Riding Lessons at home

[Blackhawk]

I fell off showjumping five years ago and since then have not had the bottle to jump. I know it sounds stupid, and I know that my fear has really no grounding. Nothing else in my ability has been hindered except my ability to point a horse at a jump.

So I emailed a few instructors on the BHS site. A few emailed back.

I'm TERRIFIED. Should I try to overcome this, or just give it time, or possible just never jump again? I haven't actually emailed any of them back yet.

I should mention I have fallen off since then, and been bolted with, trampled on, and all the other usual horsey things we go through on a regular basis.

I'm also afraid that an instructor would try to force me to do things, as one did after my fall until I fell to pieces.

Any thoughts? Has anyone else tried to overcome jumping fears?

 

[miamibear]

I havent tried to over come jumping fears but i am terrified of jumping and poles. I would NEVER go over ground poles.

My instructor was sympathetic and started with one, gave me little choice but knew it was something i could cope with and that the horse would do it without thinking twice. Before long i was doing trotting poles.

I think you will be supprised how much a little bit of sucess and faith in yourself will help you.

Im not saying it will come over night and its something you will need to work on but dont give up, at least give it a try.

Do you have any good friends that could help you get set off with it, someone you totally trust, thats what helped me, i totally trusted my instructor and knew she wouldnt force me to do something if i was unsafe.

Have you thought about TFT, a lot of people rave about it!

 

[Blackhawk]

Thanks for the reply.

I did have a friend put a pole on the ground between two wings but I was in bits and couldn't bring myself to do it.

I try to think about WHY I'm afraid, but I can't seem to figure it out.

I'm afraid of using an instructor, because one I used after my fall was much the same as the instructor in the other 'riding lessons' thread and reduced me to tears.

I know it's daft as the horse I was competing before was a young horse and it was an accident. Not something that will be repeated again I'm sure.

 

[Parkranger]

At the end of the day don't beat yourself up about it. Plenty of people don't enjoy jumping and find that they excel as a rider at other things......mangobiscuit is excellent on the dressage/flatwork side (although she won't admit it half the time) whereas my love is in jumping (although I've got a long way to go to get back to my teen ability!)

You need to decide if it's something you really want to do or whether it's something you FEEL you should do.

 

[RunToEarth]

I came off in february, a very very messy accident in my arena. To this day I dont actually know what happened, we were jumping a piddley jump, seriously not big. He just didnt land, until he was in a heap on the floor, and I landed face first, knocking myself out, breaking my nose and my tooth, with two lovely black eyes. I spent a night in hospital and the next day I was asked to rest. I asked my mum to exercise my horse, as I knew I had a teamchase in two days. Mum didnt want me to do it and I was advised not to, guess its just me, im silly, I was driven to do it, and we came 7th, although my teammates thought I was mental. Accidents can happen anywhere. Everybody moans at me for doing these silly things, but look, I fell off over a 2ft fence. Only you can get yourself into the frame of mind to jump, you actually need to want to jump it, otherwise you wont...

 

[Parkranger]

[ QUOTE ]
Only you can get yourself into the frame of mind to jump, you actually need to want to jump it, otherwise you wont...

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly what I was trying to say!

 

[Rambo]

Only you can know if you want to jump again. I guess you do, otherwise you wouldn't be beating yourself up about not doing it ? All I can suggest is try and find yourself a very sympathetic instructor, and make sure they are fully aware of your fears

Good luck....flatwork wouldn't be for me, I love my jumping too much....but that doesn't mean everyone has to do it !

 

[miamibear]

I think you need to find someone very understanding and trustworthy that wont laugh and have a go. Go right back to step 1. Walking over the pole - no wings with them leading. I know it sounds stupid but it will help.

Then progress to on the lunge then be let off still no wings, then 2 poles on the ground, then little cones or tyres at the sides of the pole, then finally wings.

Its probably the wings you are associating with jumping and you need to try and programme your brain that you can do it and nothing bad is going to happen.

The only way to do this is by building up on good experiences, this means you have to do it but do it at a very easy level.

I wish i was nearer i would come and help you, its awful having lost your confidence but really please dont give up.

I wouldnt go as far as getting a new instructor yet, i think a trustworthy friend is probably as much as you can manage right now, but someone that will jump on to show you theres nothing to it too, once you have seen its easier to do yourself.

And NEVER feel stupid about your fear, everyone suffers with a loss of confidence at some point in their lives

 

[jacks_mum]

i came off when i was 15 broke my ribs, cracked a vertibra and broke my wrist - jumping. i have been terrified since. I finally plucked up the courage two years ago to have another go. i am now ok over 2' to 2'3" but can't go higher yet. my instructoe is a friend and is soooo patient with me, she even got me to do a hunter trial earlier this year!! which is a major acheivement for me (it took me 15 minutes to go round but i did it). i am just starting to enjoy my little jumping now and that was the aim for me. i'm not bothered about height, I just didn't want to freeze if faced with a log or a ditch when out hacking like I did before.

It took me 20 years to jump again, please don't let it dominate your riding like I did.

 

[SSM]

TFT - Cannot recommend it high enough - I can't tell you how it works, but it does!!!!!!!

 

[Pasha]

I agree with what everone else has said, but would also like to ask what it is about jumping that you are actually afraid of (if you know)? It maybe that you can pinpoint one thing that you're really scared of and work from that?

