Selling your beloved friend

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sh90

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May seem a silly question but how did any of you realise your horse and you didn't suit or match etc. what gave you the push to put them up for sale? Did you manage to find your perfect equine partner after or did you you regret selling ?
 
With my Welsh cob I was getting frustrated and felt as though I'd outgrown him. I can't really describe it, I just knew we weren't suitable any more. Put him up for loan and I had a mare on loan for a year but that didn't work out. The people who had my cob on loan bought him after a couple of years and he's still (about 7-8 yrs later) doing the same stuff I did with him. Hacking, the occasional day's hunting, the odd DR test and SJ round; they're happy, he's happy, and I've had 2 more horses since.
My previous horse was on long term loan. I spent a lot of time and money trying to keep him sound enough for what I wanted to do, massively adjusted my ambitions to what he was capable of, but eventually I just knew the time had come for him to go home and retire. So off he went and I have a lovely little horse now who suits me perfectly. I was really sad when the last one went because I loved him to bits but it was the right thing to do. My current horse is perfect in every way and I wouldn't have him if I had kept any of the others.
 
Never been able to do it. I have kept all of mine until their death except for two, one went to my sister, and the other went to the blood bank where he's happy as a pig in ****. I do worry that I have bought something too small for me this time though. She's only 3 and 14.3 at the moment, but I don't think she's going to be big enough (15.2). However, I love her and so she's not going anywhere. She has fabulous movement and potential, so if I am too big for her I will have to find her a small jockey. If I can't, then she will just be a pet. Many would say it's a waste, but she's not going to care. I am lucky in that I can ride my livery horses though.
 
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Of horses I have owned with the intention of being keepers then there have been 2 that I have sold on and 1 that I have permenantly loaned on.

Both of the ones I sold on had loan/trial periods first. At the end of the day you have to accept they are expensive animals to keep if they aren't doing the job for you and you can only do your best for them by being honest a out them when moving on.

You know in your gut deep down that they are not right for you. I've not regretted rehoming any of the 3 I mention above. And on each one I have made the decision quicker, because I know how much better having the right horse is.
 
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Yup. Sold 2 of mine in the last 14 years. The first grew into much more horse than I could manage and I found him a lovely home where he competed regularly, won a class at Hickstead and had a very happy time for the rest of his life. He is much mourned by them to this day.

The next one I bought, although a real sweetie, turned out not to be ok in certain traffic: not a safe or happy option for either of us. He now lives in Norfolk, pootling round much quieter lanes than the ones here.

Haven't regretted selling either. They were happier with different owners, I'm happier with a different horse.
 
Thank you for your replies. I have a fantastic gelding who I have had for 2yrs we have come on so much, despite our ups and downs, we have achieved more than I ever thought and has taught me so much. However I just feel he is to much for me and would be better suited to a confident rider. everyone always says I ride and deal with him well but I have a novice brain, if that makes sense.

For example, at shows he is very excitable and I have to lunge him before i get on and my confidence is very low out and about. I look back and think why I am I thinking of selling look at what we have achieved but I always have this niggle he deserves to have a confident rider and be doing stuff. Id love nothing more to spends my weekend at a dressage comp or at the local farm ride but with him I worry like hell, worry il not have enough time to lunge and his excitability scares me if he is not lunged first ( he is not naughty I just have no breaks and that's what I hate so I know I tense and they he acts up more). despite all this the thought of selling him nearly puts me in tears. I do need to have lessons again but I don't know if he will ever change in open spaces/shows as after 2yrs he hasn't chilled out. he had only hunted once and think he messed his head up a little bit.

I have no idea what to do; give it another year try and get out more have lessons and then see or if after 2 yrs I still don't feel confident to tack up and go to the farm ride for example is enough enough.

sorry for the long rant and non of it probably makes sense!!!
 
I plodded on for 5 years with a horse that I sold recently. He didn't want to do what I wanted to do and it wouldn't have mattered who had had him, he wasn't going to change. I had become very fond of him and it was quite difficult to sell him but I'd already found another horse who suited me better and luckily I managed to sell him to an ideal home. Frankly, I think life is too short and horses are too costly to keep going with something that doesn't make you happy and I wish I'd made my decision sooner. I love new horse and although we've had teething problems, deep down, I know he's right for me I never felt that with my old horse.
 
I didn't sell but I rehomed to a TB Rehoming place.
I did it after trying for 5/6 years to get to grips with him but never being able to do much more than light hacking.
I had a year away from him and it was decided he was too awkward to rehome and I had him back. It was like a second chance and lovely actually!
 
sh90 said:
May seem a silly question but how did any of you realise your horse and you didn't suit or match etc. what gave you the push to put them up for sale? Did you manage to find your perfect equine partner after or did you you regret selling ?
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I wanted an all rounder. First horse I had wasn't going to be an all rounder. Came crashing to reality about it after a lovely jumping lesson, only to aim at the wing accidentally (and jump it perfectly!), to fall off the other side, to get back on, and for him to go to absolute pot about it. We had so many attempts at trying to make him into what I wanted. Some days he was perfect, others he was like a jelly fish about it and it was not through my lack of experience or confidence either. He just was not meant to be a jumper, even though he had the most beautiful jump! He is now happily a great teacher for dressage and novices and he loves it.

