Riding again after loss of horse

S

Soup Dragon

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I had my pony of almost 23 years pts in August and since then have no interest in riding.
I am lucky enough to have people down my stables who are happy to exercise theirs - the main pony I was riding before the loss of mine.
My question is should i just arrange a time to ride and that will re-ignite my interest or should I wait until I actually feel like I want to ride again?
I have been riding for most of my life but the loss of my pony has really affected me.
In my heart I know I will ride again at some time but also know it will be hard.
Not sure whether to make myself ride or hope the inclination comes back in time.
Don't think I will ever own another but not ruling it out.
Just after people thoughts as to how to kick start the love of riding again.
I am happy to go the the stables to see people but tend to avoid the horses.
 
I had my horse for 15 years and she was pts a year ago next week. I vowed I'd never have another and actually gave up riding when she went. I sold literally everything and just did "normal" things like shopping and going out for lunch and to the pub. It was fun for a few months but then a friend of mine tricked me into riding hers as she had two to exercise. I loved it, and started riding him once a week. Fast forward to now and I still don't want another...yet, but never say never. I am now a sharer and I love it. I've got my mojo back and am back out competing. It's not the same, I miss the bond I had with mine, but I'm having fun. I would say don't feel like you have to ride, you've all the time in the world. The break really helped me and now I don't know how I ever thought I could give up horses.
 
I lost my mare of 16 years a month ago and whilst she'd been retired for about 18 months and I had another riding horse, I've found it difficult to motivate myself to ride. I potter a lot with the two I have - grooming etc, but haven't really yet got back into enjoying riding as much. I'm not sure if it's guilt (for enjoying myself with her replacement) or that I just feel a bit rubbish. It takes time I think.
 
I lost my beautiful boy on Sept 2nd to colic. I was away at the time and feel incredibly guilty because I was not there for him when he needed me. I know he was being cared for perfectly and it was over in an hour so I could not have done anything but still have the "what ifs" running around my head.
I can never replace him, he was my amazing horse of a lifetime but I am now looking for another. I have another horse and he is lonely and sad and needs a companion and I need more than one in my life. I find it helps me get over my loss and gives me a distraction. I am the same with the dogs and cats. I am never trying to replace the ones I lost but fill a hole.
 
So sorry OP, and all of you who have lost your loves.

I gave up riding for 25 years after the horse I loved died, and now I think that is a shame. If I had gone near a horse and spent enough time around them sooner I would probably have ridden earlier - so I'd say get on board thinking you are doing your friends a favour by exercising their pony; and then see how you feel. If it leaves you cold, fine, leave it for a few more months. If you enjoy it then do it again sooner. It is not disrespecting your much loved pony and it is not about replacing them. Hugs x x
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. ((((((hugs))))))
There is no right or wrong answer here. You have to do what is right for you.
When I lost my belovid Lucy I already had Herbie but for a month after loosing Lucy I couldn't even look at him. He wasn't my mare and he would never replace her I did eventualy snap out of it.
3 months later I was given Merryn as well.
I love both my boys dearly but they will never replace Lucy and I'd never expect them to.
As I said give yourself time and do what is right for you. Don't force yourself to do anything as you may end up giving up all together when all you needed was alittle more time.
 
Firstly SD I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Thankfully I've not been through this and hope not to for some time since the wee guy is my rock!

I did however lose my human soulmate 8 weeks ago tonight and what I've learnt in that time is to trust my own instincts and do what I think is right for me at any given time. Grief is absolutely individual to each of us, and what one person thinks we need might be spot on whilst another may be way off - suggestions don't hurt but if it feels wrong at that time it probably is, and I learnt this the hard way! I just take a day at a time - if I feel like doing something I do it, and if I don't I leave it and don't beat myself up for feeling that way.

Much love xx
 
I had my pony pts on 11th Aug. I have another horse who is at a lovely retirement livery which on a farm which is perfect for him but means I can't see him every day like I used to.

