Sharing

[Helga1980]

A random post, and some of you will probably disagree, but sharing DOES NOT WORK!!!

I thought I had the perfect arrangement but is already starting to go t*ts up

I think I shall be adding a horse to my Xmas list this year.

*Sorry, just needed to vent*

 

[pixie]

What went wrong?

I've just started sharing at the moment, so i'd be very interested..

 

[Bex7]

also interested to hear as I ave just started sharing my boy to a young girl to excercise 3 times a week......

 

[mangobiscuit]

I think sharing horses is very similar to relationships.....sometimes it can work out and sometimes not but it doesn't mean with a different arrangement/horse/person you share with, it will fail again.

Sorry to hear it hasn't worked out but if getting your own isn't possible dont give up hope! There's some decent owners looking for sharers out there.

 

[cariadssogreat]

I found sharing went wrong with a friend - but fine with a stranger!!!!

What happened?


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[hayliana]

i shared xspiralx's horse and it worked fabulously, fluently and flexibly... not a single complaint from either of us (unless she held back?!

)

to be fair it was a very casual affair, but such a positive experience, mutually beneficial for us both

 

[teapot]

Mine lasted 8 weeks as I had enough of the owner

 

[lordflynn]

what happened?
I think it can work but didnt for me. something about the owner being too scared to ride it but still pumping it full of feed in the summer. plus expecting me to drag her reluctant kid around on ancient pony (not part of the written agreement) from spooky, nappy oated up horse. Last I heard it hadnt been ridden for 3 months

 

[allijudd]

i shared a horse a while back and it is an experience i will never do again..i was trying to fitten him up and was told off for wearing spurs..(they are ruel apparently) the owners were told by other liveries on the yard who would ring up the owner and ask to ride my horse so it got to the point i coldnt do anything with him except pay his bills.....i lasted 3 weeks!

2 weeks after i told them where to go the lieries who were ridigng him galloped him hard in a field and he tore a tendon..what a waste of a damn good horse!

 

[Helga1980]

Am a bit wound up at the moment so it might be that I'm over-reacting.

The problem isn't actually with the owner. A close friend of theirs is on the same yard and she basically keeps acting as go between, taking odd comments I may make (i.e. 'I'm not sure if I'll go to this week's lesson') and making arrangements with the owner without telling me (i.e. convincing the owner to attend the lesson instead).

Is difficult as the friend isn't doing anything to deliberately cause problems just trying to be helpful! I know I should probably speak to the owner but it's a small yard and a very close friend of theirs so could make things very difficult.

A suggestion to those setting out on a share - make sure you agree, and have it in writing, who does which days, how lessons/competitions are split and who is responsible for arranging cover should you be away on one of your designated days.

 

[chestnut cob]

Sorry to hear you're having a bad time. Is it worth getting in touch with the owner to put things down in writing, as you suggest? The only thing I can say is for the time being don't say anything at all to the "friend".

I've thought about getting a sharer for my horse but I'm so neurotic that I'd drive the sharer mad and constantly be worried! I don't mind certain people riding him while i'm around but I don't think I could have someone else riding him while I wasn't there!

 

[debbielinder]

When i first got my horse i used to share her with some one (she was the owner i was the sharer) this worked well for us for 4 years until she got engaged and moved to ireland luckily my mum and dad bought ebony off her but said i would have to find some one to share her to pay for the costs. i friend did so for about 6 months but lack of time forced her to give up riding so when a friend of a friend who had been having regular lessons at a riding school offered to pay over half the costs of keeping her i though this was great as would keep the parentals happy. NEVER AGAIN will i let any one else ride my horse i kept telling myself i couldnt keep her without his financial contribution but he thought he was john wayne came off numerous times out hacking think ebony got fed up of the idiot on her back he came off 3 times in one ride! but when he kept forgetting to give me 1/2 the money for the farrier and forgeting to pay his part of the livery (was lucky is my aunties yard any one else would have chucked me off) i got fed up but when he came in from a hack and jumped my horse as he often did, when i was untacking her i noticed a lump on her side ans was then told she had come down on the path in the park and landed on her stirrup iron and he had then come back and jumped her without telling me! i flipped and told him were to go not seen him since this was prob 2 1/2 years ago not let any 1 else on her since i would never share a horse again

 

[Helga1980]

I'm tempted to agree with you but it's difficult not to get involved with the friend due to the set-up on the yard.

I think I will just try to keep my head down and see how things work out over the next few months while I work out if I can afford my own.

 

[Parkranger]

I thinking of offering my boy to one of the girls on the yard a few days a week. I'm going to ask her to muck out for me in payment.

TBH, I think that once money starts to change hands the sharer feels that they have a right to what happens with the horse - and in a way they're entitled to!

