Selfish Rant

[Celestica]

Unlike a lot of lucky here people here I don't own a horse . I've tried my best to accept the fact that my life will be like this for another good years as my mom simply could not afford one as much as she'd love to. Since I'm in final year of school next year I'm not able to find a decent job to save up although I do have a part time job, save ALL pocket money, restrict outcome as much as possible which results in lack of meeting up with friends and enjoying myself etc. I will eventually save a good bit of money but something comes up that I have to spend it on and I'm back down to nothing again and it just feels like a mean cycle.

I've been trying to save to loan for a few weeks over summer and the reality of that is slipping beneath my feet faster and faster by the second and to be honest, I want to cry so bad over all of it. It's not that I want my own horse, I just want to be around horses more which I can't due to financial reasons and the distance of yards from my house. Seeing my friends putting up photos of their own horses on facebook doesn't help either but this constant cycle really just makes me want to give up on the one thing I ever really cared for because I feel like I'm never get there.

Sorry I had to get that off my chest, no one I know would understand why the thought of not getting to be around horses more/have my own would make me want to cry so much

 

[Ranyhyn]

Oh this made me sad. Wish you were closer, you'd be welcome to come and be with my motley crew whenever you wanted!
I know how you feel, I was there once when I was younger and it's bloody hard and so defeating.
When you say you "have" to spend your savings - is it really HAVE to? say if you put it in an isa/savings plan etc that you COULDNT touch, would you have gotten by without it?

 

[mulledwhine]

Have you considered a share?

Dont get upset, your time will come, and will be all the sweeter for wanting it so badly.

Chin up x

 

[rascal]

I might have 4 horses now but i was just like you at that age, i saved up and bought my own pony when i left school. Is there a rescue/riding centre where you could help out? Or could you find a horse to share? Or move here and give us a hand!!

 

[Luci07]

Been in your shoes. Finally got to have my own when I started work..and have not been without for nearly 30 years now....!

 

[Celestica]

Oh this made me sad. Wish you were closer, you'd be welcome to come and be with my motley crew whenever you wanted!
I know how you feel, I was there once when I was younger and it's bloody hard and so defeating.
When you say you "have" to spend your savings - is it really HAVE to? say if you put it in an isa/savings plan etc that you COULDNT touch, would you have gotten by without it?

Money that I have to spend is money given to my mom to help keep her chin above water at times, best friends birthdays and clothes to wear to school. I try to skint as much as possible but nothing seems to work. I was hoping to be able to afford it in college with a job but my college is at the other end of the city which I'll have to spend all my money on a car Thank you for saying I'd be allowed to come to yours, means a lot and wish I could

 

[Littlelegs]

Is there anyway you could help out your friends with their horses? Or even find a local riding school to help out at?

 

[Celestica]

Have you considered a share?

Dont get upset, your time will come, and will be all the sweeter for wanting it so badly.

Chin up x

I might have 4 horses now but i was just like you at that age, i saved up and bought my own pony when i left school. Is there a rescue/riding centre where you could help out? Or could you find a horse to share? Or move here and give us a hand!!

Been in your shoes. Finally got to have my own when I started work..and have not been without for nearly 30 years now....!

I've considered sharing, leasing, helping out at yards , rescue centres and everything! Everything seems to get to dead ends with me and feels like karma or fate is against me I honestly just feel like I'm living in Limbo until I get a horse/ the opportunity to be around them more. I was diagnosed with depression 2 years ago and that's when my mom saved loads to try get me back into riding after a break.(We were struggling with money and felt bad wasting it on me) I can't express how much horses helped me through dark times and now that I can't see them that much again any more I feel like I'm slipping away from everything and that I've no hope left.

 

[Jesstickle]

You will get there eventually and it will be wonderful. You sound like the kind of person who will make damn sure it happens. I know it doesn't help now but your responsible attitude to money and life will make you a great owner or sharer when you finally fulfil the dream.

If you have to buy a car for college perhaps at that point you will be able to get some more horsey time as you will be mobile then and can get to yards easier. Either those of your friends or you could volunteer for something horsey (RDA for eg) or even look for a horsey weekend job, even if it is just mucking out!

