Separation anxiety at events - any ideas?!

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diddy

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Hi all,

We want to start taking our two ponies out & about together. Our little gelding is quite nervous by nature but we've been working on his confidence & he'll now hack out alone & go to events on his own without too much of a problem - he's a bit on his toes but doesn't do anything silly.

However, the couple of times I've taken the 2 out together, the little guy gets very stressed out, calls for his friend pretty much all the time, pulls to get back to him & has been known to put in a couple of bucks if he doesn't get his way.

So, I'm wondering what we can do to overcome this. I could be overreacting as it's been a while since I braved it so he might have got better with all the hacking etc. over the summer. However, we're taking them to a PC event on the weekend & I'd like to be prepared for the worst even if it then doesn't happen! It's hacking distance from home so I think I've got a few options:

- Take the 2 together & hope junior behaves himself this time :)
- Take the big pony first then come back for the little one a bit later & hope they don't spot each other (not quite as silly as it sounds - arenas are quite far apart!)
- Make life easy & just take 1 & the kids can share! Then work on his issues next year when the children might be better able to manage him themselves...

What would you do if you were me? I'm not in a rush to fix this but we do need to deal with it at some point so any ideas would be very welcome :)

D. x
 
Dear OP
My heart goes out to you, because I also have a fantastic little kids pony who has a SERIOUS seperation anxiety. She gets extremely concerned about everything when with friends. she has always lived with company for the 6 years I have had her, as I did not dare to try her on her own. Anyway, ............
Last month her best friend was rehomed, and my God, she has been soooo much better. I never thought she would go out to the field and settle, or go to shows etc. But she is so much better. Recently we went to a one day event, and she did not neigh all day. When she is with a friend for company, she neighs all day long and poos, and poos.
So I would say, go for "make life easy and just take 1 and the kids can share", especially if your kids are small. A neighing pony can be quite scarey for a kid.
 
Hi Jeza,

Thanks for that. Glad to hear things are going well for your pony! V interesting that - I thought they should be better if they've got company but obviously it wasn't the case for you guys either! I'm thinking I'll leave him behind this time - it is scary for the kids but it right freaks me out too :)

x
 
I have this problem with my 5yo. He is great hacking or in school on his own or in company, you can take him away from the herd but god forbid you leave him and take others away!! He was shown over the summer and with my sisters calm gelding he was pretty good but the one show we took my mare to he seriously played up to the point I thought id have to let him go for my safety!! As soon as he got back to the mare he was his normal self. So frustrating! I was panicking about taking him to a county show and wondered if I should bring my sister horse for company but on his own he was foot perfect and got 2nd!!! I think some horses are more social than others, my sisters horse is very much a loner so then the 5yo doesn't attach himself, however the mare is a pain! Neighs, squeals and cant live without a friend so then the 5yo attaches himself to her and gets wound up when she neighs for him.
Your doing the right things atm, make sure he is left on his own in the stable and field as much as possible and just persevere at the shows. The mare I have is terrible and id never leave her because she didn't behave but in hindsight I really should have pushed her to be alone sooner as now she has become much easier to handle.

Best of luck!!
 
do the ponies live together? stabled near each other and turned out together?

if yes can you separate them from being together so much of the time?

when mine and my daughters were turned out I made a point of stabling them as far from each other as possible to try and prevent them becoming to dependent on one another-do you think that would help?
 
I've had a few over the years that got separation anxiety at shows if travelled with another horse. It didn't even have to be a horse they knew, I picked up another pony on the way to a show once and in their 40minute journey they became temporary best friends. I always travel alone now as it makes my life easier. None of these horses had separation anxiety at home, it only became aparent if they travelled in a horse box together
 
minimilton said:
I've had a few over the years that got separation anxiety at shows if travelled with another horse. It didn't even have to be a horse they knew, I picked up another pony on the way to a show once and in their 40minute journey they became temporary best friends. I always travel alone now as it makes my life easier. None of these horses had separation anxiety at home, it only became aparent if they travelled in a horse box together
Click to expand...

My experience too although my gelding isn't that bad when separated and settles ok once I've tacked up and riding but he does become best mates with whoever he travels with even if he has never met them before.

Travelling alone is so much easier I've found.
 
Hi everyone,

Thanks for all your replies - sorry was v busy at work yesterday & couldn't catch up on the important things!

This is all very interesting, albeit frustrating - thanks for sharing your stories... I had this lovely idea of me & the kids going off to do shows with the 2 ponies going off to do their thing then meeting back at the trailer but it sounds like this might never happen!

To be fair to the little guy, I think he had a bit of a rough start in life & he's naturally quite nervous so he's doing pretty well considering. And the 2 of them live alone with no other horses, so it's only natural that they rely so much on each other. I think I'll just take one of them this weekend to be safe. And over the winter I'm going to practice taking the 2 out in the trailer & perhaps making them hack in different directions for a bit. That way, we can build up their self-reliance without the rest of the local horse world having their eardrums shattered in the meantime :)

Thanks again for all your advice - good to know I'm not the only one with a high maintenance pony..!

D. x
 
My TB is like this and we have been battling with it all summer. Hack's out alone, rides in the school alone, can take her to shows alone and she is as good as gold! But if she is boxed with a friend then all she does is shouts at them if they aren't next to her at all times. The more I take her out the better she is getting, I have learnt now that if I react her doing it then she is worse, if I just try and ignore it and just concentrate on my riding she is much more manageable. A long warm up is also key with her!
 
My gelding is a real pest with this he spends the whole time hollering down my earhole and running round me in circles.

Drives me nuts!

Next show he goes to I'm taking earplugs.
 
I'd take them separately if you can. My 20 yr old Arab had never ever had a problem with separation anxiety until last year, when we moved to a new yard with my sister and her gelding. Instead of living in a herd, it was just my mare and the gelding living out together and oh my goodness did she get attached to him! If he was taken out for a ride, she would go frantic in her stable, rearing up, running in circles and screaming constantly. She wouldn't eat or settle at all. She couldn't be left in the field as she just went barmy, and although there were other horses in the next field it didn't seem to help at all. Even if she was in her stable with other horses in their's, she just would not settle! She did improve, slowly, over the course of the year, but it only stopped being a problem when my sister moved her horse away (she took him to uni with her) and my mare started going out with two miniature Shetlands. I do think that horses being in a pair can cause more problems than you think, because they get very attached to each other, whereas in a herd they have more balance!
If you can manage it, I'd take them separately, then work on it next year when you have the whole season ahead of you. The problem is, they might be fine, but you don't want to risk them getting silly and spoiling your and the kids' enjoyment of the day.
 
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