cbmcts
Well-Known Member
I was sold a lie - that dogs are loyal, faithful, good company and all the work you put into training reaps rewards. A lie I tell ya.
Yesterday most beloved hound had to go for his KC booster. So like any trip to the vet requires, out comes his harness, dogmatic and ultra muzzle - he knows he can eat a whole vet without even chewing! I arrive at the vets with the lovechild of Hannibal Lecter and a daemon and while waiting have to deal with a very bombastic Chi called Henri (with an i not y, I heard them checking in ahead of me) on a flexi lead whose owner (mid 20's, very Essex lad so tight trousers, smart shoes, no socks, TOWIE style) thought it hilarious to let Henri with an i charge up to a 55kg dog yipping furiously. I was momentarily proud of my dog as he ignored Henri. I however, very snootily told Henri's owner to get his dog under control NOW or it was liable to be the hor's d'oeuvre before the vet main course...wasted on him it was
Anyway, the vet comes out to call us into the consulting room - she stayed at a safe distance, she's seen us before and insisted on doing an examination that time - and the bloody dog threw himself on the floor and lay there WAGGING HIS TAIL. Thump, thump, thump on the floor. If he was stoned (he used to get 5 xanax before going to the vets. Pointless so the vet and I decided that we'd be better off taking the xanax ourselves, sod the dog) I could understand it. But he was a chemical free zone at this point. Instead we have people pointing and laughing, even coming out of the other waiting room to point and laugh while I tugged the lead, demanded a stand even offered a treat. No, the tail wagged faster the more people watching...and laughing. The tail meant that I couldn't even pretend that he'd collapsed and demand the 4 nurse stretcher. I'm sure the waggy tail is the reason that Rottweilers were docked- that and their sense of humour. So after 5 (felt like 50) minutes of pulling the lead I applied toe to rear and persuaded him off the floor. Nobodies laughing now, they're all on speed dial to the RSPCA and the tuts are practically a crescendo. For the avoidance of doubt, I did not boot him I just poked his bum with my foot. The dog then tried to cock his leg on the scales and when growled at (I can really growl) tried to hit the deck again. So he got dragged into consulting room by collar and harness. I should mention that I'm recovering from a fractured shoulder and vertebrae after a fall at the moment so it wasn't easy and for some odd reason the vet and nurses weren't volunteering? Anyway, KC completed by backing the dog into a corner, vet handing me the syringe and I squirted it up his nose. She signed it off in his vacc record. Now that we're leaving the speed and uprightness is heading towards 60 mph and there was a minor battle when I insisted on stopping and paying. I'm good like that.
Today we went to the park. This is a dog who has a great recall, ignores other dogs, doesn't chase squirrels, sticks or balls. Except today, he robbed a ball - in fairness, it was thrown under his nose - and would.not.give it back. He closed his jaws with it in his mouth and I couldn't get a finger in between his teeth to prise them open. I offered treats, another ball, the remainder of my breakfast. Nope, no way Jose, nada. He was keeping the ball. I've agreed to return it to the owner next time I see her. The dog dropped it the minute he got in the door and hasn't looked for it since. There is a doddle of some description currently pining for his very favourite ball. This afternoon I'm in the front room watching the racing and the dog comes back in the dog flap. Bit of rolling around on his bed and the sofa and rug in the kitchen but that's not unusual and he strolls into the front room. He stinks. He's rolled in fox shit in the garden (he doesn't chase those either, usually the cat sees them off but, yanno, it's been cold and wet so she's signed off duty) and spread it around the soft furnishings. Hot wash on and as the dog wouldn't fit into the washing machine had go to find the hose in the shed that I very carefully put away a couple of weeks ago. Bath completed and spent an hour blow drying the dog as wet dog in this weather smells nearly as bad as fox shit. Rug is now scrubbed and drying damply on the floor. Bed and sofa throw on airer. I need a shower. Dog says he needs to sleep on the good sofa in the front room...coffee table on the sofa to stop that idea dead.