Good luck OP

 

[Ranyhyn]

It's really hard to catch a break, you sound like a lovely person - it's so nice to be there for your mum. I really respect you for that.
I don't know how old you are, but it does get easier as you get older. Once you can work full time it's a lot easier a prospect.
It was just me and my mum growing up and mum sometimes did herself out of things, in order for me to have my ponies, until it was no longer an option. I bought MY first for £600 which I had when I turned 16 from my gran and went from there til I had my first proper job and stupidly (please don't do this!) got a loan to buy a car a horse and a horsebox!!!

Now some 10 years later I finally caught a break and now we're really lucky that we live on a farm, i have three horses (all useless but hey ho!) and life is pretty easy from that POV. I hope you get some similar luck, it really sounds like you deserve it. xxx

 

[rascal]

You could put an advert in your local pet/feed/tack store and see if anyone needs help.

 

[Count Oggy]

36 and still waiting! Do what I did. Move next door to unhorsey in-laws, encourage them to buy for their kids, then take over the rides as the kids loose interest. (That's the winter BTW).

 

[Parker79]

Keep your chin up, depression is really rough. Horses will definately help and you are right to stay passionate about what you want.

When you worked with them...think about what it was that you loved so much, was it the riding, one on one time or was it a mixture, did the people around you help make you feel better? The reason I say this...owning a horse is amazing, but is also scary and can really get you down. I found that I NEED horses in my life, but I also need fantastic horsey people around me to share the ups and downs.

Dont give up asking around, youve probably already dont it...but try all the local tack shops, advert on Preloved, look for someone you can help in return for rides. The last thing you need is pressure and so finding a horse to share might be you best bet short term.

I waited til I was 21 and in full time work before buying mine, glad I waited, prior to this I loaned and shared in return for work or a contribution to costs. It offers you great experiences, will give you more knowledge for keeping your own and may help you to know what horse you will want when the time comes.

I agree with whoever it was that said you sound lovely, I too wish you could come and spend time with mine (altho neither can be ridden at the mo!)

PS Your not selfish! dont put yourself down!

 

[Zirach]

I had to wait until I was 30 before I could afford my own horse and took a job for money rather than satisfaction to pay for her. You will get there I promise. Depression is an awful thing and I understand your frustrations (you are not selfish and everyone is entitled to rant btw). Try and stay positive and keep looking for the right opportunity. I don't know where you are but you would be more than welcome to come fuss my mare and I am sure there are people in your area who would be grateful of a friendly helping hand. Hang on in there xx

 

[Always Henesy]

Aw sweetheart - have heart. You will achieve your dream.
Do you have any horsey groups on FB for you area of the world? We have several.
If you put an open hearted plea for horsey time on there, I am sure someone would come forward.
When I was 9 (many moons ago) - I was so desperate for a pony to play with. I got on my bicycle and rode for miles and knocked on every door where I could see horses in the field. I got free full use of my 1st pony (an 11.1hh welsh mountain) at weekends/holidays. I taught myself to ride.
I know that getting on a bicycle at 9 years old would be foolhardy these days (so much traffic and many dangers) - but if you want something bad enough you CAN get it.

Chin up....remember all good things come to those who wait. (In fact I should take my own advice )

 

[Shantara]

I'm kinda feeling in the same boat as you right now. I'm only 22, but I have wanted a horse forever! I've loaned a few ponies when I was young (parents paid for that) but now I'm on my own as far as paying for horse stuff goes.
Chin up We'll both get there eventually!

 

[Kitty B]

I don't think it is selfish at all. I've spent years and years waiting and wishing, and riding every horse that I possibly could; now my husband has given the okay to go ahead and start looking for the horse of my dreams next summer. While it can seem like forever when you're waiting, just imagine how wonderful it will feel when you finally have a horse of your own, and of all the experience you'll pick up along the way. Times get tough, but don't ever give up on your dream.

 

[mystiandsunny]

You have to see having your own horse as a goal you can work towards. I didn't have my own until I was 24, had been through school, university and post-grad, and had landed a job where I would be able to afford to keep a horse. It was well worth the hard work and my first horse was (and is) everything I could have wanted. Help yourself feel more positive about achieving this goal by:
- planning and deciding on a career that would definitely give you enough money for a horse on top of living costs
- working out what qualifications you need for the above career
- making yourself a plan of how you'll get there - so any work experience you can pick up, what you'll need to learn/do in the short and long term.
- then tick things off the list as you do them - each time you do that, you're one step closer to your goal. It will be so worth it when you get there!