Sharers!

[kc921]

Hello all!

I am really stuggling to find a good sharer, my boy is on grass livery, the only "chores" they do is poo picking one wheelbarrow full on each of their days.

I have had 3 different sharers, due to their commitments (Family issues) or because I have moved yards (only 5 mins away from where the previous one was) they decided to not continue.
I am now on the 4th sharer, she gets on with my lad great and can ride him good as well. However, I have found out from one of the girls at the yard that she is taking the mick a little bit. She rode him out from 9 in the morning until 2pm and then took him out again at 2:30 till gone 3:30, the girl at the yard also told me when they got back the last time, my lad ran through the yard in a blind panic and jumped back into his paddock fully tacked and ran to the top of his field.

I have obviously messaged my sharer and asked what happened etc. and she explained, so I nicely went through the yard rules with her and I went over again the contract we both signed before the share begun, I also made it clear that I did not want her taking my lad out for that long of a time and only once a day, but the reply I got back was very sarcastic and almost childlike. I replied back again very nicely just saying don't worry about it, we have gone over it all now and i you ever have any questions/concerns then please do message me! To which I never got a reply back.

I am thinking about just giving up on sharing him out as I want him to be happy and healthy, but when I first started in the horse world I know how hard it was to find a share, so I'm a bit stuck on what to do!

Any advice would be much appreciated!

Thank you in advance!

 

[Shay]

I had a sharer do this once - but not again. They didn't realise becuase ridng school horses get used lesson after lesson. The childish reply could just be because they are embarrassed. If you like the otherwise you could gve them anther chnace. It really depends how desperate you are to share him. There absolutely are good sharers out there - but they are hard to find. And the more you need to share the harder it always seems to be! If you decide to stop looking for a sharer the perect one might come along on thier own - or not. But at least you know he is safe.

 

[kc921]

I had a sharer do this once - but not again. They didn't realise becuase ridng school horses get used lesson after lesson. The childish reply could just be because they are embarrassed. If you like the otherwise you could gve them anther chnace. It really depends how desperate you are to share him. There absolutely are good sharers out there - but they are hard to find. And the more you need to share the harder it always seems to be! If you decide to stop looking for a sharer the perect one might come along on thier own - or not. But at least you know he is safe.

Thats the thing I don't need a sharer as such, it's mainly for him so he gets exercise and some love on the week I work till 7pm.
She is 17 and now has not responded back at all ( I sent her another message yesterday letting her know I have sectioned off some of the field).
Before this girl I have 3 other people come and try him, I advertised him as not a novice ride, yet all that turned up were novices and couldn't ride him at all, pulling at his mouth, couldn't get him into a trot.

I think i'll give this girl another chance, but it'll be the last, unfortunately it seems like all i've had are bad experiences with sharers

 

[Meowy Catkin]

If you don't need a sharer and sharing is making horse ownership more stressful - don't do it!

Your number one concern is the welfare of your horse, this doesn't seem to even enter your sharer's head. I personally wouldn't give her another chance.

If someone comes along who you trust with your horse, you could then offer a share at that point if you would like to.

 

[Bellaboo18]

What faracat says really. I'd be concerned she hadn't updated you with what went on and you had to hear about it via someone else. It would lead me to wonder if she'd keep other things from me. Unfortunately she seems a bit immature. Your horses welfare is most important

 

[ester]

I couldn't continue to give someone access to my horse who had had an incident like the above and not informed me.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Absolutely ester.

 

[skint1]

I think that fact that she didn't inform you would worry me a lot. If you want to keep her you could try and talk to her and explain the boundaries to her, take nothing for granted, assume you have to explain every last thing

 

[Equine_Dream]

I couldn't continue to give someone access to my horse who had had an incident like the above and not informed me.

This! She would have been gone there and then. Accidents happen but to not tell you what has gone on is wrong imo. You are his owner and have every right to know. My worry would be what else has she not told you.

 

[flying_high]

I have had a bad history with younger sharers. My long term, really good sharers have all been mid 30's or older.

They ALL put the horse's welfare first, and respond to messages politely and appropriately.

 

[merlin84]

That sounds horrific! I am a sharer and wouldn’t dream of doing something like that to a poor horse! I am more communicative than the owner I think! I do fall into the over 30 bracket though. Unfortunately I have seen a lot of flightiness in the under 25 or so group in the riding world whether it be owners or instructors!

 

[flying_high]

That sounds horrific! I am a sharer and wouldn’t dream of doing something like that to a poor horse! I am more communicative than the owner I think! I do fall into the over 30 bracket though. Unfortunately I have seen a lot of flightiness in the under 25 or so group in the riding world whether it be owners or instructors!

Yes, I have to say I have also learnt the rule of dealing with over 30's applies to yard owners too. Having had a few painful learning curves.

I am very aware people can be mature and responsible at any age, however for most of us it a learning curve, that we are ironing out by our 30s!

 

[buddylove]

I have given up with sharers, had one over the summer who just stopped turning up and replying to contact. Another whose car continually broke down meaning she couldn't do her days etc etc. For me it was always so the horse could get more attention and I wasn't feeling continually torn between horse, job and family.
Now I am battling on throughout winter on my own, and my instructor is riding as well to keep on top of the exercise, it's exhausting but at least I know she is being turned out on time every day and cared for exactly how I want.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Certainly with teenagers, you need to spell out what they are allowed to do very carefully - take nothing for granted! And if you expect an update, tell her so.