I had a long time off from jumping (hmm maybe 10 years) and completely lost my nerve.... I had a long hard think about it and decided it wasn't the actual going over a jump that scared me, it was more I couldn't trust my horse (who is no jumper I might add) to do it. I was scared of him refusing, not being confident enough to cope with it and thus ruining him or worse him tripping/falling over and us both being hurt.

The answer I found was to lunge him over a few small fences (with no rider) so I was confident he would do it and not fall over etc....

I would say start small - lead your horse over poles before you attempt to ride over them so that in your mind you know the horse will do it - one less thing to worry about

 

[Parkranger]

Or have some lessons on a jumping pony/horse - something that doesn't stop at anything!

 

[teapot]

I think the big key is finding a good understanding instructor.

I lost all my confidence (literally as in even getting on a horse) earlier this year and was even incredibly nervous just having a lesson at the yard I've been at 6yrs. Thankfully managed to get my lesson with my favourite instructor and she gave me a good talking too (not pushy at all, but highlighted some stuff that made me go ohh yeah). First lesson incidently was a jumping one as Clare felt I needed to get on and do something for my confidence rather than spend an hour getting a horse to go nicely. She started me off over trot poles and tiny x-poles, nothing major but even that was enough to get me feeling better as it were. Confidence is still not what it was but is growing (just a pain that I havnet ridden for nearly 3 months

)

Anyway, I've rambled - try a couple of the instructors out - a good one is worth their weight in gold. And if they don't understand your situation or are pushing you too far too quickly - then they're not worth it.

Or have you thought about having a lesson at a good yard on a schoolmaster type?

 

[Blackhawk]

Thanks for all the replies everyone! I have used TFT once but without much success. However it was when I was highly stressed during my RAF selection, so possibly would never have worked

I want to be able to jump as I loved it when I did. I had been offered two horses to compete and it looked like I could have done well at it until my accident.

Also, I don't want to have this niggle knowing that there is something I am afraid of doing.

 

[Blackhawk]

I have no idea what I'm afraid of to be honest. What happened was that I was riding a course of jumps and it was all fine. I approached a vertical and had a refusal. Before I could turn the horse leapt the jump unexpectedly I was thrown off, hit the deck, trampled and broke my wrist and did some damage to my ligaments.

Not the worst story by far, but I think my fear now is a horse doing it again. I've tried again on different horses but with no success yet.

 

[Blackhawk]

Thanks. I may just do that. The idea of an instructor fills me with dread at the minute. I have this idea that they'll shout at me and belittle me. Daft I know.

I think you're right about it being the wings. ground poles aren't a problem for me.

I'm not giving up just yet. I'd love to compete again in showjumping but I'll be taking it one step at a time until then!

 

[Oaksflight]

TFT, it's done me wonders. Mine throws in dirty stops all the time, often resulting in me hitting the deck. I still get a bit nervous once we get over 3 foot with mine, but I can seperate my nerves from when i'm on a completely different horse, if that makes any sense. Meaning I'd try jump my friends TB anything. Before I was nervous jumping anything, I can actually enjoy it again!

 

[Haflinger]

To put it simply, do you want to jump? Yes or No? Only you can decide that, but you have to want to do it if its going to work

Sorry if that came off as harsh, but its the only way I could really describe it!

 

[kirstyfk]

I am so nervous when it comes to jumping - but i love it so much! I go through stages of loving it to there is no way you are going to make me go over that 2' fence! I also have no idea what i scared of, apart from the fact that I WILL die! But you need to get yourself a good instructor, ask around try different ones you need to trust your instructor as much as you trust your horse! Don't be like my dad who hasn't had a lesson in god knows how many years because he is scared that they will tell him he is rubbish! - he's not.

Any way good luck and i hope it works out!

 

[spotty_pony]

I lost my confidence back in May when my pony tripped on landing over a little cross pole jump and I fell off and hurt my back. Nothing serious and I jumped it again straight afterwards, it was only when I started thinking about it later that I became worried. I said I never wanted to jump again. I didn't for a few weeks and then I started having private lessons with a sympathetic instructor at my yard. She started off helping me writh my flatwor and then had me popping over little jumps in trot and canter. I became more confident each time I did it. I also told her exactly what I was worried about - my pony refusing or stumbling and me falling off. This helped to because then my instructor could think of appropriate things to build up my confidence.

6 weeks later, (end of September) I was confident enough to go cross country training for my first time and me and my pony loved it!

this helped my confidence no end as there was so much adrenalin going through me!

I now have a lesson once a fortnight and we practise position work, flatwork and jumping exercises. I am currently jumping about 2ft3 - 2ft6 but my instructor is encouraging me to jump bigger again. (a hole bigger every week!

)

Sorry for the long post, my advice is really just get some lessons with a good instructor and go for it. You may well regret it if you don't. Good luck x

 

[4whitesocks]

TFT really worked for me - for both jumping and riding on the road - road fear came from rearing mare who would rear and spin whenever she got onto tarmac....not pleasant, and jumping from my last horse who was a complete b*gger and dumped me over a teeeeeny bounce fence (landed on my face on gravel, still have scars but I didn't even break anything and STILL lost my nerve)....TFt'd for both and while I was nervous on Sid when I got him (think that's the normal 'unknown' element - will he stop or throw me etc.) now that I have got to know him and trust him we're fine

Good luck with whatever you decide to do - BUT don't beat yourself up it...that will just make the problem bigger in your head - any instructor worth their salt will take on board your fears and any good instructor will take pride in helping you overcome it....