Separation Anxiety - Practical advice please

[BethH]

Hi, ideas needed please - this is long!

I moved my 20year old horse on Saturday (have owned him since aged 4) as the yard he was at has stopped offering overnight turnout. Because he has had a few medical issues over the years, the limited turnout means he has been constantly on/off lame for the last couple of years and he also started to develop lots of issues with napping as the yard has a couple of narrow paths where he kept bumping into deer so he became scared and panicky. Having never particularly enjoyed hacking alone although he would, it became a much bigger problem so I thought a move was needed.

I've found a fabulous little yard, really convenient location for me with as much turnout as I want over the Summer months and I can have DIY rather than livery so I can go back to looking after him myself, lovely other liveries - it's the perfect yard, just 7 horses in total and since Saturday he has had so much turnout he now looks very sound.

Now here is the problem. The owner of the new yard only likes the horses to be out in pairs and he has gone out with a lovely older mare also aged 20 who is very straightforward, he also has 2 other geldings out in a paddock adjacent to him. My horse seems to have decided that he shouldn't leave the mare alone and in a very short space of time has become a nightmare, I don't think it's because she is a mare, but he seems to have completely latched on to her and can't cope with leaving her. I've managed to walk him from the field to the stable on Sunday and he was very stressed so I gave him tea which he wouldn't eat and I turned him back out. On Monday he was so bad in the stable that I couldn't tack him up and after a few minutes stuck a long line on the headcollar and took him into the school where he proceeded to canter and fast trot for 20mins. Everytime I tried to slow him down or calm him down he just set off again. Tuesday I managed to get him into the stable because one of the geldings was working in the school which is opposite and he was much calmer although far from relaxed. I managed to get a bridle on but when the other horse left the school he was hysterical again and tried to barge out of the stable several times, I got him in the school and long reined him for 20 minutes whilst he again proceeded to run round like a luny unable to take his attention off the mare in the field who has now come into season! He eventually calmed down a bit and I walked him back to the field calmly, as soon as I took the headcollar off he took off at a flat out gallop to the mare. So today I couldn't get him out of the field safely, he calmly strolled to the gate with me, came outside and as soon as I headed for the stable he bolted and ripped the lead rope out of my hand and was then tricky to catch. I managed to get him back in the field and I walked back up to him whilst he happily stood there and I put his dually on which I haven't had to use for years and a lunge line on to lead him back to the stable, again he strolled out of the gate and then bolted pulling me over having unravelled the whole long line. I now can't get him into the stable, but got him into the school where again he ran round like a horse possessed. I feel I have to persevere with asking him to leave the field or it will become worse over time or should I just leave him alone to settle for a few days. He is putting the pressure on himself as I'd be happy just to give him tea and a brush and put him back out but he won't eat his feed and i feel he needs to burn of the energy hence the school. I've put valerian in his feed as a calmer but he won't eat it. Each day the behaviour is getting worse and I don't wont to move him as he needs the turnout which is really rare where I live.

He had behavioural issues as a young horse (age 5-8ish) due to KS and so although he had displayed many different behavioural problems over that period, for many years he has been a poppet, he is great in a herd and did have a period of time where he was only out with 1 other gelding with horses around and was fine. He has always been tricky, highly oversensitive and always ended up as head of herd as he is very kind but clear that he is dominant. He has been in mixed herds before but for the last few years has been geldings only but has never been particularly bothered by mares. All of the learned bad behaviour as a youngster has reappeared despite not having seen it for the last 10years apart from the odd moment here and there.

He is very well trained in hand, usually beautifully mannered and a joy to be around, we've done immense amounts of groundwork overthe years and have always had a great bond. I know this is panic, it's not personal or nasty I just don't know whether he needs time or work and told to get on with it and I am really worried about the bolting outside of the field.

Ideas please, especially on how to persuade him to spend 10mins in the stable!

 

[splashgirl45]

could you bring the mare in and put her in a stable close to him? this is what my friend and i did if one of us wanted to ride and the other didnt. it worked for us....we used to bring them in together so didnt leave one in the field on their own...

