Rubbish lesson, deflated and upset :(

russianhorse

russianhorse

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Soooooo

Had my lesson riding lessons today and it all just went horribly wrong

I kept sitting too forwards in trot

pony kept trying to p*ss off with me to stables

When p*ssing about with him, I'd lose my balance and then he'd loose his

I kept anticipating his massive bucks into canter so was fighting his head to stay up but in turn confused him

I could go on........ But it's depressing me further

Think I might have to stick with my old lad pootling across the countryside and then give up horses once he goes :(

....... And to top it off, was just googling the Internet for his previous advert that said he was well schooled ( for my instructor) to come across him at auction 2 years ago (sept 2011) that states he's a 2 year old. That means he cannot be 5 like his passport states :/ - which means as such a *****e rider, I won't be able to bring him on :(

Bah! :(
 
aaaaand breathe!

Firstly, hugs from me, I've been there a lot over the last year and it's rubbish, but with the right instructor things can and will improve.

Do you think your instructor is the right one for you? From your post it's hard to tell. I ask because my original instructor was nice, and seemed very good but I often walked away from lessons feeling I'd achieved nothing, and sad and frustrated. When I changed instructors (due to a change of yard) it completely revolutionised lessons for me. Yes my horse could still be a difficult naugty monkey, and my riding didn't magically improve, but she managed to make me feel like we'd achieved something each and ever time, and that really helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. In turn it made me more positive which has really helped both me and my horse :)
 
And breathe........ hugs. xx

I don't know the back story, but is this a new horse? Adjusting to a new one is hard, I know, I'm still doing it after a year. And if he's young, that is hard as well. Can you elaborate a bit more on your situation?

ETA ghostie and I came out with the same line!! :)
 
oh, and my original instructor made me perservere with canter even though my monkey bucked every time we cantered, which really dented my confidence. New instructor said there was no point in cantering until our trot was sorted, so we spent two months walking and trotting, and then when we cantered for the first time he was as good as gold :D He just wasn't balanced enough to go into canter smoothly, but once he got his balancce sorted in trot the canter issues went away too.
 
Yes, I would also agree about needing the right instructor (I changed mine at the beginning of this year to someone that suited me and my horse far more), but I don't know enough from what the OP has posted to know whether the instructor was a regular one or new to OP and horse.

Will your instructor ride your horse for you? Mine does sometimes when I am having an issue and then I get back on and it all happens a lot better.
 
Wow, if you want to guarantee that everytime you ride it goes to plan, then buy a bike. Seriously though, I had such a rubbish lesson last month that I had a complete confidence meltdown and thought about selling my lovely (but tricky) horse. When I'd picked myself up and had a lesson with someone else who gave me some positive feedback rather than a list of things I did wrong, i decided to keep the horse and ditch the trainer! You now know that your horse is younger and greener than you thought which probably explains why the lesson didn't go to plan. why not reassess your situation and decide on a forward plan. At least with a youngster you won't be inheriting too many issues from previous riders. If you don't think you have the experience/time to do the job properly, then why not sell the horse on and buy something with more miles on the clock. However, don't let one bad lesson knock you back so much, with horses it's always up and down, you just have to read some of the threads here but we all just keep on going because life wouldn't be the same without horses! Good luck, you're probably completely over it by now.
 
Thank you for all your replies :)

Bit of background: I've owned my older lad for 20 years. I inherited him at 4 and basically learnt to ride on him, so have never had any formal lessons. Kept him on DIY yards which never had schools so used to hack out and belt across fields for fun. Did a few "fun" shows with jumping ( nothing more than 3ft) and XC

Also was asked to hop on any naughty horse as I had balls of steel and could get them to do what I wanted

Fast forwards - had children, so self preservation entered my life and I stopped jumping completely

Moved away to the countryside where I have a field to myself

Was asked by a new friend to ride her piebald cob in September hacking. That was fine - he was as good as gold. Then friend got booted off her land and moved to closer to where I have my lad. Again, just a big field.

