, was out competing every Saturday without fail and had some really good fun and some good results, particuarly in the dressage. And it was always nice to be placed as the venue I used to go to for SJ was usually 40's or 45's in the class so it was hard to get placed with that number, never mind win! We would meet with friends from time to time, but mostly I craved being on my own with her, it was a great lovely partnership.

The injuries were all over compensationary injuries and they kept coming and coming and coming, one after the other after the other. I literally haven't had a single months break from vets bills for years and years now. When I say that, I don't mean I'm getting the vet out every month, just I spread the costs and pay every week a little bit off the balance. She's just a constant money pit and because my vets practice is very diagnostic based and I feel compelled to do the best for her (partly because I want to ride again) we end up having the latest 'best treatments' that always come in at a huge cost. Insurance wasn't worth it with six exclusions on the policy, so I stopped that four years ago now and finance myself. I reckon she's had in excess of £28K spent on her now in vets fees.

I am like you, used to complete, do nice long hacks, fun rides, anything and everything really. Now all I can do is hack her around the block and I can't even do that at the moment, I'm left with a horse who I've not been able to ride since before Xmas, with a last shot chance of rehab at the end of March/April when I can save the money it will cost me for treatment having gel injected into the coffin joint (if that is the problem, which I'm not entirely sure it is). If this doesn't work then its retirement, no more treatment. First it was that I couldn't jump her anymore, then I couldn't ride her in the school anymore, then I couldn't do anything but walk round the lanes. It gradually gets less and less and the years progressed.

And then I sit and wait it out, wait until I have to make the decision or she 'goes' for whatever reason and then eventually get another horse as I cannot be without one in my life. But I won't let her go whilst she is still otherwise heatlhy, happy and full of life just because I can't ride.

So I fully know how you feel, but have to keep telling myself that at least I've had some good years out of her, unlike a friend whose horse another horse who ended up having KS and was sent to the blood bank - she'd sat on it about five times at that point, her next horse was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis when it was four and pts at seven with her riding it about a dozen times and another horse who she has never even sat on who she's had for some four years or more now and is unlikely to even become sound.

But it's particuarly hard as we have had a new influx of people on our yard who are very keen on competing and they have a lot of clinics at the yard which I may have done if my horse had been younger and sound, and I really get envious when they go out competing (or were before lock down). But I guess it's their turn to shine, and I wish them luck, but deep down it hurts like hell.

Funnily enough someone yesterday asked me if I missed jumping and I replied "would you miss your right arm?".

The thing is your horse is only young, mine is old so it kind of comes with the territory and the vets have said repeatedly, as has my physio that being a big 17hh WB she's lucky to have lasted as long as she has, ridden wise.

 

[Justinewilson610]

I have partially retired my ex racer due to unsoundness and bought another. I couldn't not ride/jump/compete and I am not happy with loaning a horse myself. When the ex racer came back into being a happy hacker, I part loaned him to help with the bills and turned out to be the best thing as the loaner and I became very good friends and I had a permanent hacking partner. In your case though, I would most definitely consider loaning or part loaning another or indeed loan your cob out. There are plenty of people happy to come and do jobs and groom/love/spend time with horses whom don't want to ride at all.

 

[Scotsbadboy]

I always thought i was competitive and I certainly liked the idea of being out and about competing but it never really materialised with a full time job and 'life' commitments. I recently had a major confidence crisis on a horse I bought. I knew in my heart the horse i wanted and the horse i needed where two different things and i had a light bulb moment recently and bought the horse i 'needed' and I've never been happier. I dont think he'll do much in the way of competing and he is much more of a happy hack/ fun ride type but I've fallen in love with him and really dont think i care now, i just want to be with him and treat him like the absolute dude he is regardless of his lack of talent.

Different to you in the fact he isnt broken but for me the realisation that actually i wont be out doing the stuff i used to and the stuff i thought i wanted to, really doesnt both me now because i have him and that makes me very happy so i have re adjusted my expectations I suppose. Do i get pangs ... or will i get pangs of envy when i see flashy hot types strutting their stuff? Yes probably, they are the horses im usually drawn to, but to be on a solid, safe and kind horse far outweighs any jealousy i might have. (Hope that makes sense)