Soooooo, would anybody like a dog for Christmas??? I'll pay for the courier.
Yesterday most beloved hound had to go for his KC booster. So like any trip to the vet requires, out comes his harness, dogmatic and ultra muzzle - he knows he can eat a whole vet without even chewing! I arrive at the vets with the lovechild of Hannibal Lecter and a daemon and while waiting have to deal with a very bombastic Chi called Henri (with an i not y, I heard them checking in ahead of me) on a flexi lead whose owner (mid 20's, very Essex lad so tight trousers, smart shoes, no socks, TOWIE style) thought it hilarious to let Henri with an i charge up to a 55kg dog yipping furiously. I was momentarily proud of my dog as he ignored Henri. I however, very snootily told Henri's owner to get his dog under control NOW or it was liable to be the hor's d'oeuvre before the vet main course...wasted on him it was
Anyway, the vet comes out to call us into the consulting room - she stayed at a safe distance, she's seen us before and insisted on doing an examination that time - and the bloody dog threw himself on the floor and lay there WAGGING HIS TAIL. Thump, thump, thump on the floor. If he was stoned (he used to get 5 xanax before going to the vets. Pointless so the vet and I decided that we'd be better off taking the xanax ourselves, sod the dog) I could understand it. But he was a chemical free zone at this point. Instead we have people pointing and laughing, even coming out of the other waiting room to point and laugh while I tugged the lead, demanded a stand even offered a treat. No, the tail wagged faster the more people watching...and laughing. The tail meant that I couldn't even pretend that he'd collapsed and demand the 4 nurse stretcher. I'm sure the waggy tail is the reason that Rottweilers were docked- that and their sense of humour. So after 5 (felt like 50) minutes of pulling the lead I applied toe to rear and persuaded him off the floor. Nobodies laughing now, they're all on speed dial to the RSPCA and the tuts are practically a crescendo. For the avoidance of doubt, I did not boot him I just poked his bum with my foot. The dog then tried to cock his leg on the scales and when growled at (I can really growl) tried to hit the deck again. So he got dragged into consulting room by collar and harness. I should mention that I'm recovering from a fractured shoulder and vertebrae after a fall at the moment so it wasn't easy and for some odd reason the vet and nurses weren't volunteering? Anyway, KC completed by backing the dog into a corner, vet handing me the syringe and I squirted it up his nose. She signed it off in his vacc record. Now that we're leaving the speed and uprightness is heading towards 60 mph and there was a minor battle when I insisted on stopping and paying. I'm good like that.
Today we went to the park. This is a dog who has a great recall, ignores other dogs, doesn't chase squirrels, sticks or balls. Except today, he robbed a ball - in fairness, it was thrown under his nose - and would.not.give it back. He closed his jaws with it in his mouth and I couldn't get a finger in between his teeth to prise them open. I offered treats, another ball, the remainder of my breakfast. Nope, no way Jose, nada. He was keeping the ball. I've agreed to return it to the owner next time I see her. The dog dropped it the minute he got in the door and hasn't looked for it since. There is a doddle of some description currently pining for his very favourite ball. This afternoon I'm in the front room watching the racing and the dog comes back in the dog flap. Bit of rolling around on his bed and the sofa and rug in the kitchen but that's not unusual and he strolls into the front room. He stinks. He's rolled in fox shit in the garden (he doesn't chase those either, usually the cat sees them off but, yanno, it's been cold and wet so she's signed off duty) and spread it around the soft furnishings. Hot wash on and as the dog wouldn't fit into the washing machine had go to find the hose in the shed that I very carefully put away a couple of weeks ago. Bath completed and spent an hour blow drying the dog as wet dog in this weather smells nearly as bad as fox shit. Rug is now scrubbed and drying damply on the floor. Bed and sofa throw on airer. I need a shower. Dog says he needs to sleep on the good sofa in the front room...coffee table on the sofa to stop that idea dead.
Soooooo, would anybody like a dog for Christmas??? I'll pay for the courier.