The friend decided she couldn't afford 2 ponies. Put this boy on loan a couple of times but he was returned. Tried to sell him to anyone - no care at all. She had also, prior to meeting me, moved the cons around loads

After he came back from loan for the last time (1-2 weeks- can't remember) I said I couldn't bear him being shoved around as he was a sweetie and that I would take him on, but buy next year when I can move him to my place. He was headshy, hated his hooves bring touched, kills you if you come near him with a spray etc etc and was very dead behind the eyes. It was really sad. Since I've looked after him, he really trusts me. He snuggles his head into my belly for a cuddle, he's easy to catch (comes running over most of the time, unless the grass looks more delicious :D) can to inch his feathers and pick out his hooves, and no longer headshy (with me)

Sooooo - I decided that as a he was a youngster I wanted to do it all correctly and have lessons on him and gain confidence to jump so eventually I could low level compete and just have fun basically - not feel like I've wasted him like my old lad who isn't properly "schooled"

So there you have my long tedious reply :D

How would I know if she's the right instructor for me? She hasn't offered to ride him, but I think she's had an injury ?
 
So he is a 4 year old, he has been passed around recently, may or may not have had much schooling now you are starting from scratch, that is how I read it.

You need to find an instructor who will go back to absolute basics with you, cantering in lessons will be later rather than sooner, this will give you foundations to build on and work with when you are on your own, it does not need to be boring at this stage it will be challenging to just get a really straight line, work on gaining his trust under saddle as much as you have on the ground.

It all takes time and will get better although there will be days you go backwards it is all part of the training process and even the bad days are a learning experience with horses.
 
Well good on you for taking him on and trying to do things properly :)

It's really hard to know whether an instructor is right, because certainly I didn't feel like my old one was 'wrong' until circumstances made me change and I thought 'wow, now THIS is what it's meant to be like'.

However, I would say that if your instructor doesn't leave you feeling positive then they may not be right for you. My lovely new instructor can make me feel positive even if what we set out to do in a lesson didn't work out and instead we had to spend the whole lesson sorting out walk/halt transitions or persuading my horse he isn't a giraffe. By the end of my lessons now I always feel that we've moved forwards, sometimes just by baby steps, but forwards nonetheless.

My old instructor might have done exactly the same thing, but somehow her approach meant I'd have felt like a failure rather than proud of what we had achieved - does that make any sense?!

russianhorse said:
Thank you for all your replies :)

Bit of background: I've owned my older lad for 20 years. I inherited him at 4 and basically learnt to ride on him, so have never had any formal lessons. Kept him on DIY yards which never had schools so used to hack out and belt across fields for fun. Did a few "fun" shows with jumping ( nothing more than 3ft) and XC

Also was asked to hop on any naughty horse as I had balls of steel and could get them to do what I wanted

Fast forwards - had children, so self preservation entered my life and I stopped jumping completely

Moved away to the countryside where I have a field to myself

Was asked by a new friend to ride her piebald cob in September hacking. That was fine - he was as good as gold. Then friend got booted off her land and moved to closer to where I have my lad. Again, just a big field.

The friend decided she couldn't afford 2 ponies. Put this boy on loan a couple of times but he was returned. Tried to sell him to anyone - no care at all. She had also, prior to meeting me, moved the cons around loads

After he came back from loan for the last time (1-2 weeks- can't remember) I said I couldn't bear him being shoved around as he was a sweetie and that I would take him on, but buy next year when I can move him to my place. He was headshy, hated his hooves bring touched, kills you if you come near him with a spray etc etc and was very dead behind the eyes. It was really sad. Since I've looked after him, he really trusts me. He snuggles his head into my belly for a cuddle, he's easy to catch (comes running over most of the time, unless the grass looks more delicious :D) can to inch his feathers and pick out his hooves, and no longer headshy (with me)

Sooooo - I decided that as a he was a youngster I wanted to do it all correctly and have lessons on him and gain confidence to jump so eventually I could low level compete and just have fun basically - not feel like I've wasted him like my old lad who isn't properly "schooled"

So there you have my long tedious reply :D

How would I know if she's the right instructor for me? She hasn't offered to ride him, but I think she's had an injury ?
Click to expand...
 