 

[BethH]

That's an idea. The owner of the mare wants her out 24/7 and isn't there during the week, so her horse is only bought in for 10mins for breakfast by a freelance groom and then turned back out (whilst my horse hysterically gallops around the fenceline). But she is a really nice lady so maybe I could see if she'd agree to keeping her in for half hour for a few days to see if that makes it a bit less intense. Problem is he's a really good doer and I'd like him in for a few hours during the day so he's off the grass for a bit and I can work him. I thought he'd settle after a few days but it's getting more extreme. I do understand it's a big change for him, but he's always just settled straight in at the last 2 yards and is so easy but he has been in a small herd. He isn't a brave horse and can be anxious but this is quite extreme.

 

[splashgirl45]

you will find that they are worse if there are only 2 in the herd, my friends gelding and my mare were in individual turnout at our previous yard. he was never bothered if i bought her in . if my friend bought her gelding in my mare went bonkers, so she had to bring her in as well......at the new yard we had to put them in together as there were no spare fields, my friends gelding then started to get upset if i bought my mare in so we just bought both in together and everyone stayed calm....maybe ask the mares owner if you could bring her in and give her a feed while you work yours to see if yours calms down a bit which would save her using a freelance groom to do it . if you are worried about him putting on weight you could ask the yo if you could section off a bit in the field for him to go in either during the day or during the night so the two horses get time together...

 

[BethH]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, they've been out together 24/7 since he arrived and he is so greedy hence wanting to get him in the stable for a few hours. The place I moved to is a private house so she doesn't mind what we do with the paddocks and they have a lot of space so it might be a good idea to section some off as you say. I think I'm going to try and bring him in for breakfast at the same time as the other horse, so hubby is lined up to do the school run in the morning. Freelance groom is also stabled on the yard and I'm the newbie so tricky if the situation causes her to lose work and she is also very nice so I wouldn't want to do that. I did think that the only drawback in moving him was just being out with 1 other, but thought given all the other positives he'd be fine, how wrong could I have been. I think I'm just really shocked that within 24hrs he feels so strongly about leaving the mare, but I guess he must feel quite vunerable after the move and I probably haven't listened as well as I could! He was fine to stand in the stable when the other horse was in the school so I think he must find his new stable quite isolating, I might ask if I can tie the mare up outside his stable whilst he has his feed. Thank you for some good ideas, it's been really helpful.

 

[splashgirl45]

yes agree best not to upset the freelance groom, i had assumed it was someone who had to come to the yard especially to bring the mare in for breakfast... you may find that if you bring him in everyday with her and he starts to get calmer you may be able to bring him in on his own if you want to ride....i would leave him out 24/7 and section off a part of the paddock rather than bring him in on his own and leave him in. most horses are more chilled if they are out all of the time so he will probably calm down sooner. good luck

 

[BethH]

Thank you, some good advice, looks like a fencing job tomorrow!

 

[Red-1]

That's an idea. The owner of the mare wants her out 24/7 and isn't there during the week, so her horse is only bought in for 10mins for breakfast by a freelance groom and then turned back out (whilst my horse hysterically gallops around the fenceline). But she is a really nice lady so maybe I could see if she'd agree to keeping her in for half hour for a few days to see if that makes it a bit less intense. Problem is he's a really good doer and I'd like him in for a few hours during the day so he's off the grass for a bit and I can work him. I thought he'd settle after a few days but it's getting more extreme. I do understand it's a big change for him, but he's always just settled straight in at the last 2 yards and is so easy but he has been in a small herd. He isn't a brave horse and can be anxious but this is quite extreme.

I believe on this regime he will get more extreme.

From his perspective, he is put in an uncomfortable situation, makes a fuss and hey presto, he is reunited with his pal.

You need to separate them until your horse is calm, and only then put them back together - otherwise you are rewarding the silly behaviour.

I had a pair get a bit silly, so I separated them until they settled. That was actually about a month, with one out in the day and the other at night. Never a problem afterwards, you could leave one in the field and ride the other away up the driveway no problems. The elastic band had broken and they knew that silly behaviour meant they did not be reunited. You are rewarding the correct behaviour by reuniting them when they are calm.

If you separate them for half an hour then reunite weather or not they are calm, you are just teaching them to be silly for half an hour or more (rather then just 10 minutes) to get back together. It has to be that they are separate until calm. Then the time taken to get calm will get shorter, until the problem is extinguished.

 

[HashRouge]

If you separate them for half an hour then reunite weather or not they are calm, you are just teaching them to be silly for half an hour or more (rather then just 10 minutes) to get back together. It has to be that they are separate until calm. Then the time taken to get calm will get shorter, until the problem is extinguished.

