selling horse - second thoughts?

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jimbojones

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When do you know if you are genuinely having second thoughts vs. Just feeling sad and nostalgic?

I've owned my horse for 9 years - he's my first horse. He taught me everything and he's a genuine saint.

The reason for sale is lack of time due to having a young family that I hope to grow in the next year or so. Horses just seem like a chore so much of the time now although I do still enjoy spending time with him.


I seem to change my mind on a near daily basis on whether to sell or not and now that I've got someone interested in him I'm doubting myself but then I worry if I decide not to sell I'll regret it in a months time as this potential buyer seems perfect.

I've just enjoyed a sunny blast through the stubbles and it makes me sad to think we'll never do that again but at the same time the thought of not being tied to the responsibility of a horse is so appealing!

Argh! Help!!!
 
Tough one. But never is a long time. I'm sure if you want to ride friends horses you can, and one day go back to having your own?

Are you nodding or shaking your head after reading that? I think that will be your answer
 
Thank you - yes I'll have plenty of opportunities to ride other horses - just not him. He's the only horse I trust and I know him so well.
 
Tricky. I don't have children so slightly different for me when my horse was PTS I was bereft. I've struggled for years to try and justify the cost of horse, time spent to myself (my husband is supportive) and thought part of me would enjoy the extra money, time to do other things.
I've since found out; I just done enjoy other things as much and the money just seems to get sucked into other expenses!
I've shared a fabulous horse for over a year and have really enjoyed having a horsey fix but I've just bought myself a horse (today in fact!). I missed having my own, I wasn't looking but one came along and I've found myself buying her.
As I say I don't have the guilt of money spent on horse could be going on children but what I am saying is don't underestimate the pull horses have over us horsey folk!
 
How old are your children? I have two 1 and 3. After the birth of the second I nearly sold my horse. Like you I had so much on my plate. I didn't have the physical, mental or emotional capacity for him. However now my youngest has stopped nursing and is sleeping through the night and my eldest had started preschool I am able to work it so I can ride 4x per week. Now my horse is my saviour! My excuse for me time. If I didn't have my horse when would I get time just me? Now I get up at 6am, ride at 6.30, home by 8.30. Other times I go at 9 after I have dropped off my eldest.
Those two hours all by myself with my horse set me up for the day. Honestly not sure I could cope with the demands of motherhood otherwise.
It helps my horse lives out 24/7 and the yard do his rugs and hay so on the other days I take 1 or 2 of my children with me to check him and throw a bucket in the field and if I can't go up at all it doesn't matter. *sometimes* instead of riding I disapear for a latte but I tell my husband I am riding ha ha!
I have a friend who sold her horse when she was pregnant with her little girl and she regrets it so much as her horse was such a saint that now her daughter is 4 she could have sat on him. She said it was hormones and she regrets selling him every day.
I'm not saying don't sell your horse but to think long and hard about it :).
 
I know I've replied to you in a previous post but there is another thing to consider here. I will hold my hands up and admit that since having my children my confidence isn't what is was before. Have things changed for you or are you able to ride as you did previously? I rode during both my pregnancies to 32 and 29 weeks respectively, but this was because I felt safe on my pony. I had him as a yearling and backed him myself so knew as far as I could that I could trust him to be sensible.

My pony is brilliant with my kids. They sit on him bareback in the field whilst he's lying down etc....and he was a star when eldest wanted to start riding (yes at 14.2hh he was a little too big but safe as houses!
 
Thanks Firewall - my lo is 20 months and I also still work full time plus have a dog and hope to have another lo in the future.

That's my worry - that I regret it but I've been thinking about this since lo was very young so I wonder if that's a sign as it's not a snap decision.

Tried the grass livery route but where I am grass livery is limited and means no facilities which made winter really tricky. My new yard has better facilities but is £££

I just feel constantly knackered and often the thought of having to go to the yard is just a downer although I generally enjoy it when there.

If this person decides not to buy then I'm not going to advertise him - I actually thought I'd removed all the sale adverts that I'd posted last month but apparently not and this woman found one and got in touch and as it sounded like such a nice home I thought it worth considering.
 
Peregrin - I've never been the most confident rider but have definitely noticed I'm less confident/more cautious now. I rode til 5 months pregnant but had an unlucky fall so decided to stop and wouldn't ride while pregnant again.
 
Oh and the woman has visited and rode and spent hours with us chatting and handling him - they'd be perfect for each other and he'd get so much attention and care whereas sometimes I really struggle to get up for a couple of days and although yo will check him she won't pick feet out/spray fly spray or sun lotion.
 
