Retirement/Broodmare loan

Char0901

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**Also posted in 'Breeding'**

Please bare with me while I write this as I have a lot of conflicting thoughts going around my head.

I have a 14 year old mare that I used to showjump with. I put her in foal last year as I wanted to move up a step in showjumping with another horse (now sold) whilst she was at the stud she lost a lot of condition, got mud fever on every leg and developed lymphangitis in one of her hind legs. This was treated but nothing worked.
Last winter was terrible, not helped by the dreadful weather. She was turned out 24/7 but as her mud fever got so bad we bought her in. Her leg would swell if she was in the field but would swell just as much if she were left in. Even out during the day and in at night didnt help. We cleaned her leg regularly and bandaged it. Followed all vets instructions to no avail. Some days it was so bad, she could barely walk and we thought we had lost her on a few occasions. We did our best for her because she was pregnant.
She's a very well mannered mare and would never kick but it got to the point where she was so miserable and in so much pain when we were trying to clean it up it was better off left.
She had her foal in May (2013) and is a brilliant mum and she's loving it. She's out 24/7 again now with her baby and her leg is a lot better. There are bad days and her leg is always a little bigger than the others but she's not been lame with it for months.
We didnt put her in foal again as at the time she was so bad, the plan was to have we PTS when the foal is weaned.
Now she's so much better in comparison to 6 months ago, but she could be just the same when the winter months come and I don't want to put her through that again.
On the other hand I have now left it too late to put her in foal for next year so it's also too late to put her on loan as a Broodmare. This in itself has a lot of issues as she's not easy to look after (regarding her leg, needs extra feed, looses weight quickly.) I can't imagine finding someone who would do that for a horse on loan.
I have also looked at retirement homes for horses and some are perfect for the kind of care she needs but then it's the expense.
I am keeping her foal and was in a much better financial situation last year.
Selling either of them is out of the question, so is having her PTS just because I can't afford it.

Any advice/guidance/recommendations of any of the things I've said would be hugely apparetiated.
I'm at a loss of what to do.
Thanks in advance.
 
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