I just want someone to ride him who's happy hacking out with a bit of light schooling as is going to leave the competing to me,hopefully this will work out with the girl on my yard.....fingers crossed!

 

[Helga1980]

Victress - if you are clear what you want from the beginning I am certain it can work, I'm just suffering from a third person being involved.

 

[Cobnut1]

I'm sorry you guys have had trouble with sharing... I have had a share horse for nine years now, and it's the best thing that ever happened! I have two days a week with him, and if owner goes away/holidays etc, then I have him for the time she is away. We have a great relationship, the horse and I and the owner and I, and now if she has any concerns she will tell me her idea's to see what I think..

The most important thing about sharing is that you (as the sharer-not owner) is that you share a horse that has the personality/size etc that you would buy for yourself. and as the owner, you must see that the sharer is the person would sell your horse too.

If it doesn't work...find another that is more suited to your needs.

 

[BenjaminBunny]

I think sharing can work

I part loaned for 2 years and until the last month it worked fantastically

The owner had a few other personal issues that she needed to have time away from her horse which is understandable and I needed to get my confidence back after a really nasty fall - hence I started to part loan her horse (3 days a week)

To start off with it took me a long time to build up a bond with the horse - but I seemed to hit it off with the owner immediately - as I was living far from home it was like having another mother to talk to (she was in her 50's and i'm in my 20's)

To start with I had a few issues with another girl at the yard who was very close to the horses owner as she had part loaned the horse previously to me but had now bought her own - it took alot before this other girl trusted me - but I was happy to let her watch me understanding that this horse meant alot to her - and eventually we became good friends

anyway after a year i started showing the horse at the yard where she was kept (she wouldn't box so we were limited but that wasn't an issue for anyone) we did an absolute beginners class (as i had never done showing before) there was me (age 25) in a class full of 8-12 year olds (how embarrassing) but after a few appearances from me a few other "oldies" joined in so i didn't feel so daft - anyway i ended up winning the championship for the year - which i was so delighted with - as to start with we didn't get placed as the horse napped badly - but as we both built up confidence (me and the horse) we improved and i was taking regular lessons

then I went to get married and wasn't doing as much with the horse as i was so busy - i was also having a tough time of things after being made redundant and being in a job i detested

anyway i invited the owner to the wedding and she was one of the first people to reply saying she'd be there - to cut what is already a long story short - she didn't turn up - which really hurt my feelings as she meant alot to me

the day after i read a card she sent me which explained that she decided to go and see her daughter instead

now that is fair enough that she wanted to see her daughter but why couldn't she have just told me (i spoke to her the day before our wedding) anyway i was upset and decided to leave it until i returned from the honeymoon - thinking that there was some family emergency and i didn't want to interfere

So i called her upon getting back off honeymoon (it took alot of courage as I was so upset) and she answered and basically told me that i had been nasty and abusive to her and her 8 year old neice!!! WTF??? All i had ever done is try to be the best loanee possible - and help out where i could including help her neice with her pony (they made a fantastic pair - they could each give as much as they got)

this came out of nowhere and since i've not had anything to do with her - i've now got my own horse and am at a yard where i'm no longer placed inbetween arguements and i'm no longer seen as lower than everyone else

so loaning i think can work for a time but often if owner or loanee is getting on better with the horse jealousy creeps in

I had been doing very well on the horse and the owner seemed to have lost interest and from what i've heard she became very jealous of the bond i had with her horse

anyway i've waffled on waaay too much

 

[vicm2509]

I also think sharing can work.

After 8 years of not having my own horse I finally had the money to buy one. My best friend, who I met when I owned my first horse was also wanting a horse but couldnt aford one. I also had the problem of affording the weekly costs and time involved in keeping him on my own. I have a full time job and live on my own so money and time is a bit tight.

So when she said she would be interested in having my new horse on part loan I was made up.

With that in mind we went horse hunting together. I found a horse that I really liked so on the second viewing she came along and also really liked him. I went on to buy him. That was 5 months ago. I couldnt be happier, she does everthing the way I like it, we go for lessons together (she watches mine and I watch hers). We do 3 days each a week and both go down on a tuesday to discuss things. We share classes at shows (I get first pick though

) and have just gone halves on a horsebox. I love the way we can compare experiences with him and learn from each other by watching the other one ride and handle him.

I think it can work out but you have to both be working towards the same goals. Luckily we are both simalar in the way we ride and work together on everything. Saying that she has been my best friend for 10 years and I would trust her with my life nevermind my horse.

At the end of the day though he is my horse so I get the final say in everything. We have not had one disagreement yet though!

I dont think I could share him with anyone else though, Ive only ever let one other person ride him.