Ron's (non) Hunting Diary

[JenHunt]

Hunting? I think I've forgotten what that is!
The mother has not yet put any bedding in my stable, or clipped off my winter coat. I'm fit and raring to go, but I noticed yesterday that my stable has no roof tiles on it, and there's some strange contraption of poles and planks and things occupying my stable yard. So Tom and I are still out at night, with raincoats on, and having to take shelter in the barn when required.

But, then I heard mother complaining that the barn was broken.... if I remember what she and granddad were saying, the ridge pole (it's not a tent!!) got broken in the gales, and some of the sheeting has come off the back wall, and the insurance are arguing over it. Something about it being a million years old and asbestos, and over a certain height... most worryingly though, my hay is in there and might get wet, and my trailer is there too and something might break it.... Tom and I have been leaning on the gates that keep the trailer and the hay in, to see if we can get in to check on them, but no success yet.

So, I'm going to keep sulking until I can get into my stable, get clipped and get hunting.

laters, Ron.

 

[Happy Hunter]

haha! we are in a similar state down here. Penny keep taking me for Gallops to try and prove how fit she is!

 

[JenHunt]

yes we get that too... as well as marching everywhere, and storming up the hills.... and everytime he sees me in black jods you can see his face fall as he realises it's not hunting... again. And what's more, poor Tom gets it in the neck as a result!

 

[Mike007]

Hi there Ron, Bob the nota cob here . Glad to see that I am no longer the only computer literate horse here . I am desperately hoping to go dogging , sorry I mean hunting (its confusing ,you meet in a secluded carpark and have fun with some dogs ) Anyway your humans sound a pretty poor lot if they cant look after your grub and your wheels. I have a rather different problem, I hate to admit it but I inadvertently broke my human. He would love to go and watch hounds (not dogs ,not dogs) but is worried that I might get a bit carried away (as if I would .....OK its a fair cop, I would) .

 

[JenHunt]

Hi Bob,
what on earth did you do to your human?
Tell him that the best way to encourage you to calm down is to go hunting more often. I succeeded in this with the mother, we had ten good days hunting one season and I then started being really nice to her, she even let me go hunting in my snaffle rather than my double bridle after that.... so the next season I got 'carried away' again until we'd had about 9 days hunting, then calmed down again.... it's now ingrained in her mind that I need many days hunting to be truly enjoyable...

As for the trailer and the food.... Mother was reliably informed by granddad that we'll get the stables back next week, so I'm hopeful of being able to climb into my nice cosy bed sometime soon, which means we might get to be clipped and go hunting before Christmas. fingers crossed!!

Ron

 

[Gin O'Clock]

Dear Ron,

I think you may have a personality disorder and are, in fact, a show pony.
Why else would you not go hunting because where I come from, we are fully clipped, rugged and live outside 24/7. All of us. Even the skinny bitches (the ones that used to race and are throughbreds, darrrhhhling). We do get hay - it's just left in piles in he field and I get a bucket of hard feed every morning. Life is GREAT!
Out in the paddocks, we get as many rugs as we need to keep toasty warm and get to walk off all our aches and pains from the day's efforts [have you seen the heffalump I have to haul round all day?]. We have got stables but I only ever get to see them when I'm tied up outside to be clipped. I don't ever go inside, even after hunting.

I suggest you either get back to your showing friends and work on that daisy-topping trot of yours or if you are infact a hunter, remind your mother that you don't need a stable when clipped, just some half decent rugs.

Gin O'clock's Trusty Steed

 

[JenHunt]

Hi GOTS.....

what did you just call me!?! Mother says she'd love to have shown me in my younger days, except that my trot would offend most judges. I think she's just being rude - my trot is perfect for not drowning in bogs, and for covering everyone else in mud, what more could a hunter's trot need to be? She's had a narrow escape there, I've some good show ring avoidance techniques in my arsenal.

I've dim memories of living that sort of lifestyle, you know, out partying at all times of day and in any weather, but as a horse of many years I'm finding I enjoy the comforts of my stable more and more. Plus, in the stable I can't hear Tom babbling away like a eejit the whole time. I swear the muppet never sleeps, he barely stops talking to eat!!

Mother and I had an argument the other day because I wanted to go into my stable after a ride, and she was determined to turn me out again. She won in the end because quite honestly it's easier that way, but also I didn't fancy limbo-ing under the scaffolding, or sliding around on the bare concrete....

Ron

 

[Alec Swan]

Ron old chap, you know the bit about humans divorcing each other, or having a bash at trial separations? Right, here's what you do; you'll be kept in a shameful state, that's obvious, so all of us four legged compatriots, will offer support were you to simply leave. It's easily done, you just jump out of your field and then leg it to where ever you can find better and more suitable digs.

DON'T, whatever you do, report the situation to the rspca as you'll be confiscated and matters will only get worse. Do as we down here and others do, and take control of the situation and one which our staff seem unable to sort out. Us horses have 'Rights', so they tell us, and so it's time that we exercised them, or something.

We need a campaign, and my stable would make a suitable Campaign HQ. I even have an internet thingy which is attached to the back of my hay net, apparently.

Isaac.