Regaining confidence.

[Christmas_Kate]

Does anyone know the best way to regain lost confidence?

I lost mine ages ago, I can't pinpoint where and when, it just went

.

As a teenager I was really confident (overly) and would ride anything. Rearers, buckers, i didnt care, I had a good seat and stayed on most of the time.

I went to a RS fpr some private tuition when i got back into horses (after having children) and the instructor was pretty horrible, told me basically I was a c**p rider. Said she wouldnt let me on one of her better horses as I was that bad I'd undo their schooling. Laughed when i told her where i learnt how to ride......
Since then I'll only ride plods, and if they start to mess about I worry it's all my fault and I'm ruining them, and have to get off. I'm the same handling big horses, used to do it all the time, but am so anxious now.

I have thought about having a share, but then what if the owner sees my riding and thinks "no way"?

I don't want to go back to a RS. Thought about buying a plodder to regain my confidence, but they're way out of our price range (especially now the kids want another pony).

Can someone get their confidence back? and how is it done without going back to the dreaded RS?

 

[Smash]

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Can someone get their confidence back? and how is it done without going back to the dreaded RS?

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Why not go to a different riding school? The one you went to sounds - quite frankly - vile, but it would be a shame if that experience caused you to tar all RS with the same brush - there ARE some good ones out there with instructors who will help build your confidence, not knock it down.

I too had a crap experience at one of the riding schools near me - great reputation, but the instructor I had was the height of rudeness and I would end up leaving in tears, dreading the next lesson. While this woman may have consdered herself an authority when it came to horses, she was clearly lacking in people skills and they lost a keen customer because of this.

 

[christy]

hi i lossed my confidence after a very bad accident three months ago i have now brought a new horse and we are starting to do things togethewr ie playing games going for walks that before i even ride im still very nervous but im leraning to trust her. It does take a while and i know how you feel but there are plenty of ppl out there who have safe sensible horses im sure that they would share with you where abouts are you ?

 

[kizzywiz]

I think that you should defo try another riding school, have you any friends you could ask to recommend one? Or perhaps you could go along to watch a lesson, this other place sounds completely vile, after all, if we could all do it perfectly, why would we be having a lesson. I lost my confidence really badly with jumping my pony, tried various different people to get help, she wasn't easy & I was VERY scared. One reasonably well known sj "trainer" said to me after a hideous lesson where he basically screamed & shouted for the entire time & I fell off twice, "You can't f**** ride, it will never jump, why don't you give up & put it in Reading market," needless to say I left in tears. Struggled on for a bit, fell off & broke coccyx, went to someone else for a while who did help me, but it never felt smooth & flowing like I wanted, & I still felt scared. Found Paul Crago, went for a lesson, it was wonderful, at last someone who was interested in helping me in a firm but encouraging way, who didn't take the p*** when I got scared & had some decidedly dodgy moments, 12 lessons later the mare was going like a dream & we jumped a 90cm course, I was so excited I cried, he was beaming & it was like I had always wanted it to be. So the moral of this very long post is please don't let this horrid woman spoil your riding, stick with it & find the right help for you, it is so worth it.

 

[mrsdoyal]

Its hard enough getting back into the saddle again after a break having children without some demoralising sanctimonious old bat in a RS telling you you're crap! You're NOT crap - remember how great you were, you had a good seat and tons of confidence. Having that break just means that you have to get back into practice, and your seat will come back once you've got those muscles into shape. Once you've got good stickability again you're confidence will come back. You dont have to buy a plod, just dont buy a nutter! Having a 1 to 1 again with a horse will soon have you back to your old happy ways. Go for a yee-hah, have some fun, and be yourself again.

ps It doesnt matter HOW you ride. It's how your horse goes. Rider having fun + horse having fun = good rider/good horse.

 

[Hullabaloo]

That says far more about the instructor than it says about you.
Their job is to improve people's riding not to destroy their confidence. If she didn't think you rode well she should've been helping you put that right not laughing at you. This suggests to me she can't do her job so why should you, or anyone else respect her opinion.
I think this is less about how you ride and more about your self-esteem - why are you so worried about what this woman has said to you. Stick 2 fingers up at her and find someone who can help you.
There must be other riding schools - even if it means travelling a bit further. Ring them up and explain your situation - a good teacher should understand.
One thing I have learned since having horses is work out whose opinion is worth listening to and ignore everyone else - and this woman is definately NOT worth listening to.