Yes I would as I have ridden other horses - I've just never been that fussed about it as my horse is so good I never wanted to sit on anything else.
 
Don't do it. Get him loaned instead in fact ask the buyer if they would loan rather for a few years but let you ride say once a week on a day they plan not to do anything to tick you over.
 
As Equi said, would it perhaps be better for you to loan him, or even to share him if you still want to be involved but just not as heavily?
 
I think get a loaner or a sharer even. It sounds like you will regret it once your children are older and off to school. Like someone else said you will need your 'me time' what will that be if you sell the horse?
 
It's a tough decision, but if you're not 100% about your commitment now - one child, perfect riding weather - how might you feel with another little one in tow eventually, and in the dead of winter?

Something will have to give or you'll start to resent your horse. I agree with the loaning ideas others have suggested. At the very minimum it'll give you an idea whether you can deal with being horseless or not, and if you do truly miss riding, doing all the chores etc, all won't be lost.

Or full livery if you can afford it - so just turn up and ride?

I personally took a 7 year hiatus whilst having my 3 kids. Time flies, but my confidence upon returning to riding was never the same.
 
mytwofriends said:
I personally took a 7 year hiatus whilst having my 3 kids. Time flies, but my confidence upon returning to riding was never the same.
Click to expand...

I agree, I 'hung up my boots' last year due to smashing my back up rather spectacularly 5 years ago. I've now pulled a Toddy and un-retired and I am now riding a friends pony. I have found that I'm a lot more cautious than I was, however I've been used to riding a pony I knew inside out and backwards and now I'm riding a different pony, so I'm not sure how much that factors into the equation.
 
Hello
I am due a baby in November and havent ridden my two since i found out; they were both in light work and in hinsight i dont need 2 horses. I should think they will both have the year off but im actually not worried. They are enjoying living out and getting a brush instead of being ridden. Both were broodmares before i had them so have already had years of just sitting in a field. I dont feel guilty about not riding them. Their basic needs are met and they are checked twice a day and brushed during the week. Im quite happy for them to sit and be field ornaments until im back into riding which will likely be next summer! They were not in heavy work and whilst i have reservations that i dont need two horses, one is my OAP and forever horse and the other had health needs therefore i couldnt part with either of them.
Although my baby isnt here yet i am realistic about the changes that will happen in my life when baby arrives. I also have a variety of other animals (loads) and i know time will be tight; the horses will just have to be ridden when i have time.

If you are having doubts about selling him, i wouldnt. You can always change your mind later down the line but cant change your mind and have him back. You could loan him, get a sharer or just let him have time off, not put pressure on yourself and ride when you have time and accept he will be happy with this. If hes stabled could you get him living out with a shelter? This would save you time and money. Try and do things that will make it easier for you. Its hard to find that 1 in a million horse. Best of luck whatever you decide to do :)
 
I would sell him to the nice home, the woman sounds a lovely home by your description. Also, as you've already had your horse for 9 years (not sure how old that makes him) but by the time you've had another child and they've grown up a bit and you are ready to ride again I would be wondering if it was time for him to slow/down retire?

Personally I would keep yourself ticking over riding-wise by doing fun stuff like going for the occasional lesson or trek, all the fun none of the comitment until you are at the point where you want another horse again :)
 
I would get a sharer to do 3 days a week and contribute financially that way you have 3 days you won't have to go up to the yard and he will be ridden on those days, it's so hard to find a horse you can feel totally safe on I think you may regret it once his gone.
 
I've been trying for 2 years to get a sharer - there us just no one interested :(

Age wise - he's 13/14 so still hopefully got a good few years ahead of him.
 
I agree with the sharer/loan options. When I was pregnant with my 3rd, I took a friend to pick her new car up...I ended up driving away in a totally unsuitable 4x4 and left my beautiful 7 seater on the forecourt. Slightly different but do not underestimate those pesky hormones! I regretted that decision for 2.5 years until I could sell it. God knows how I'd have dealt with it had it been a wonderful friend and companion that I'd sold and could probably never get back again.

Also agree with a PP - my pony is my only down time, something just for me. It's bloody hard and I do struggle to make it work but it's worth it. I don't think I'd manage life without the escape that she provides.

Whatever you decide, good luck.
 
He's sold! Mixed emotions but I feel it's the right thing to do.

I will miss him so, so much but his new owner is lovely and is really keen that I go visit and ride him regularly.

Will be odd after 9 years of owning him not to have that bond but also a relief not to have that responsibility.
 
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