I'm lucky to have a friend who has a pony I can ride - I've only ridden 3 times since I lost my pony, but I sort of made myself do it quite quickly as I knew I'd struggle otherwise which was important for me. I've been riding since I was 11 which is 31 years ago, and horses have always been such a big part of my life that it feels really strange now.

I think you just need to tAke time. My friends pony is lovely - very sweet and uncomplicated to ride, but I miss my boy awfully. To go for a long ride together again would be the best thing ever - so for now, while nothing else will match that feeling of just him and me out in the sunshine, ill just ride occasionally.

Give yourself time and don't force yourself to ride if you don't want to.
 
Our girl was pts a couple of weeks ago - one of the hardest, most heartbreaking decisions I've ever had to make. She was mainly ridden by my OH but was old and had been retired for 4 years - we'd owned her 17 years.

I do have another horse so it's business as usual for me but OH has shown no interest in riding again or owning another horse. I have not pressured or mentioned it - it has got to be his decision but... it makes me so sad :( We used to ride out together, compete, look after them and have so much fun. We'd go to YHL and spend tonnes of money on stuff... which we didn't need but bought anyway - it was me, OH and the horses against the world and we always came up smiling... but now it's all gone. I do hope he has a change of heart.

OP - take your time and don't rush back - am sure you'll ride again in time, the love of horses never really leaves us... I hope :) xx
 
I lost my girl just over a year ago. She'd been retired for some time beforehand but I was lucky enough to have other horses to ride in the meantime. Towards the end of my time with her I lost all interest in riding. I very much felt that if I couldn't ride her I didnt want to ride at all. I swore up and down that I would never have another after her. I loved the bones of her and making the decision to pts nearly killed me. I really don't want to go through that ever again.

I lasted a month without horsey contact. I had to be around them a bit as I'm a hoof trimmer (only part time, very small number of clients) and I didn't want to let them down. One of my clients was going away for a few days and offered me her horse to ride. I'd ridden her in the past and thought it was worth a try to see if I felt anything. Whilst I didn't really enjoy it at the time, and broke down in tears on the way home, that was the first night all month that I slept decently. Another friend offered their horse and I took them up on it as an experiment. This time I did enjoy myself to some degree, and again I slept properly. It was at about this time I decided it was worth it just to get some decent rest. I think I just need the activity, fresh air and something to get out of bed for.

I have a 5yr old now and he's lovely but I could quite cheerfully just brush him and fuss him and not ride. He's young and green, and a bit of a handful at times. Because I hadn't ridden for so long, and I was so used to my girl, he came as a bit of a shock and I spent a good few months feeling pretty scared of him. Fortunately we've worked through that and I do enjoy riding for the most part, but he's not yet at the stage where I can just hop on and disappear off hacking for hours, on our own, like I used to with my old girl and I really miss that.

It's hard, and only you know what is right for you. If you can test the water and think that's something worth doing, then I would do so, but I wouldn't advise rushing back into horse ownership.

If I'm really honest, I think if I'd just hung in there for longer I would have got past the not knowing what to do with myself stage, and maybe wouldn't have got another one. I could probably have picked up rides on other peoples horses (it's what I did before getting my girl) if I'd really wanted to. My bank account would be better off for it, and possibly my own mental health! I am starting to love my little pony though, and I'm sure in a few years we'll be out enjoying ourself but it isn't easy.
 
RoughcutDiamond said:
Firstly SD I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Thankfully I've not been through this and hope not to for some time since the wee guy is my rock!

I did however lose my human soulmate 8 weeks ago tonight and what I've learnt in that time is to trust my own instincts and do what I think is right for me at any given time. Grief is absolutely individual to each of us, and what one person thinks we need might be spot on whilst another may be way off - suggestions don't hurt but if it feels wrong at that time it probably is, and I learnt this the hard way! I just take a day at a time - if I feel like doing something I do it, and if I don't I leave it and don't beat myself up for feeling that way.

Much love xx
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I'm so, so sorry . . . please continue to look after yourself.

P
 
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