I genuinely do not believe that horses think like that, especially not when suffering from separation anxiety. It's not some conspiracy on the part of the horse! They make a fuss because they are stressed, not because they are trying to get the owner to give in! Of course the method you describe does usually work over time, but that is because the horse becomes more used to being separated from its friend and therefore less stressed. It's not because you have taught them that their "silly" behaviour won't work.

 

[BethH]

Thank you both, whilst I would like to him to get used to being separated and can see that he needs to learn to deal with it, he is behaving so off the wall it is dangerous and I don't want to make the situation worse. I can't even get him to the stable to keep him in as he is bolting in hand and charging up and down the path which is dangerous for other people around. So I've managed to herd him in to the school several times and he just charges round and takes 20mins to slow down and walk calmly. He is a really kind horse, I've owned him for 15years so I know this isn't playing up or trying to be difficult it is genuine panic. It started the day after the move trying to bring him in and each day over 4 days the behaviour has become more & more extreme so I just don't whether to keep trying to separate him or just leave him alone for a few days. He's clearly happy in the field as they were both laying down this morning, I think he feels responsible for her and is anxious about where she is even though he could see her in the field from the the school. I was hoping to co-ordinate bringing him in with the other horse this morning, but the groom has said she can't give me times she's there as its different each day so that idea is now a non starter as i'm not confident bringing both in in case he kicks off!! Do you think I should separate them again as initially I fenced some of the field off to introduce them and they were fine so went in together the following day.

 

[be positive]

If he gets seriously upset however you go about trying to make changes you make will only work if you have complete control, if the mares owner wants to ride her at the weekend it will set him back, her leaving every morning is adding to his stress and he does feel responsible for her so if he leaves he is also upset.
This type of arrangement can work but in my experience once a gelding thinks he needs to be with his pair, another gelding can be just the same as a mare, it is very hard to really get them settled without changing the dynamics, having 3 usually solves the issue completely and is a much better arrangement in a livery yard, in all honesty I think you will have trouble solving this unless you can change fields somehow, there are 7 there so 1 must be alone or in a field with 2 others, see if any of the other liveries are willing to swap in order to help.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

I have found that they will learn that they will be returned to their friend. You have to build it up slowly over time. I have even started by feeding one the other side of the gate and then popping it back in the field when finished. Then build up to feeding in the stable and returning to the field Then increase time before returning to the field etc... eventually I was able to hack one out and although they would neigh a couple of times it became undramatic.

 

[Pinkvboots]

I keep 2 at home and they always come in together and go out together, I can't leave one in the field on there own but they are happy to stay in a stable while the other is ridden, you could bring the other horse in everytime your horse comes in and it will solve that issue but what if the owners mare takes her out of the field your horse is going to be left on his own? So a third horse would help in that respect but it won't help if you want to remove your horse on his own.

He could be a lot more clingy and stressed as it's a new place, I would continue to try and get him to leave the other horse for a while longer to see if eventually he will settle.

 

[BethH]

Thank you, more good advice. The horse on it's own is the yard owners and she likes it that way so there are 3 lots of pairs. He seems threatened by the geldings next door and is constantly telling them off if they try to talk to the mare which is rather unlike him! So today I put him back in the fenced off half of the paddock for a few hours to separate them but they could still see each other, I thought it might give him a break from his responsibilities! He ate some feed for the first time and although started off stressed, he then settled and was happily grazing on his own for 4 hours with the other horses around him, as soon as I opened the fenced off section he came straight out and told the other horses off for talking to the mare over the fence, she has come into season for the first time in years!

I went back this evening and put the mare in the fenced off section and he was happy to be led to his feed bucket and was much calmer. I think the slowly feeding him further away from the mare as faracat suggests might be a way of gradually manging this, I am also dosing him up with valerian in the hope it helps! He has no problem at all with being led anywhere in the field it's just outside the gate he starts panicking!

I am just amazed at how much he seems to have changed over the last few days, I would have thought at the age of 20 I'd seen everything he has had to throw at me but clearly not. I will try and feed him outside the field tomorrow and see how it goes and gradually get to the stable, I'll keep it quick so he 's going back to the field after a few minutes. I swear I'll never learn everything about how to handle horses!!!