rosetc
New User
For a bit of background, I am a fairly competent novice who has ridden and worked at a riding school for about 12 years. I’ve loaned ponies in the past too, some not the easiest. I’d never had a confidence knock prior to this, even after some scary falls. So the time felt right for me to progress and buy my own horse.
This lovely mare came up on Facebook one day and I fell in love, she’s absolutely stunning, the perfect size, ticked a lot of boxes, so I went to see her. I rode her in the school, she was ever so patient with my rusty riding, and then and there, I wanted to take her home. She’d had a history of taking the mic with her previous owner, who was downright scared of her, being dangerous to lead and wouldn’t pick her feet out because she was that scared. But she went on sales livery, they sorted all these issues out, full vet work ups, everything was ironed out. She didn’t display any of these behaviours while on sales livery, so everyone thought they had gone. She’d been ridden by novices there, handled by children, everything.
The first 3-4 months of ownership were hard, but I was loving it. I got thrown off 3 weeks in due to a sore back which we investigated and after a saddle refit and chiro appointment she went back to normal. But this seriously dented my ridden confidence, I didn’t realise how much it had until I went to get back on a couple of weeks later (I was limping for a week, I really got hurt!) but on the ground I was still as confident as ever handling her. We spent last summer just having fun, I got my confidence back little by little and felt like we were flying! Even progressing to cantering through fields which would have sent me dizzy after my fall.
And then September came, and she started becoming explosive to lead in and out of the field. Seemingly out of nowhere. She’d been as quiet as anything before. I put it down to her being the last one in of a morning, so I started trying to bring her in at different times, made no difference. This took me back a bit, but I was willing to work through it. Fast forward a few months and the behaviour has just escalated. She’d had no expense spared on making sure she’s happy and healthy, she is just dominant and tries her luck which seems to be working in her favour. I’ve tried everything from hours of groundwork, control headcollars, changing turnout around, having lessons and nothing was getting better. I’ve skimmed through forums like this for hours on tips to handling a horse like that and tried every single approach. She’s gone to kick out a few times, from simply asking her to move over, and the other day she exploded while in hand and almost kicked me in the head. I could have died. I drew the line and said no more, she needs to be sold on to someone more capable. I was spending each day dreading going to the yard, for the simple fact of I had to lead my horse in and out of the field, and the fun had completely stopped.
This has completely shattered my confidence, and for it to stay safe, we need to part ways. We just aren’t the right fit, and that’s fine. I’ll be the first one to admit she needs someone more capable than me. But how do you cope with the guilty feeling of I’ve failed my horse, because it sounds silly I know I haven’t, but I need to stop trying to convince myself I have. Has anyone here experienced anything similar?
This lovely mare came up on Facebook one day and I fell in love, she’s absolutely stunning, the perfect size, ticked a lot of boxes, so I went to see her. I rode her in the school, she was ever so patient with my rusty riding, and then and there, I wanted to take her home. She’d had a history of taking the mic with her previous owner, who was downright scared of her, being dangerous to lead and wouldn’t pick her feet out because she was that scared. But she went on sales livery, they sorted all these issues out, full vet work ups, everything was ironed out. She didn’t display any of these behaviours while on sales livery, so everyone thought they had gone. She’d been ridden by novices there, handled by children, everything.
The first 3-4 months of ownership were hard, but I was loving it. I got thrown off 3 weeks in due to a sore back which we investigated and after a saddle refit and chiro appointment she went back to normal. But this seriously dented my ridden confidence, I didn’t realise how much it had until I went to get back on a couple of weeks later (I was limping for a week, I really got hurt!) but on the ground I was still as confident as ever handling her. We spent last summer just having fun, I got my confidence back little by little and felt like we were flying! Even progressing to cantering through fields which would have sent me dizzy after my fall.
And then September came, and she started becoming explosive to lead in and out of the field. Seemingly out of nowhere. She’d been as quiet as anything before. I put it down to her being the last one in of a morning, so I started trying to bring her in at different times, made no difference. This took me back a bit, but I was willing to work through it. Fast forward a few months and the behaviour has just escalated. She’d had no expense spared on making sure she’s happy and healthy, she is just dominant and tries her luck which seems to be working in her favour. I’ve tried everything from hours of groundwork, control headcollars, changing turnout around, having lessons and nothing was getting better. I’ve skimmed through forums like this for hours on tips to handling a horse like that and tried every single approach. She’s gone to kick out a few times, from simply asking her to move over, and the other day she exploded while in hand and almost kicked me in the head. I could have died. I drew the line and said no more, she needs to be sold on to someone more capable. I was spending each day dreading going to the yard, for the simple fact of I had to lead my horse in and out of the field, and the fun had completely stopped.
This has completely shattered my confidence, and for it to stay safe, we need to part ways. We just aren’t the right fit, and that’s fine. I’ll be the first one to admit she needs someone more capable than me. But how do you cope with the guilty feeling of I’ve failed my horse, because it sounds silly I know I haven’t, but I need to stop trying to convince myself I have. Has anyone here experienced anything similar?
so far she’s settled back at the sales livery yard like she never left, which makes things a lot easier for everyone and I’m glad she’s happy where she is. She’s generally a pretty laid back mare, we just didn’t get on which is absolutely fine. As long as she ends up in a lovely home which is suited to her, I’ll be happy