Thanks for the extra info - not tedious! :) In reality you aren't all that different to me, although I got the dressage bug with my old mare so have had quite a few lessons. But I had quite a few years' break from proper riding - children, old horse getting older etc then got my young horse last year. Rather than retype everything, I'm going to link a previous thread I wrote a few weeks back. But the main themes I would say are get some lessons on a school master (riding school), lunge lessons in particular and lots of work without stirrups etc - concentrating on your position and confidence. If possible get someone experienced to ride your youngster to help him as well. Then gradually get it back together. Although I'd like to think I've got my act together with my boy, I still find it useful to have the odd lesson on something else. Hope that helps.

My other thread (which was about camp, but the pre-amble is what you should read): http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=608074

Good luck. :) x
 
No not tedious, vey helpful and informative. I think a good instructor can sum up a riding partnership quite quickly and decide what needs working on first but most improtantly instils confidence rather than sucks it out of you (the horse can do that without any help!) Regardless of what age you'd said the horse was, she should have been able to see a green unbalanced horse and pitched her lesson accordingly. You can ride even if you don't necesarily know how to school a horse, therefore perhaps working on rhythm in walk and trot might have been a good starter but I'm not an instructor! There are some brilliant books out there to help with schooling, I've got some and try to stick to using the suggestions in them otherwise I can be a bit aimless.You've obviously got a good relationship with this horse and I'm sure it will all work out for you.
 
Yes. Basically I've found from doing research on him, he started off at auction as a 2yo in sept 2011 From then he disappears but resurfaces again june 2012 from a teenage dealer who wants a "quick sale". He ends up as a swap with my friend and is then moved around a lot. Within 2 months or so, he has been back and forwards between Loan homes until I put a stop to it

He now has a sparkle in his eyes with me, whereas when he was well behaved riding, there was nothing behind his eyes

But the more he trusts me on the ground, the more naughty he's getting with me in the saddle :/

As instructor has been proved right in her suspicions he was younger than 5 (in his passport) she has said we will take him right back to basics (which a) I agree with and b) I'm almost relieved :D)

The last lesson I had, she said I was actually a pretty good rider and should have more confidence in myself. This time I felt deflated when she left ..... And came home and sobbed like a wuss :(
 
OP, well done for making such a difference to this pony's life, you must feel great that he now trusts you. Whether he's 4 or 5, he's a young, green pony who has had a poor start in life, so it's not going to be easy and a good instructor will be fully aware of that. You have come out of your lesson feeling rubbish, so it's time to find a new instructor. Ask around, find someone who will help and encourage you to work through the problems.
Good luck and stop beating yourself up ;)
 
Firstly have a little slap out of your self pity. You have done right by the horse so keep going and you will get there.

Pony loves you and is happy so don't worry about him. How did you choose your instructor? You need to find one you trust who explains why she is telling you to do things.

Sounds to me like you're doing awesome so stop feeling sorry for yourself, make sure you have right instructor and enjoy that cob!
 
There is a very true saying, ' A novice horse makes you look like a novice rider'
Young horses wobble so much that its very difficult to keep what balance you may have, they are slow to respond to aids as it takes longer for them to process them and then because their body is undeveloped for riding they fall into transitions.
Try and concentrate on what you have done right, thinking about things you could have done better just ingrains the bad bits. Concentrate on doing simple things well, walking in a straight line, halting square, responding and moving away from your leg. If things are getting a bit unbalanced and rushed go back into walk check your position and start again. Its a bit like them learning to ride a bike, as their balance improves they are able to maintain their balance for longer and then it gets easier to keep your balance.
I know you have his trust but he must also respect that if you ask him to do something as long he is capable and understands the aids he must do it. A horse will often get its
5th leg as it gets a bit older so things that they found hard to avoid they start saying no to. So keep things simple, with you in charge, avoid battles you can not win and if your instructor makes you feel pants find someone who gives you confidence in your ability. Sometimes an instructor is trying to get the perfect picture, you are obviously an effective rider and the lesson should teach you how to improve with the tools you have whilst teaching you new methods.
If you are worried about your position I know the College of East Anglia does lessons on their mechanical horse, which would enable you to strengthen your core muscles.
I am not that far from you so if you want some morel support pm me.
 
