she is starting to pee me off (rant sorry)

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well i found a rider for my horse while i work ect, contract signed and already i feel like she is taking the pee ....

contract says she can ride up to a max of 4 times a week (if i am working all week and dont get a chance to ride)... so every other day ish.

she has been down every day this week,


i asked her not to lunge him without me ect or come down more than 4 times a week....
been down everyday, the one day he has had off from work and she comes down and has had him doing trotting poles (inhand) and loose lunging

on facebook, she is putting stuff like "the new horse" and wanting to spend every day down ther so they have a good bond.... i dont mind her bonding but to the point where she is thinking and calling him "the new horse" and bonding with him so he will get to recognize her more than me (maybe i am being a little jealous i dont know, i probs sound stupid). but it is really getting to me.
contract also states NO MORE than 2 ppl can come with her and she has had at least 3-4 every time she has been down (2 adults and 2 kids) kids not hers btw.

im also pretty anal about how he is ridden and at first she was good but now, she has started to slip into what i can only assume is bad habbits that she has gotten over the years and im worried it will make my boy used to sloppy riding work, she pulls like hell on his reins if he gets strong (which i also dont like)

i dont know. maybe i am just to much of a perfectionist with my boy

do i sound like i am just ranting, or should i be having a chat with her tomorrow ??? any ideas on how to handle this delicately?

suggestions and opinions please??
 
Oh dear, she is very new and already has broken all the conditions of the contract :eek:
If you have made the rules clear and she hasn't followed them, then tbh I would be calling it a day right now.
I would be particularly unhappy about the bringing of extra people, having had someone bring a pony to our yard (private family yard) and then start bringing people to look at the pony without asking if it would be ok, this is something that I would find hard to cope with. If you think she will settle down, then perhaps a gentle reminder, if this looks as if it could set in, then call it now, would be my advice. Good luck with it all.
 
I think you need need to put a sto to the visits every day. I think that is taking the pee. If its in writing, then shes violating the contract and you can end her seeing your horse legally. I think :) And the people coming to visit, i would just have a calm word with her about that. Say you are aware its exciting but its yard rules, or you dont want your horse to get to know too many people. Or soemthing like that. LIE!!! lol. Dont be so silly about the bonding thing though, of course he will bond with her, but it wont make him love you any less :) Hes going to remember the lady thats done him for years (possibly) over a girl he met a few weeks ago. And horses arent that smart, when she stops sharing him and youre the one bringing him food every day, im sure he will love only you again!

As for the "the new horse" thing, im afraid im going to be honest and say that is just your jealousy. If i was loaning a horse, i would want to write on facebook about it. How else is she to refer to a horse thats shes seing 4 times a week? It souns like shes purposely not saying "my" by saying "the". I think you just need to get over that bit and remember that she is doing you a favour, in one sense at least.

The riding i dont think there is much you can do.Maybe offer to give her some pointers and tips on how to ride him, or watch her a bit more to make her feel pressure. Surely shell ride her best when youre there???

And if all that fails...why share out your horse if you cant share!!!!

I cant share food, never mind my horse so i understanfd how you must be feeling but if you really need a sharer then maybe just take a deep breath and think at least shes enjoying and exercising your horse. Its better than a careless sharer surely??
 
she is 18 but seemed very understanding of what i wanted and expected from her when we first met ect... he is only 5 (my horse) and needs alot of schooling on the flat as he isnt used to aids or anything (been used for hacking and driving before i bought him) and i thought she understand what i had said... no blasting around no sharpe pulling and yanking of the bit, try use leg aids not the reins to manoeuvre him. be patient but firm, dont jump him or use trotting poles without my permission. ect ect (2 page contract)

leave my tack and brushes as clean as possible after use!!!!!!! nope !!! hair all over numnah (i expect a little) but didnt/hasnt even brushed it off! brushes still covered in fur :mad:

am i just to fussy?

i can not be fussy about my boys education THAT IS A MUST. but everything else???? :mad::confused::mad: AAAAARARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH
 
