should I be. annoyed?

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showpony

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A good friend of mine agreeded to help me excersize my horse. Its a very casual arrangement but am due to go out jumping @ the weekend and person in question had agreed to come so she could jump also. Extra pair of hands plus giving her opportunity to compete. Am I overacting?
 
Hard to say if you're over-reacting if you don't tell us what your reaction is. :confused::)

She's let you down. If it's for something trivial, that's pretty poor behaviour. But maybe it was something she couldn't avoid?
 
I think if you are annoyed like you say in the title, then no, probably not an over reaction. i would be a bit annoyed too. she has let you down. I wouldn't make a big deal of it though,sometimes plans have to change and they won't suit everyone. I assume she doesn't make a habit of it.
 
Ok so have a fab youngster on full livery....
Got to know someone who is a good rider but cant afford to have their own horse at the moment. I let this person ride my horse one to two times a wk though it ends up being the former, as in once a week> NO Financial contribution which suits me fine but person in question was meant to come out to a show this weekend firstly to help me and secondly to jump a round ... but all that has changed all of a sudden due to social commitments.... just a tad annoyed!
 
Well its a bit annoying but depends if it was important, sometimes you can't avoid these things but if they're unreliable and you need them to be reliable then maybe stop the arrangement and befriend a more enthusiastic horse person?
 
showpony said:
Ok so have a fab youngster on full livery....
Got to know someone who is a good rider but cant afford to have their own horse at the moment. I let this person ride my horse one to two times a wk though it ends up being the former, as in once a week> NO Financial contribution which suits me fine but person in question was meant to come out to a show this weekend firstly to help me and secondly to jump a round ... but all that has changed all of a sudden due to social commitments.... just a tad annoyed!
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Sorry, I'm going to go against the grain here... I don't think there is a problem and I do think you are overreacting. As you said it is a very loose arrangement and there is no commitment financially. She said she would come and help you out but now has cancelled... So what? If you were putting yourself out for her and she cancelled, yes I would say it is poor but that isn't the case. I used to take money for a part loan, and if that person said they were going to be somewhere and couldn't then yes I would be miffed, but now I have a girl ride my horse and pay nothing, if she can't ride... She can't ride... There is no commitment, and if she says 'oh I will ride him on Friday' and they doesn't or pulls out... Well she has no responsibility to him or me, so it's fine. This person has told you it is no longer convenient... It's not like she just didn't turn up. I really don't see the problem.
 
I'm with snow queen, I think she was doing you a favour helping you out and now can't help to get narky with her would be churlish and risks cutting off your nose to spite your face. Many good riders want paying to school horses, you were getting this for free.
 
KristmasKat said:
I'm with snow queen, I think she was doing you a favour helping you out and now can't help to get narky with her would be churlish and risks cutting off your nose to spite your face. Many good riders want paying to school horses, you were getting this for free.
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Agreed. It wouldn't be me going to freeze to death at a show to help someone else so I think you should just be glad if she does come sometimes.
 
I'm with snow queen etc. To play devils advocate look at it her way. 'I'm an experienced rider, but due to finances can't afford my own. I've been helping ride a green 4yr old, saving myself paying for rides & the owner having to pay for a rider. Owner asked me to help her go sj at wkend, in exchange for jumping a round myself. However plans have now changed, I'm busy in the run up to xmas, & I've told the owner I can't go. Much as I know beggars can't be choosers, horse is green so I'd be doing a round as a schooling exercise to benefit the horse anyway, rather than a fab competing opportunity, so the owner wasn't just letting me jump as a favour, I'd also have been playing groom for the day. However owner is now annoyed with me'.
 
Even if your arrangement was loose, she still said she would go and now she has let you down, yes i'd be annoyed. people do this all the time and not just in the horsey world, say they are going to do something then dont, very unreliable! :(
 
I can see what your problem is, and understand your point of view. But at least she has given you a few days notice and you can hopefully rope in another helper or shelve the plans for a few weeks.

I have a very loose arrangement with one of my sharers like that, and she is also a really good rider. She said she probably wouldn't be available as much over the fortnight over Xmas as she has works dos and has to go and visit family etc. To be fair, I'm running round like a blue bottomed fly at the moment and wouldn't be able to take on much extra either. Its a busy time of year..

Let it slide. If it keeps happening, then yes you could justlfy being annoyed.
 
Ok, so going to put my hands up & admit Ive over-reacted a bit.
Oh & person in question isn't a " Professional" rider so it wouldn't be the case of me taking advantage of someones to " School" my horse over a course of jumps.
Was just a tad annoyed as have had this outing planned for couple wks & I don't have loads of friends who are " into horses" - will have to train my OH up so:)
 
It's a casual arrangement, she was goin to help you and unfortunately her plans have changed. You'll cope on your own, sounds like you're miffed you've got to do a bit more of the work yourself when you go out more than anything else.
 
Lol! That's defo not true, nothing about extra work! I'm not experienced taking her out and an extra set of hands in case anything goes wrong is always useful as mare is young and can be a little bit unpredictable @ times. Agree though I need to toughen up and just get on with it and hope it goes ok.
 
I would be annoyed as well. For about 30 seconds. I can see both sides of the story, but honestly is it really worth getting your knickers in a knot over? Life is far too short.
 
Fair enough if it was a trainer u had booked to come for months prior ?

But i read it as a friend doin a favour they didnt have to and were doin it kindly, the fact they cant do it isnt a huge deal you should b grateful they offered ? :o
 
PandorasJar said:
I'd be annoyed. Not because of horse/help/riding but because it annoys the hell out of me when people cancel a commitment last minute whatever it is.
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It doesn't read to me that it was 'last minute' it read to me that she had given decent notice, I also feel that if you can't manage to take your own horse out to an event under your own steam that's not her problem. Yes, she was going to support, but her not going should not mean op can't go, op should be able to take and deal with her own ned, little bit extra effort on ops part but not impossible.
 
Op, I think basically you are disappointed as you had been looking forward to this and your disappointment has manifested itself in a bit of a 'let off steam rant'. I'm sure that once you've adjusted to the change you will be ok, big deep breaths... You can do this, forward plan it to death, go with your mare... Even if OH isn't horsey, he can offer moral support, and if he can't go, you can do it, lots of reassurance to your horse and try and keep the pressure off yourself as much as possible, for example get everything ready in advance, green ribbon in your horses tail as an explanation if she plays up a bit and is novice, red ribbon if she may kick. Just go, enjoy even if you don't do everything you were initially planning to I'm sure you will come home with a sense of achievement at having done it regardless and all by yourself :)
 
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