Separation anxiety - getting urgent now

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Achinghips

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I posted this same question recently and got no replies.
Has anyone got any tips - mare won't leave friend and damages field and stresses in stable when separated.
I fear I will be asked to leave livery.
 
I am having this problem, I am lucky enough to have a yard to myself.

Does she thrash around??? Is she damaging the stable or the door??? Does she jump out???

I have had to be a bit hard on my mare and just take her away contantly and tie her up in the stable when grooming etc and just ignoring her thrashing and making noise.

I put a stable chain across the door so she cant kick the door as I leave it open when i am there. When i am not there I put a large tubtrug full of water infront of the door so that if she paws etc she gets splashed and she doesnt like that at all.

Have you tried cross tying when grooming or when she is under supervision in the stable??

Nikki xxxx
 
No tips other than to say you aren't alone. Lil does the same despite having 33 other horses on the yard or in the fields that she could talk to.
 
Thanks for replying I'm getting to be at my wits end. Being led from field she starts neighing and trying to turn around and grows in height by about 2 feet. She then box walks quickly around neighing out of both windows and moving very quickly, a bit bargy too, despite being told off, stopped, backed etc. TB so the stress will make her loose weight too.
In the field, when fieldmate is taken out, it's impossible to keep her in there, she barges through electric fencing after galloping and skidding to halt repeatedly, churning the ground into a mud bath within half an hour. YO is getting cross and frustrated, as she can't always be there to put her in the stable to protect her land. The other liveries are feeling guilty about going riding now. I have asked them if they can put her in if they ride as I work, but it's an imposition on them.
Nightmare.
She is on a calmer.
 
How many horses on your yard? Could it simply be that the yard doesn't suit her?

I can't keep my horse at a small yard, he goes ballistic so I have to keep him on a big, busy yard where he always has company when in or out, and where he is never ever alone.

How many other horses is she turned out with? Again, maybe she needs more company for turnout. If moving yards isn't an option then I'd want to look at separating her from her friend for turn out, so that she is with different horses.
 
Its not easy but you have to gradually train her to be on her own. That means taking her away for just a couple of minutes at first then building up the time away. Expecting her to do it for an hour or more at a time is a bit too much in at the deep end. Unfortunately thereis no quick fix.
 
Recently put the 2 horses together - she was stressing too much on her own, due to the far location of her corner field and damaged it too badly so the ground now needs to rest. Now she is in the middle of the sectioned off acreage. There are horses opposite her and diagonally.
 
Hmmm, i bought a horse just like yours and had to send him back. BUT... his issues with seperation anxiety did improve when his fence was seperated with 'electric' fenicng. (he was obsessed with horse next door) once he couldn't groom her over the fence he didn't bother so much. Can you seperate your horse off with maybe just one or two ohters? My horse also box walked and he tried to climb over the anti weave grill :eek: So i filled that in with an infill (you can buy these for normal doors too) and made sure no dangling haynets or any other dangers and just let him get on with it. I know how you feel with regards to the other liveries, as i used to panic when they wanted to get their horses in or ride out. I just thought you know what this is supposed to be fun, and it isn't! You could always get one of Kelly marks people in, i emailed her and she said she could help but it would take a while. In my experience, serious seperation anxiety is hard to resolve. Does she nap when ridden out on her own? my horse was stop and rear.
 
I'm in Cambs. She prefers riding out with others, but will ride out on her own and neigh a bit and quicken up when we turn around.

She's only been doubled up for 2 days due to her wrecking the field, when the others rode out. The doubling up is a horse who she formed a previous bond with over the leccy fencing.
YO has suggested I keep her in during the day as a last resort (and when people ride out), and out at night, when noone is riding. But then she'll be in on her own and I know she will stress during the day.
 
I am probably going to be shot down in flames but if she has to be on her own is there any where she will be out of sight of other horses when in the field???

I mean if she isnt settling within sight of others then maybe total and utter separation is what would be best for her then she cant see anything and no-one to talkto/shout at/stress over means she may accept it eventually.

I am on the verge of doing that with Mines and she isnt as bad as your.

nikki xxx
 
I have just taken my Reiki stage 2 which means i can treat people and animals now. I would be happy to come and spend an hour or so with her (free of charge of course) It may help it may not, can't make her worse. It would prob take a few sessions but i know Reiki can unblock deep seated stress patterns in animals. Let me know if want to try.
 
NiknKia said:
I am probably going to be shot down in flames but if she has to be on her own is there any where she will be out of sight of other horses when in the field???

I mean if she isnt settling within sight of others then maybe total and utter separation is what would be best for her then she cant see anything and no-one to talkto/shout at/stress over means she may accept it eventually.

I am on the verge of doing that with Mines and she isnt as bad as your.

nikki xxx
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Mine was worse in this situation, if he couldn't see another horse he jumped the 5 bar gate to get back to yard:eek: But if another horse was 3 paddocks away he would accept that. Strange things horses sometimes!
 
Thanks Sarahsmum, that's a fantastic offer and truely generous. Can I get back to you on it? I'd pay your petrol of course.
I think, I need to see how she gets on over the next week or so and review it, as the doubling up only happened on the weekend. I only bought her in January and previously she's been kept as part of a herd of 3 for 8 years, so it's still quite early days yet, trouble is,I may be asked to leave the livery before she has time to settle.
 
