landyandy
Well-Known Member
how would you tell someone that they are too heavy for their horse, i wouldn't really know how to word it without offending
rider too heavy
- Thread starter landyandy
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Pearlsasinger
Up in the clouds
TBH unless the horse is yours, I would MYB.
skint1
Well-Known Member
I have a similar issue, I find it hard to tell people not to start this boring no win conversation again, I don't really know how to word it without using lots of swears and hand gestures.
Pearlsasinger
Up in the clouds
Truly, the only circumstances in which I can think that it would be my business to tell someone that they are too heavy for a horse are
a) if it were my horse
b) if I had gone with them to view a prospective purchase
In both those cases, I would say" the horse is not a suitable build for you - you need something chunkier"
c) if I were judging them in a class, when I would probably try to be tactful and say "I'm sorry the horse is a good example of the type/breed and you ride well but unfortunately you are not a good combination. You might be more comfortable on a horse of a heavier build".
d)If they asked for my opinion about their own horse
You should always try to leave any-one you criticise with their dignity intact
a) if it were my horse
b) if I had gone with them to view a prospective purchase
In both those cases, I would say" the horse is not a suitable build for you - you need something chunkier"
c) if I were judging them in a class, when I would probably try to be tactful and say "I'm sorry the horse is a good example of the type/breed and you ride well but unfortunately you are not a good combination. You might be more comfortable on a horse of a heavier build".
d)If they asked for my opinion about their own horse
You should always try to leave any-one you criticise with their dignity intact
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alainax
Well-Known Member
Exactly as Pearlsasinger says, and additionally possibly if it was an extreme wellfare case - like the video of the adult lady on the tiny pony that was doing the rounds. However I am sure that is an extreme.
There are lots of riders who have an unsuitable mount, but there are also a vast amount of people who simply cannot judge by looking at a combination what is suitable and what is not. I have seen some really round obese looking ladies, who weigh 11stone, and perfectly fine to ride many horses - but due to the way they look, people judge them to be much heavier than they are. And vice versa - some people carry their weight extremely well, and you would never believe for one instance that they are 16 stone...
So unless you know exactly how much this person weighs, and how much the horse can take ( which is subjective) then I would stay well out. The only real situation would be if it were you mum or close family if you know how much they weigh, riding a horse you know is just unsuitable, then it might be an idea to advise them in a dignified manner.
There are lots of riders who have an unsuitable mount, but there are also a vast amount of people who simply cannot judge by looking at a combination what is suitable and what is not. I have seen some really round obese looking ladies, who weigh 11stone, and perfectly fine to ride many horses - but due to the way they look, people judge them to be much heavier than they are. And vice versa - some people carry their weight extremely well, and you would never believe for one instance that they are 16 stone...
So unless you know exactly how much this person weighs, and how much the horse can take ( which is subjective) then I would stay well out. The only real situation would be if it were you mum or close family if you know how much they weigh, riding a horse you know is just unsuitable, then it might be an idea to advise them in a dignified manner.
my bfg
Well-Known Member
Very much agree with you alainax, when I worked at a trekking centre we often asked folk to step on a set of scales (in private) if we thought their build suggested they had fibbed about being under our upper weight limit, everyone came in under it often by a couple of stones.
I would only comment if I thought it was a welfare issue, but would try to put it politely like commenting on the horses build and asking the rider what they thought its maximum weight limit was and hope it may guilt trip them into re-considering riding that particular horse if they were over that weight.
I weigh more than I look but am under the weight myself and my vet decided was ok for my mare now she's getting older, I'm still dieting though as I'm currently not as slim as I should be, but if someone even casually suggested I was to heavy for my mare I would worry that much I would stop until I had lost more weight.
I would only comment if I thought it was a welfare issue, but would try to put it politely like commenting on the horses build and asking the rider what they thought its maximum weight limit was and hope it may guilt trip them into re-considering riding that particular horse if they were over that weight.
I weigh more than I look but am under the weight myself and my vet decided was ok for my mare now she's getting older, I'm still dieting though as I'm currently not as slim as I should be, but if someone even casually suggested I was to heavy for my mare I would worry that much I would stop until I had lost more weight.
Barnacle
Well-Known Member
Oh this one's difficult... I agree with most of what's been said though.
I think I tend to look larger than I am (I weigh 8 and a half stone) just because I get cold easily and pile on the layers! I can imagine people thinking I'm abusing some of the smaller ponies I "test ride"...
Unless you know the precise circumstances, I wouldn't judge. You may be completely wrong about the situation and/or have misjudged the person's weight.
If you do have a "right" to say something (e.g. it's your own horse!), the suggestions above sound like really good ones. There are some very tactful people on this forum! And I think it definitely pays to not be insulting in this context!
I think I tend to look larger than I am (I weigh 8 and a half stone) just because I get cold easily and pile on the layers! I can imagine people thinking I'm abusing some of the smaller ponies I "test ride"...
Unless you know the precise circumstances, I wouldn't judge. You may be completely wrong about the situation and/or have misjudged the person's weight.
If you do have a "right" to say something (e.g. it's your own horse!), the suggestions above sound like really good ones. There are some very tactful people on this forum! And I think it definitely pays to not be insulting in this context!
dreambigpony
Well-Known Member
I would never comment unless I felt it was a welfare issue. If someone told me I was too heavy for my horse, I would be extremely upset. Looking at me, you wouldn't know I suffer majorly with food. I was diagnosed with anorexia a few years ago. Now fully weight restored but I still have issues with food and weight, this person could potentially be in a similar situation and I would hate to hurt someone like that.
I don't like the idea that people assume overweight people don't know they are heavier etc.
We have mirrors, we have scales, we know what clothes size we are, someone would know if they are too heavy for the horse. Plus people distribute weight differently. I weigh the same as a relative but look about 3 stone lighter due to our shapes. I don't see how it could be appropriate to comment on unless it was a welfare case.
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