Samantha008 said:
I think you need need to put a sto to the visits every day. I think that is taking the pee. If its in writing, then shes violating the contract and you can end her seeing your horse legally. I think :) And the people coming to visit, i would just have a calm word with her about that. Say you are aware its exciting but its yard rules, or you dont want your horse to get to know too many people. Or soemthing like that. LIE!!! lol. Dont be so silly about the bonding thing though, of course he will bond with her, but it wont make him love you any less :) Hes going to remember the lady thats done him for years (possibly) over a girl he met a few weeks ago. And horses arent that smart, when she stops sharing him and youre the one bringing him food every day, im sure he will love only you again!

As for the "the new horse" thing, im afraid im going to be honest and say that is just your jealousy. If i was loaning a horse, i would want to write on facebook about it. How else is she to refer to a horse thats shes seing 4 times a week? It souns like shes purposely not saying "my" by saying "the". I think you just need to get over that bit and remember that she is doing you a favour, in one sense at least.

The riding i dont think there is much you can do.Maybe offer to give her some pointers and tips on how to ride him, or watch her a bit more to make her feel pressure. Surely shell ride her best when youre there???

And if all that fails...why share out your horse if you cant share!!!!

I cant share food, never mind my horse so i understanfd how you must be feeling but if you really need a sharer then maybe just take a deep breath and think at least shes enjoying and exercising your horse. Its better than a careless sharer surely??
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she is not loaning/sharer she is just a rider, not getting paid by me or she paying me, no money in any way is changing hands.... she just rides him for me if i dont have time as i work long hours and sometimes only have time to feed.water ect twice a day xx
 
Agree with yorksG she has already broken more than one part of the contract, start as you mean to go on, if you dont say then it sounds like the contract is a waste of time.
Mabe she is just being a bit to enthusiastic,but at the same time hes your horse and not hers, you definitely sound like youre a bit put out by it, so if you dont address it then it'll just fester and pee you off more, then itll never work.
The hangers on would drive me nuts as most dont have a clue around horses.
At my last yard a girl had a sharer, and between her family and the sharers at one point there were 16 people involved with this 1 horse, with kids squealing and running all over the place unsupervised.
The final straw for me came when i saw the mum sitting on a bale of shavings in the stable block of 10 stables, smoking :eek::eek::eek:
You need to address all parts of the contract shes broken and from what you say completely disregarded your instructions re the lungeing,thats another thing that would hack me off as well. find resolution or call it quits
 
I think if you need a sharer then maybe a private chat, there are worse things than being keen such as not bothering to turn up.
Does it matter what she puts on facebook the new horse is a way of not saying it is hers but not saying it isnt, ask her to cut down on people coming to yard and go over the agreement.

Her riding cant have changed that much in a short period maybe the reality of someone riding your horse doesnt sit well with you.
If you cant bear it end the agreement.
 
well i would work out a day rate to include shoes and livery costs and find a sharer prepared to pay that. otherwise you are subsidising someone elses hobby. a hack at a local riding school is £25 minimum. for an hour!!!
 
I do think youre being too fussy, with the grooming brushes and the numnuh ;) sorry!! But i also think if you dont like the way shes doing it then call it quits. Shes broke parts of the contract already showing she doesnt really respect it that much and if you dont need her for the money then it doesnt surely matter if you have to start looking again? There a girl at my yard thats riding a horse. Shes very neat, tidy and particular and man can she ride. So there are people out there that would suit you. Though she comes with very strong opinions to boot lol!!

I dont think youll ever find a perfect sharer (as that would be you sharing your horse from yourself) and you have make compromises somewhere. Were all the same :) If you dont like the compromises here then dont keep her around!! Theres plenty of people that would kill to help with a horse for free. I used to pay £25 a week for the privledge lol
 
Trinity Fox said:
I think if you need a sharer then maybe a private chat, there are worse things than being keen such as not bothering to turn up.
Does it matter what she puts on facebook the new horse is a way of not saying it is hers but not saying it isnt, ask her to cut down on people coming to yard and go over the agreement.