NikandKia, thanks for asking she will always see others as its a couple of acres separated into paddocks by leccy fencing
 
Yes of course, the offer is there and i wouldn't take petrol either :D It's because i know how frustrating it is and i'd be glad to try and help. Pm me anytime :D
 
QR

It's a nightmare - we had a pony who would box walk and fence run if he was left on his own (I know, but I only had the two of them and could only ride one at once) BUT, he was happy in a certain paddock up near the stables - just not the top field. He never got over it and was stressy to the end if he thought he was going to be left. He was fine in a small herd, though, and made a few friends. Lived happily at a retirement home in a group til he died.
 
Go to your nearest health food shop, and buy Rescue Remedy spray - spray on tongue or into mouth 3 x a day. Also buy a small bottle of an essential oil called Neroli, which you can get diluted down to 3% in veg oil. Offer this to the horse twice a day - may lick a tiny bit off your hand - this oil is indicated for separation, and works wonders.

Hope that helps, do give them a go, they do work !!! sm xx
 
I had similar issues with my ex racer, although not as bad as your mare sounds and he was always OK to hack out alone. I have had him for almost 2 years now and he is much better, although still cannot be left completely alone either in or out, as long as he can see other horses he settles. Im lucky to be at a very small DIY yard and the other girls always make sure he is brought in or out with the others ( I do know how lucky I am). We have a very regular routine which suits us and the horses (again I know this isnt always possible with more people around). I also tried several calmers and in the end as nothing was working, I had a long conversation with one of the manufacturers and he now makes up a calmer specifically for me using a slightly different mix of ingredients (happy to recommend him, if you want a name pm me). I guess what Im saying is that with time and patience, you may be able to make things better but it may never completely go away. I may get shot down for this, but I also think mares are more difficult to deal with in general, they are entire animals after all and when hormones strike!! I know the mares at my yard are much grumpier and stroppy than the geldings, (sorry that wasnt what you needed to hear was it?) Good luck with her and hopefully your YO will grant you some more time to help her to settle.
 
If she is only turned out with one other is there the option of her being put in a field with several horses?? That way she'll never be on her own.
 
shysmum said:
Go to your nearest health food shop, and buy Rescue Remedy spray - spray on tongue or into mouth 3 x a day. Also buy a small bottle of an essential oil called Neroli, which you can get diluted down to 3% in veg oil. Offer this to the horse twice a day - may lick a tiny bit off your hand - this oil is indicated for separation, and works wonders.

Hope that helps, do give them a go, they do work !!! sm xx
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Thanks so much, I have some rescue remedy already, isn't it just diluted whisky?
I will defo look for some neroli, is there anything I can spray on the wall/put in the hay/bedding too? I'll try ANYTHING!!
 
amymay said:
If she is only turned out with one other is there the option of her being put in a field with several horses?? That way she'll never be on her own.
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That's a great idea, but it's yard owner rule that only shod horses of the same sex can go together - and they are the only two like this on the yard, yard is quite small.
 
Rotchana said:
That's a great idea, but it's yard owner rule that only shod horses of the same sex can go together - and they are the only two like this on the yard, yard is quite small.
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It may well be then that a bigger yard will suit you and the horse better - it has me.
 
Then you need to find a new yard. One that suits her needs.
Horses, being herd animals are far far happier in a herd environment.
Where you are is obviously not doing her any favours, so I would start looking around for somewhere else, incovienient as it might be.
 
I bought a youngster which did exactly the same, jumped out of stable, reared up and cut legs on grill when it was shut etc. etc. I couldn't ride my otherhorse for fear of what might happen, eventually I rang the breeder to ask if she had any other clients for him (on a big yard for example). She told me off and said we hadn't been strict enough. We had to put two strands of electric tape across the front of the inside of the stable (plus I never took her away without giving him a large feed and masses of hay). At the start he used to box walk and whinny and stress but now, having done this almost every day for 2 years, I just open the door and say 'in' and 'over' he is as happy as larry and I can hack away to my heart's content. However, I haven't tried leaving him in the field alone as I'm worried he might jump out!
 
My YO went through my feeding regime with me this morning. I was shocked to see how far I've deviated, without realising.
Basically, she thinks I may have the feed balance incorrect, which isn't helping things as I'm feeding her too much high energy.

She's advised me to add much more chaff and reduce the speedibeet, more A & P calm and condition and Ride and Relax, take out all the carrots, all the apples and halve all the supplements and garlic I use (I think I've inadvertently made my mare have very expensive pee and pooh).

She even said she'd print it all out for me so I don't deviate again, and that we'd review it in a month, to check her weight and temperament and see how she's getting on.

No where near does group turn out - I';ve explored this as an option.
 
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joeanne said:
Then you need to find a new yard. One that suits her needs.
Horses, being herd animals are far far happier in a herd environment.
Where you are is obviously not doing her any favours, so I would start looking around for somewhere else, incovienient as it might be.
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There are 10 horses altogether on the Yard? Nowhere near will do group turnout.
 
Re the feeding, check the Allen & Page website and you will see that C&C and R&R are not designed to be fed together, but progressively. For horses in light work, A&P suggest their Fast Fibre, and as the work increases, you would go up to R&R, then C&C, then Power & Performance. For example, we have quite a few customers whose horse are hunting twice a week, are hard and fit, and are on C&C. Unless your mare is working very hard, I'd cut the C&C out completely. Also note that many people think that C&C is a calming feed - it isn't. A&P state that it won't make your horse any more fizzy/lively (my words not theirs!) than it already is, and it will keep condition on.

Re the seperation anxiety - sorry but I can't help you, I've been going through the same thing with my youngster...
 
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