Sad subject WWYD?

[pistolpete]

Some of you will remember my sp spaniel diagnosed with cancer, she is now getting close to the end. I rescued her from Springer welfare 18 months ago and have very vaguely kept her old owner updated with how she is. Things like the odd photo, where we took her on holiday etc. She was given up as old owner wasn't walking thme, there is another one too! She worked long hours and reading between the lines, had just had enough of dog ownership.
Any how my question is do I let her know before she is put down that I am going to. I know I don't have to let her know anything but just wonder if I should. Head says don't bother heart not sure!
It's a horrible decision to make and OH has his head in the sand re time to do it too! Fed up!

 

[Maesfen]

TBH, I wouldn't tell them until after the event as I would hate for someone to try to pressurize me out of that decision which is bad enough without someone sticking their oar in.
It's never easy but with cancer it has to be a day early is better than a day late.

Keep strong.

 

[Tammytoo]

So, so sorry you are going to lose your dog.

The previous owner gave up her rights over her dog when she signed her over to the Springer charity. If you feel she should know, I would drop her a line afterwards.

 

[FubsyMog]

TBH, I wouldn't tell them until after the event as I would hate for someone to try to pressurize me out of that decision which is bad enough without someone sticking their oar in.

I'd agree with Maesfen on this. As you say, you have no obligation to let them know - it's your choice to do it as a kind of 'courtesy call.'

So sorry you are losing your dog.

 

[touchstone]

I'm so sorry you are losing your dog. I'd probably just send a card at christmas and say that sadly your dog is no longer with you due to her developing terminal cancer.

 

[Dobiegirl]

How very sad, Im with the others tell her afterwards, if you told her beforehand she may well upset you by suggesting other treatments. Im very sorry you are going through this, keep strong for your dog.

 

[MyBoyChe]

Can I answer from the old owners point of view. Slightly different scenario but many years ago I sold a horse, didnt really want too but personal situation meant I had no option. I often wondered how he was and if he was still with the girl I sold him too. Anyway, about 8 years after I sold him I had a letter out of the blue to say she had had him PTS, he had developed a rare neurological condition and despite her best efforts PTS was her vets recommendation. She was devastated, she was also worried I might be angry with her! I called her (she inc her number in the letter), thanked her for letting me know and assured her that I wasnt angry, just glad he had had a good life with her and she had made the right call at the end for him. So, to summarise, I would probably write after the event, the decision is yours and only yours, you are the owner and you know the situation best. The old owner may or may not be interested, as someone else has said you dont want anyone trying to influence your decision, it is hard enough as it is, but I do think it is thoughtful of you to let them know. Hugs to you at a horrid time.

 

[Burmilla]

I was in a similiar situation, but with my very much loved old Arabian gelding:the vet, osteopath and I decided that to pts on the "day too early rather than day too late" was best based on his increasing physical frailty, together with his view that he was still 3 rather than 23, and continuing to hoon around with his horsey mates, slip over and have problems with his stifle and pelvis when he got up and did it all over again! He always was the archetypical "Mad Arab".
Anyway, the end came as planned, peacefully and with great dignity. I was heartbroken, but relieved. I phoned the previous owner who twelve hears earlier, had decided that, as a stallion, he was of no further use to her, gelded him and sold him on. He fell on hard times and I came across him and owned him for eleven fun (!) filled years. I had kept in touch with her, having traced her as well as his breeder, a lovely lady, who sadly predeceased him.
Well, the previous owner shouted at me "how could you do that to him - he was my darling. i can't believe what you've just done! How dare you!" I tried to explain that the effects of arthritis in his pelvis, stifle and hind leg, although consistently and carefully supervised and managed by wonderful vet, farrier, osteopath, trainer, yard manager and me for the last four years, ( which she knew about) was now becoming untreatable. His ongoing comfort could not be assured, winter was coming and I did not want to risk the pain, fear and indignity of him slipping and not being able to get up. She refused to listen, shouted some more abuse and threw the phone down. I sat and cried, rather like I am now, remembering it more than two years on.
On the other hand, when the equally beloved old GSD went to an equally peaceful and dignified death a year ago, due to sudden onset kidney failure, her breeder from whom I had bought her 13 years previously, and kept in yearly contact, said she was so grateful to be told; I was the only owner from that litter who had kept in touch and that knowing what a happy and useful life she had led and that she had a peaceful, humane death with me there as she went to sleep meant a great deal to her.
The same as above occurred on the emergency pts of The Killer Burmese, aged 13, who had to be pts because of acute kidney failure. His breeder was lovely, and thanked me profusely, as we remembered together, through tears, the frightful capers he had got up to over the years - threatening local yachtsmen with evil stares and nasty claws and fangs as he stole the fried bacon out of their breakfasts as they watched in awful fascination was the least of it! A legend in their own mealtimes! He was a real character and much admired/ feared by all.
Reading this lengthy ( sorry for the ramble, folks, well done for getting this far,!) I think the bad reaction of Old Arabian's owner was informed by a degree, possibly, of guilt for the bad tinme he had between her selling him and me rescuing him. The GSD and Burmese cat had been with me all their long and cared for fun lives, and the breeders had nothing to reproach themselves or me for.