Her riding cant have changed that much in a short period maybe the reality of someone riding your horse doesnt sit well with you.
If you cant bear it end the agreement.
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Agreed, at least give her a chance - she just sounds keen, she is young, but in the end, if nothing changes, and you are not coping then end it.
 
I think the real reason is you don't want other people looking after your horse so you are finding things to complain about. By every day do you mean Monday Tuesday Wednesday? If so that's only 3 days so far. Why is she only allowed 2 people?
 
She is new, wants to tell her friends about your horse, show off the horse to family and friends, its hard to watch someone else deal with your horse, and not say one word about something.
Talk to her again go into a bit more detail, if this makes no diffrence and you are not happy then you have to let her go.
 
I've had some fab riders for one of mine,but also some that I just didn't click with because they push the boundaries to suit their own needs and it ends up with me running around after them.
Like you, I currently offer free riding for no money or jobs, and in return, I expect reliability, responsibility and sticking to a few rules.
Some people are free loaders with no idea about respecting what they have been given.
You have a busy life, if this sharer is a hindrance rather than a help, get rid sooner rather than later.
 
it does sound like she might not be the sharer you had hoped for, over the years I have had sharers for my horses and some have been great and some have not, sadly it is not something you can predict. I would have a quiet word with her about what you are looking for regarding the care of your horse, equipment etc. and also ask her why she is bringing so many people when she comes up? it may well be as its all new she wants family and friends to see him, you can then go over the conditions of the contract, days, visitors etc. and what you will or will not allow, being up front and clearing the air is the only way you are going to get peace of mind.
 
Fosterdown said:
it does sound like she might not be the sharer you had hoped for, over the years I have had sharers for my horses and some have been great and some have not, sadly it is not something you can predict. I would have a quiet word with her about what you are looking for regarding the care of your horse, equipment etc. and also ask her why she is bringing so many people when she comes up? it may well be as its all new she wants family and friends to see him, you can then go over the conditions of the contract, days, visitors etc. and what you will or will not allow, being up front and clearing the air is the only way you are going to get peace of mind.
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Echo this. It may be that she just got carried away as far as friends coming down etc

What I would be VERY unhappy about is the way she is riding him and in my opinion if she is doing this already you won't change it easily.
I know you don't have time at the moment BUT my view is it is better he has no work than incorrect work. Either she rides as you want or not at all
 
If you're not happy with her now, you're not going to be happy with her later.

Surely it would be better for you to pay someone to maybe lunge or sit on him twice a week to keep his fitness up, rather than having an agreement with a teenager. Things like that very rarely work.
 
Think she will soon pick up you're unhappy if she hasn't already and things won't go in a good direction. Talk to her asap! but in a nice way. I have seen things like this blow out of all porportion far too many times.

Good luck and hope things work out for you.
 
To me she just seems very over enthuastic at the mo and is wanting to tell and show all her friends and family, that will die down.
with the fb thing about 'the new horse' well in honesty it is a new horse for her to be riding so i think maybe you are over reacting there.
The brushes a quick quiet word there would help, personally i dont clean my numnah and brushes everytime i use them and sure many people dont so maybe its a habit she is not used to.
The coming down every day again just happy excited and wants to be around your horse better that than not bother to turn up.
I think maybe a chat about how things are going so far and how to go forward if she wants to carry on riding your horse, obviously the riding being the most important factor here, there rest of it well they are so minor in the big scheme of things as in your horse is being loved and cared for, that a small reminder about these things would prob be enough.
I have a few of my horses out on full loan and i have to say none of the loanees have ever put on fb my new horse just the horses name and yes the first few times i see them on there i get a bit 'oi thats my horse' but you get over it, maybe you need a bit of time to get used to seeing someone else caring for and posting on fb about your boy
 
horsegirl said:
I think the real reason is you don't want other people looking after your horse so you are finding things to complain about. By every day do you mean Monday Tuesday Wednesday? If so that's only 3 days so far. Why is she only allowed 2 people?
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she rode saturday, sunday, monday tuesday, and schooled him yesterday (5 days in a row) i dont mind him being worked but he does need a break he is only young.

i dont mind other ppl riding my horse i have had SHARERS before, but first time i have ever had just a rider. all the sharers have always been fab, a few probs but nothing like any of this. i have no problems sharing my horse... as long as im not getting undermined about everything i have asked her to do.
and only 2 people is a yard rule not mine.
 
