Sharer situation advice!

[Equinebec]

Hi, just some advice/opinions would be helpful! Shall try and keep this as short as I can! (Share with no contract of written agreement)

As a sharer, would you still feel happy sharing the pony if the owner doesn’t take much responsibility in his daily care/exercise anymore? Or you feel pressured/relied upon heavily for the pony’s care and exercise due to owners own lack of time? We’re on a private diy farm and share out visits with another lady at the yard with her own horse too, however the owner of my share pony only chooses about 2 visits for her horse out of 14 a week. (2 a day)

Would you feel happy paying (albeit a small contribution) to be feeling like you can’t go on holidays because of the impact that has on owner? Or paying to now be a big part of the responsibility of the pony’s care? Owner very nice and have good rapport, but finding less enjoyment in it recently, especially in winter with all the jobs which come with it. I thought to myself what am I doing, when I came up as an extra day to lunge my share pony in the pissing rain so he wasn’t as crazy for me to ride the next day Almost building a resentment towards the situation as this is why I share and not own, as she can’t help me manage his energy in winter.

We have one other sharer for him who does one day a week but she isn’t experienced.

I love the pony to bits, but I often wonder what is really best for her pony as she doesn’t have the time to ride or see him much due to other work/family commitments. Tricky situation.

Am I being dramatic and how do you bring this up? TIA

 

[IrishMilo]

How did it get to the point that you were doing the bulk of the work? If you really like the pony you need to say to the owner “Hi X, just as a heads up I can no longer do more days than what was initially agreed”.

 

[Equi]

You need to be firm on what time you can commit. If you offer to do more, they will let you do more.

 

[honetpot]

Difficult one, you are lungeing so you can ride it, so you are getting the benifit. Riding in winter is always difficult, so either don't do it or do blocks and ride perhaps three consectutive days. If the owner has home commitments, I imagine that is why they went for a share, things may have changed
If it not what you want, look for something else. I have loaned to and shared with people, and there is always a written contract so no can say that is not what we agreed.
My worry is when the better weather comes and you have done the winter graft, they will want to ride more. I think you need to make things clear.

 

[meleeka]

You need to stick to the agreement. Repeat to yourself often "Not my problem, not my horse".

 

[Spot the Merry Risk]

Just check with yourself how you would feel if the owner said they would then terminate the loan? I’m not saying don’t do anything about the problem, but do think it through first.

 

[Equinebec]

How did it get to the point that you were doing the bulk of the work? If you really like the pony you need to say to the owner “Hi X, just as a heads up I can no longer do more days than what was initially agreed”.

How did it get to the point that you were doing the bulk of the work? If you really like the pony you need to say to the owner “Hi X, just as a heads up I can no longer do more days than what was initially agreed”.

Hey! So I have been sharing this pony for a couple years, and it’s been a gradual transition of the owner doing less and I just seem to be doing more somehow. I think I just need to be firm about it!

 

[Glitter is Fun]

Hey! So I have been sharing this pony for a couple years, and it’s been a gradual transition of the owner doing less and I just seem to be doing more somehow. I think I just need to be firm about it!

Sounds as if the chores aren't the only problem. If pony needs more work too could you suggest the owner takes on an additional sharer?

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

It sounds like you have ended up in less of a share situation and more of a paying to be freelance horse care and exercise type situation.

I think the winter with DIY horses thing is what it is.

For the rest I agree with @IrishMilo and come back to doing what was originally agreed.

With previous DIY share I did do the odd extra day where I didn't ride but came up and did the jobs; but it was on my terms, I enjoyed it, and the owner saw it as a plus to save them a day doing it/having to pay someone else (and thus did not charge me!) rather than a given.

 

[Equinebec]

Difficult one, you are lungeing so you can ride it, so you are getting the benifit. Riding in winter is always difficult, so either don't do it or do blocks and ride perhaps three consectutive days. If the owner has home commitments, I imagine that is why they went for a share, things may have changed
If it not what you want, look for something else. I have loaned to and shared with people, and there is always a written contract so no can say that is not what we agreed.
My worry is when the better weather comes and you have done the winter graft, they will want to ride more. I think you need to make things clear.

Yes I think I just need to the firmer. I’ve been sharing the pony for a few years and it’s just gradually become this way. That’s my thought, naturally it’s easier in summer with lighter evenings so she would probably ride more I imagine. The other lady we joined up with was so that it would make visits easier between them both, however she isn’t coming up much at all anymore which is becoming frustrating for the other lady because it’s a diy yard and still responsible for her horse. They will sort that arrangement between them if it’s not working I’m sure!