I miss him alllll the time. My heart strings sometimes pull when I realise what a genuine and lovely boy he really is, and it makes me feel regret at selling. But then I look at how happy he is, and how unhappy he could have ended up if I had kept persisting with what I wanted and not what WE wanted. If I could afford two, I would have him back in a heartbeat, but saying that I totally knew it was the right decision. Yes I cried many times. I had thoughts of where he would go and who to if I ever sold, and how I would cope without him, but you deserve to have the horse you want, and there are lots of potentially wonderful owners out there to sell to!

Yes I have the all rounder I want now and she is a dream, but sometimes you hold onto some fond (and not so fond!) memories of your first horse. I think that is normal for any animal you have loved and given your time to, even if it is not a perfect match.

ETA- OP you mention how you feel your current horse is too much for you. There is nothing wrong in admitting that and finding something better suited to you. Horse riding is meant to be fun! It costs us a lot of money for this hobby, and we invest a lot of time, money, blood, sweat and tears. We have all been there (I nearly went there with my current one!). Yes, lessons and some support from an experienced rider will help, but I think if you have invested all the time and dedication you want to, there is absolutely no shame in selling. I think you know when your heart is in it, and when it has given up, and personally, if I were you, and I felt a confident and more experienced rider could serve him better, then that is what I would do. hope you sort things either way :)
 
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its so hard as I keep hoping I will suddenly grow some b@@@ocks and get on with it as I deal with everything he throws at me out and about etc but I just cant seem to enjoy it! other then when we win a class;) but its all the stress and worry before hand. I just want to get out and about fun rides/ ode /dressage etc but the thought of doing that on him knocks me sick. thank you for all your advise guys xxx
 
I think sometimes people make one feel that there's something noble in not selling horses. There are many many fab homes out there & many many horses that will be more suitable. We sold our lovely cob who had limited ability, was unreliable & jumped like he was going to war. He was wonderful and sweet tho & he went to a fab home where they just had fun with him. We were friends with them on facebook & they did lots with him and he was well loved. Eventually he was PTS with them. I'm competitive & my mum is nervous, so he wasn't really suitable for either of us. It was hard to sell him, we didn't imagine we ever would when we got him & we would have been devastated if he'd ended up in a bad home. Many tears were shed. But in the end he had fun with his new family, & we have a wonderful fabulous ISH who I love and trust a lot more, and I hope we will have him for life. I would hate to sell him but that's mainly cause I don't think I'll ever outgrow him & equally I don't think he's too much horse for me or mum, and if he could compete to a higher level then I have a fab pro who would take him. I think you know if it's not right with a horse & like people, there's only so much you can change them.
 
I've sold 3 horses over the years. I have no regrets over any of them.

I think you have a gut feeling, and you know when things aren't right. Sometimes there's no real reason, other times there will be something specific that happens that pushes you into the decision. I've had both scenarios, and eventually opted to sell on both. Sometimes you feel sad, but then you see them doing fantastically in their new home and feel so much better about it all. It also frees you up to find the horse who is right, and that is an amazing feeling when you do :)
 
the thought of seeing some one else ride him kills me lol! its just so frustrating that when we get it we do fab but its all the tears and stresses leading up to. I don't want a plod or anything like that but at shows he literally just sets off in canter and I cant stop- he hunted once before I got him and I think its messed him up a bit. for example I took him to a show the other month just for a mooch- he was fine happy munching by all the lorrys then as soon as we walked to the ring its like he switched- cantering round me and getting very excitable. this is where i need my confidence most. I know a good/confident rider would just threw it but I don't have the guts:(
 
I've never been able to do it! Kept my old boys until the end, and will keep Pip until he pops his clogs :) I've been overhorsed and underhorsed at times but just kept on trucking. What I lack in skill I make up for in persistence. ;)

They border on the 'pet' side of things for me. Not sure if this is the wisest move, I know I will probably never rise through the levels because of it - there has been frustrating times and blimmin scary times too, but I think I am a better horseperson for working through the issues rather than just buying something new. Luckily though I have always had lovely horses! There's a few, that if they were mine, I'm not sure I'd be able to stick to my ideals :p

Why not get a pro to ride him in his first few shows. Have you been for many lessons away from the yard? That might help him realise it's not that thrilling. Says me whose horse is a complete nut away from home :p
 
Pigeon said:
I've never been able to do it! Kept my old boys until the end, and will keep Pip until he pops his clogs :) I've been overhorsed and underhorsed at times but just kept on trucking. What I lack in skill I make up for in persistence. ;)

They border on the 'pet' side of things for me. Not sure if this is the wisest move, I know I will probably never rise through the levels because of it - there has been frustrating times and blimmin scary times too, but I think I am a better horseperson for working through the issues rather than just buying something new. Luckily though I have always had lovely horses! There's a few, that if they were mine, I'm not sure I'd be able to stick to my ideals :p
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And what would you do if (like many of us) you could only have one horse at a time - ie not kept at home on your own land? Let's say you buy your horses as 5 or 6 year olds ... with luck, they may be with you for 2 decades. So, if you can finally afford your first one at 20 ... and the next one? You're 40 years old... and then 60 and ... That's it. Your 3 horses you can have in your lifetime.

Would you honestly stick with every one to the end under those circumstances if the 'fit' wasn't right?
 
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