 

[Umbongo]

I would be ditching her ASAP before anything else happens that someone else on the yard wasn't there to witness! Accident waiting to happen, and she is clearly is not too bothered with telling you first hand.

I used to be a sharer. Good sharers are out there, just hard to find.

 

[kc921]

I think that fact that she didn't inform you would worry me a lot. If you want to keep her you could try and talk to her and explain the boundaries to her, take nothing for granted, assume you have to explain every last thing

I was going to talk to her about all of it and bring her back up the yard to go through everything again. But I've sent her messages and she isn't replying at all to me now, thing is I have her on facebook so I know she has been on her phone etc, she is just ignoring me.
I am now planning on ending the share, but I need my keys back! and the fact she isn't replying to messages is getting me very concerned!

 

[kc921]

That sounds horrific! I am a sharer and wouldn’t dream of doing something like that to a poor horse! I am more communicative than the owner I think! I do fall into the over 30 bracket though. Unfortunately I have seen a lot of flightiness in the under 25 or so group in the riding world whether it be owners or instructors!

I had one perfect sharer who shared my previous horse for 8 months and then I decided to sell him and she wasn't suited to my new horse unfortunately! She was nearly 30 It seems everyone under the age of 22 just isn't reliable. I am a young horse owner myself (23) and he is my world I don't want to jeopardize my lad in any way.

 

[kc921]

I have also found out last night that she allowed her friend and her friends horse onto our yard and brought that horse right up to the paddocks where all our horses are. Which not only breaks the contract I put in place with her but it also breaks the yard rules!

Now I have to try and get a reply out of her to get the keys off of her and for her to collect her stuff from the yard!

 

[flying_high]

My suggestion would be move on from this sharer, and put up a couple of detailed adverts what you are looking for in some detail, one some free sites, such as preloved, with good photos of your horse, and let them run. Follow up any good replies, and have a detailed phone conversation and be selective. It takes as long as it takes to find the right person.

My criteria included - experienced and confident at independently handling horses, had all year round daylight availability at least 1-2 days mid week for hacking, able to ride safe but sharp competition horses, over 18, had own transport, under X stone etc.

That weeded out most unsuitable people.

 

[Antw23uk]

I've had some none start share's and some good share's ... the problem is me, I'm just not very good at sharing so now I figure I won't bother again! I would have told her to jog on ... an incident like that and she didnt tell you? also texting her? Why not arrange to meet at the field to discuss!

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Oh no. I hope you get your keys back.

 

[flying_high]

I've had some none start share's and some good share's ... the problem is me, I'm just not very good at sharing so now I figure I won't bother again! I would have told her to jog on ... an incident like that and she didnt tell you? also texting her? Why not arrange to meet at the field to discuss!

Regarding sharing. I have two horses, and work full time, and like both to hack 3 times a week all year round. I also like doing stuff with both e.g. pleasure rides / taking to gallops etc. Having sharers means the horses get more attention, more balanced work and can hack regularly even in winter. The benefits out way any issues.

One of my sharers has lessons on the older horse. The other only hacks on either horse. I’d find it harder if I was sharing the training / lessons / competing on the younger horse, I am not sure I’d do that.

I barely see one of my sharers one month to the next. She doesn't work Mondays and Fridays. And likes riding mid morning whilst I am at work. We occasionally overlap to hack together / box out places. But it's not easy as our hours don't mesh. Text / Whatapp is the basis of most of our communication. Though I try and make any significant chats face to face. If I took a day off work or summoned her to come back to yard outside working hours it would be a bit odd.

The other sharer doesn't mind hacking with me weekends / early mornings before work, and I see a few times a week.

 

[kc921]

I've had some none start share's and some good share's ... the problem is me, I'm just not very good at sharing so now I figure I won't bother again! I would have told her to jog on ... an incident like that and she didnt tell you? also texting her? Why not arrange to meet at the field to discuss!

I've been trying to Organize to meet her, but she isn't replying to my messages, so its rather difficult unfortunately

 

[Pinkvboots]

I certainly wouldn't have given her another chance after that incident, text her and say your going to burn her stuff might prompt a response at least!

 

[tankgirl1]

Do you have her address?

 

[Equine_Dream]

I would send her one last message worded along the lines of;

Hi x

I have been trying to contact you for several days now and have yet to receive a response.
There has clearly been a lack of communication between us, and due to this I feel you are no longer the right person to share *insert horses name*
Please can you contact myself as soon as possible so that we can arrange for you to collect your things and return my keys.

Thanks

 

[kc921]

Just an update, I have terminated the contract with her, and she is extremely sour about it and in fact being rather rude (although I'm assuming it's her mum who is messaging me now).

 

[Equine_Dream]

Just state a convenient time (for you) for her to come and collect her stuff. Then stop replying. No need to go over it with her or her mum. The share is over. That's the end of it

 

[kc921]

Just state a convenient time (for you) for her to come and collect her stuff. Then stop replying. No need to go over it with her or her mum. The share is over. That's the end of it

All done, she has collected her stuff and unfortunately she left on a sour note, which is a shame considering all the messages I was extremely polite.

Thank you for your help everyone!!

 

[skint1]

Sounds like you are well shot of her! Good luck with future share arrangements