Ah, so she has ridden him two days last week and three days so far this week. In which case she hasn't broken the contract regarding only 4 days a week unless you specifically said which are the 4 days to be ridden and whether there have to be rest days inbetween. Think you may need to be more specific in the contract if you haven't stated that the horse cannot be ridden more than so many days in a row.

As everyone else has said I think you need to sit down and have a chat with her to clarify what you want/don't want.
 
I think you need to communicate with her, not us, and frankly, stop talking about her behind her back online! I am pretty sure she would be able to identify herself if she read this thread, and how gutted would you be at the age of 18 to see yourself being shredded in public by the (presumably older) owner of the horse you ride?
 
It seems that this problem is starting to blow up out of all proportion. You have an agreement with the girl & she has not kept strictly to it. You need to have a quiet word with her regarding that & set everything right, if you don't it will fester & start to turn nasty & there is no need for that to happen. Also advise her of the yard rule regarding number of visitors.

The Facebook entry regarding 'The new horse'....I think you are going over the top. Of course the girl is excited & enthusiastic & wants to share he feelings & enjoyment with people, that's to be expected. You should be pleased she loves your horse so much. She doesn't say 'My Horse', so don't worry about it. The numnah & grooming kit is a little excessive as well, chill a little.

Although you have some issues to sort out with her, you have someone who really likes your horse & that's a good thing. From parts of your post I feel there is some jealousy by you because of the time the girl has been able to devote to your horse & that is part of your annoyance. Speak tio the girl & get the balance right & hopefully this will be a good arrangement for both you, the girl & your horse. Good Luck :)
 
Spudlet said:
I think you need to communicate with her, not us, and frankly, stop talking about her behind her back online! I am pretty sure she would be able to identify herself if she read this thread, and how gutted would you be at the age of 18 to see yourself being shredded in public by the (presumably older) owner of the horse you ride?
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im not shredding her! if you read it i say "am i over reacting" or something along those lines.....

i asked for advice on what others would do in my situation. she isnt a h&h forum member. and i have had a chat with her. she knows i have posted on here, i told her this morning when i had a chat with her. she wasnt offended and understood i needed maybe a little advice on what to say/how to say it and to find out if i was over reacting.

i wasnt nasty in anyway was i???? i didnt say she was a numpty or anything. all i want is the best for my horse.

and a few things that were in contract she broke, wanted to handle it delicately, hense the post (im not the most delicate or tactile of ppl and i needed some advice)
 
bounce said:
Ah, so she has ridden him two days last week and three days so far this week. In which case she hasn't broken the contract regarding only 4 days a week unless you specifically said which are the 4 days to be ridden and whether there have to be rest days inbetween. Think you may need to be more specific in the contract if you haven't stated that the horse cannot be ridden more than so many days in a row.

As everyone else has said I think you need to sit down and have a chat with her to clarify what you want/don't want.
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bounce yes, in contract it says up to max 4 times a week but does say with at least 1 day off in between the 4 (we agreed every 2 days then have day off to let him rest) xx
 
we had our chat this morning she was very understanding and explained she had been feeling a little rough the last few days (which is why he riding skills have slipped) the tack she will try to remember in future same with brushes...

the ppl thing is sorted i have made sure she understands that it is only 2 ppl permitted down while she rrides, with no exceptions.

didnt mention the new horse thing. i realise that sounded a bit paranoid or what ever. so all is good now (touch wood)

thanks for the advice everyone who gave it xxx
 
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