Really struggling!

emzilouu

emzilouu

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Joined
13 July 2011
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Norfolk, UK
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I got Olive my cob last Monday she was really nice and caring for the 1st 2 days but then she totally changed her tune and turned aggressive . Whenever I go to her paddock she comes straight over to the gate but then when she realises its me her ears immediatley go back and she starts snorting at me and turns her back on me. I was told to help gain your horses trust to walk them round their paddock, I tried this and she charged towards me and started rearing I put my hands up for her to calm down and she did so I took her leadrope off and walked away and sat down in the corner of her field. When I get into her paddock she turns her back on me and if I walk round towards her head she lets me get to her neck then turns her back again. I walked her out her paddock yesterday and she started throwing another paddy trying to bite me and turning her back on me so I had to get her back into her paddock before she ran loose around the barracks. Went to change her rug today and she wouldnt let me go near her. And she went to charge at me again. To be quite honest.....im s**t scared of her! I dont know if this is dominence or just pure aggression towards me, I have been told to try some join up on her but I dont have a circle paddock or a school I can do it in only large grass paddocks. Does anyone else have any ideas what I can do? I dont want to be scared of her! Please help
 
She knows you are scared and is acting accordingly. You need to be more firm and assertive with her.
Do you have someone with more experience around to help you get to grips with her?
 
Hard to say why she is doing this without knowing her background and knowing how you act around her (not saying you are behaving badly around her, but that perhaps you are unwillingly sending the wrong kinds of signals). But you do need to be the one in charge. Have you got people at your yard who can help?
 
It is really early days with her, get some experienced help and when handling her wear a hat and gloves (I don't mean woolly ones either). Good luck, it is so exciting getting a new horse and then something like this happens, Its probably her being insecure which makes you insecure which makes her insecure..........................if you get my drift.
Good luck with her, I'm sure she will settle.
 
we arent on a yard i live on an army barracks and there are only Olive and my friends 5 horses here. She seems to always be staring at her horses she isnt next to them but she can see them. i cant ask my friend to help me cause shes heavily pregnant and if anything happened to her i would never forgive myself.
 
I wonder if you are creeping around her as she has frightened you? If so she may be defensive because you are creeping, and she thinks there is a reason....do you see where this is going?

Agree with the others though, sounds like you could do with a hand.

Where are you, maybe someone close by?
 
Oh you poor thing, you must feel awful. It's so hard when you get a new horse and just want to love them to bits. I agree with the comments above, it sounds as if she is testing you and mares can be much trickier to bond with at first (it is worth it in the end though!). Is she quite young?

I don't know how old or experienced you are but you sound like you feel the way I did with a horse last year. Finding the right professional to work with made so much difference to me and I've learned so much I wouldn't change anything other than seeking objective independent help sooner and not spending so much time taking well meant advice from friends and just hoping things would improve. I've still got the horse too - best girl ever :)

I'm not a fan of "fluffy" ideas but I do think the Intelligent Horsemanship people I've met have been totally fantastic - they are definitely not "fluffy" people!! Kelly Marks posts on here as IH Kelly so you could always PM her for advice, or there are IH people in your area http://www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk/content/view/47/97/#east

Their consultations don't come cheap but I would be very very very surprised if you didn't feel totally boosted by their help. Richard Maxwell is also fantastic and he's based in Suffolk I think.

If I was you I'd have a good cry and a glass of wine then give one of the IH people a call tomorrow morning. I bet even a chat by phone will help.

You say your girl was lovely for the first two days so I am sure she will love you back pretty soon, just as soon as she trusts you - but trust goes two ways and it is hard for you to trust her when she's not giving you anything to trust. However, she's the horse so you have to be the strong one first.

Very best of luck! x
 
I wonder if the fact that she is on her own is affecting her. She may associate you with having been taken from her friends and now been kept in solitary. Horses can get really on edge and upset if they have to be 'on watch' all the time. She probably does not feel relaxed enough to trust you. Is there no way she could be kept with the other horses? She might then feel safer and more relaxed around you?
 
My daughter was in a similar situation to you, being in the forces, living down south and having a bolshy mare, she joined Monty Roberts online university and has gone from strength to strength.
Do not let your horse bully you and wear a hat when handling her, your voice is also a useful tool if you can get a firm tone to it, with our horses I go from a growl to a whisper when I get the result I want, like not touching haynets/feed till told to.
Good luck
 
Lots of good advice above. We don't put new horses in with the herd at first, to give them time to get to know each other over the fence, so I wouldn't worry about that just now. I would try to get your mare into a routine asap, so that she knows what to expect from you.
Take a schooling whip when you lead her from the field (I wouldn't lead her in the field, although I understand that you thought this would be safer). Hold the schooling whip against her chest as you walk and tap her with it if she tires to do anything other than walk sensibly next to you. Walk close to her shoulder so that she cannot turn her back on you and use your voice to encourage/reprimand her. If you don't want to take her a long way, leave a bucket with a small feed a short distance from the field, lead her to it, tell her she can eat it, when she has finished, turn her and take her back to the field. Make sure that you turn her to face the gate before letting her go.
Be brisk and business-like in your dealings with her, this will give her confidence in you. Don't worry, it isn't that she doesn't like you, it is just that she isn't sure that you are in charge, so feels that she had better be the boss in your relationship. You can rescue the situation by being bossier than she is.
 
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