russianhorse said:
Soooooo

Had my lesson riding lessons today and it all just went horribly wrong

I kept sitting too forwards in trot

pony kept trying to p*ss off with me to stables

When p*ssing about with him, I'd lose my balance and then he'd loose his

I kept anticipating his massive bucks into canter so was fighting his head to stay up but in turn confused him

I could go on........ But it's depressing me further

Think I might have to stick with my old lad pootling across the countryside and then give up horses once he goes :(

....... And to top it off, was just googling the Internet for his previous advert that said he was well schooled ( for my instructor) to come across him at auction 2 years ago (sept 2011) that states he's a 2 year old. That means he cannot be 5 like his passport states :/ - which means as such a *****e rider, I won't be able to bring him on :(

Bah! :(
Click to expand...

Stick with it, I've got an awful forward seat, the only way I could keep my legs in place was to sit forward:o. First I worked on toes pointing forwards. I did this by always being conscious of having my inner calf touching the saddle flap and side of horse. Then leg position, I would tilt forward and find the correct position for my leg then straighten my back, finally I worked on heels. I did one at a time, strengthening each weakness before moving on to the next. I still tilt forward occasionally but it's much easier to correct now and far less often, my core strength is noticeably growing and I did short bursts of trot of six strides that I knew I could maintain position for, now I can trot the entire length of a canter path and only have to check my position a couple of times.
 
Can't advise how you go about it but I'm sure it will all come good with a little patience and a helpful coach :) I'm also struggling with a very green, but not so young, horse at the moment and I also end up feeling like I can't ride when yet another schooling session sees us trotting around on a horse imitating a giraffe :o but last week I realised that he now walks with his head at normal height and I'm crossing my fingers that he will soon start doing the same in trot and maybe, just maybe, he will eventually canter in a straight line without tieing his legs in knots. Guess we just keep on keeping on :p
 
I sympathise with you OP it can be so hard to get yourself out of a rut. I am feeling same with new horse have had for 6 months. Am at stage after a few falls and bad sessions that feel not doing horse justice. Despite people telling me not to worry and it takes time it can be so frustrating.
Would find a good instructor and take things slowly. Good luck
 
Not much more to add except you have had some pretty good advice from other posters. Give yourself a hug for ending the cycle of ever changing homes for such a young pony. take your time, change your instructor & give both of you more time. Possibly give him a little holiday? Just enjoy him on the ground & maybe restart him after the summer holidays.
good luck

LD
 
Chin up OP! Well done for rescuing the horse. Riding is supposed to be fun and if you are paying for lessons it should be even better!! So do think about a different instructor. Or at least speak to yours and tell them how you felt about the last lesson. The other thing I would really suggest (& I am like a broken record on this one!) is see if you can get a few lunge lessons on a riding school horse. It really helps your balance and to understand what you are doing with your body, which then helps when you get on your youngster.

Finally dont be downhearted- the point about having lessons is to improve, so you are not supposed to be perfect you know! Good luck. :)
 
I am an instructor and I would NEVER leave someone feeling like you are after a lesson.
Makes me sad reading your OP to be honest. There's always something good to focus on, think only of what you're good at, and how to improve the things you're bad at :)
 
Thank you so much for all your replies. It really gave me a lot to think about :)

Anyway yesterday my instructor said I should have a go at lunging him to see what he knows

So I did ........ And he went absolutely berserk :o. Galloping around and heading for home ( luckily I'm pretty strong so managed to stop and calm him before taking him back and finishing. I honestly don't know whether that was correct or not, but he was so upset that I didn't want to put him through it

Ive also noticed since "pushing" him with my instructor that today he trusted me less :(

So I've decided that I'm taking a huge step back and just do lots of handling, spending time with him and grooming

I've also just spoken to another instructor who thinks he's doing far to much too soon, but she's come highly recommended ( although more expensive) and said she is going to start him off totally from scratch when we're ready :)
 
I'm sure this story will have a very happy ending, your pony is lucky to have you. If you have to spend a bit more for a better instructor then it's money well spent and your pony will benefit from it. Better to go right back to basics and find out what the fellow knows and what he doesn't otherwise it's easy to think he's just being difficult when he's actually confused. Let us know how you get on and the best of luck in the future.
 
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