Should I have kept my mouth shut? And what should I do now?

team barney said:
I would advise anyone to move if another livery started "training" their horse (especially a youngster) with Parelli, it is a cruel and abusive system. And if anyone used a whip/carrot stick on my horse (as you have implied you have done) I would be out of that yard/field instantly and s*d the other liveries.

You are with in reason to have approach the youngster's owner about her horses behaviour, though personally I wouldn't ever advise doing this by text, a letter would have been far more constructive if you could not say it to her in person.
You are on the other hand completely out of order to "train" the horse without her owner's permission.

Just feed your horses out of the field it is safer and far more sensible.
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This ^^

I would be furious if someone had been waving a whip at my Horse and took it upon themselve to train my Horse. I do think you were right to say something, but I think you went the wrong way about it. I can understand why the other owner is annoyed.
 
Think you may be on a sticky wicket, OP, and will be looking to move your horses again very soon.

I would be furious with you for putting the horses in a situation whereby they could be damaged, by your reckless and stupid behaviour.
 
WHAT??

Newsflash - horses are hierachical animals and will fight for feed. I'm not surprised this happened with you faffing about trying to warn off the other horses - get a grip.

Next time you feed all of them put down 2 extra bowls - space bowls 3 feet apart and let them get on with it.

DOH
 
scarymare said:
WHAT??

Newsflash - horses are hierachical animals and will fight for feed. I'm not surprised this happened with you faffing about trying to warn off the other horses - get a grip.

Next time you feed all of them put down 2 extra bowls - space bowls 3 feet apart and let them get on with it.

DOH
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Assuming they all eat the same food I suppose?
 
I would not be happy that you were feeding your horses (newly introduced to the field/herd) in the field at the same time.

Ideally you should have done it together with her present the 1st few times bit with your horses out of the field. No matter how much you wave your hands at and whip the youngster (way to confuse a young horse BTW :() he/she will naturally want to get to the food.

Hopefully you can rectify this once you speak to her before any horses or you get injured.
 
You are either going to have to feed all the horses and still expect trouble, or take your ones out of the field to feed them. I would never, ever feed a horse in a field with other horses - its just common sense not to as its asking for trouble. Even the best mannered horses will go crazy at feedtimes if they see others being fed and they are not, so to do it in a field where they are all loose is extremely foolish.

Either take yours out of the field to feed them/don't feed them/section off a bit of a small bit of field with electric fencing. Yes, it takes more time and trouble but its the proper way of doing things.

I wouldn't hassle the landowner or the other owner of the horses, I think you will just end up getting on their nerves. Just get on with your own horses.
 
Probably should have spoken face to face ie " I want this to work out BUT......we need a solution etc"

My horse kept getting kicked and it resulted in a nasty gash in his hind ,flies etc etc cleaning daily..this was over food and a youngster. We had to separeate with electric fencing which is fine now. The problem just got worse and I could see a broken bone in the making...!

You need to ie keep them in sectioned off bit. Am sure you could arrange something to stop the fighting etc too.

Or bring yours out to feed them??
 
I run an equestrian centre/livery yard.
We have a rule that no horse is to be fed hard feed in the field. If owners wish to feed their horse, they MUST bring the horse out. If anyone broke this rule they would be asked to leave.
I honestly cannot understand why you would be cross and send the youngsters owner a text message when the horses were just acting like horses. If anything, you should be apologising to her for almost causing an accident
 
I'm not sure if I understand this post properly to be honest or if I'm getting the wrong end of the stick.

You can't feed some horses without feeding them all unless you are feeding just the top dog, there is always going to be pecking order so there will always be fights.

Either feed them all, not at all or section the field off so you have an area where you can feed them, surely you can afford some second hand electic fencing and tape?

I don't think you should of text the lady that but that's easy for us to say, you obviously had a bad time and felt pretty fed up at the time and felt it needed to be said but really it's more about finding a way to feed them all safely not telling her what she should and shouldn't be doing with her youngstock.
 
just a couple of pointers to those who missed it!

OP had tried talking, texting, phoning - not just texting
She hadn't started to train Parelli - she had offered.

But I think the best advice about feeding all was to take her 2 of out of the field and tie them outside and leave the other liveries in the field. Given a little thought, sure OP would see that is just common sense and should really be standard practise. If however, you are sharing the feeding with the other livery and also supposed to be feeding the youngster and the other pony Willow, then the mugging won't stop. Try a call again, apologise and do say that you are very sorry if it came out wrong - blame it on your age! but can the 2 of you sit down to work out how to deal with this so both come out on top?
 
But if the situation hadn't happened in the first place there would be no need for the OP to have contacted the owner of the youngsters anyway. I imagine the lady who owns the youngsters is raging- I would be.
 
Luci07 said:
If however, you are sharing the feeding with the other livery and also supposed to be feeding the youngster and the other pony Willow, then the mugging won't stop.
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It is actually quite easy to feed several horses together in the field at one time - provided it is an established herd. It just takes a little commons sense and forward planning.

And like Charlie76 - I too would be raging.
 
If I had my own 2 in a field then yes I would feed them together.
In an unestablished heard of 5. No way. Especially with youngsters in it. Perhaps the baby does need manners but my attitude is that its a field, when they are in a field its their time they do what they want.
If you have to feed them all then I would as others have suggested, make an area with electric fencing so you can feed your established two, then the other established 3. Or if needs be the bully on her own.
I think you need to ring the owner and be a bit more sympathetic and say
"I understand she is a baby, I over reacted I apologise, I have an idea to sort the feeding out because feeding 5 at once is a bit risky anyway" and go from there.
How she trains her horse is her perrogative. Just avoid the situation in future. For the safety of all of those concerned. Sometimes to keep the peace we have to eat a bit of humble pie and comprimise.
 
charlie76 said:
I honestly cannot understand why you would be cross and send the youngsters owner a text message when the horses were just acting like horses. If anything, you should be apologising to her for almost causing an accident
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^^^^^ this; definitely agree. See it from the other livery's point of view; you come along and within days of arriving (I assume 'days' since you said this was the FIRST time you'd been up to feed) you are moaning about her horses (who were there first) and sending her complaining texts. No wonder she's leaving.... was that planned before you arrived, or decided at short notice AFTER you arrived? Just wondered :D
 
Omarkiam said:
I have explained this and actually headcollared the yearling myself and started working on him for them but they stated they knew nothing about parelli so did not want me using it on the eldest to try and sort her respect issues out. The first months rent for sole use of this land is due on the 1st which is sunday I believe, she is leaving sunday and not going to pay a penny leaving me with 0 days and 0 time too sort it out :(

Her reply too my texts this morning was ''That text upset me because Diasy is not dangerous she is just a baby'', I repliesd saying she may not be very dangerous now but when shes 16hh with no respect she will be!
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Luci07 - OP clearly states she has begun work with the yearling and her initial post about noises and stamping and whips would support the owners concern over parelli.

I would be concerned as OP seems quite young (this is reason she gives for being asked to leave 1st yard though surely she did not get younger in the time she was there?) and I doubt is qualified parelli so could get hurt or spoil pony through inexperience, or both.

Where young people are involved around my horses I am cautious. I would be very angry if I was owner in this situation but similarly if there is a problem it needs to be addressed.

Possibly in hindsight removing OP horses and feeding them and each looking after their own would have been best solution but moving forward apologising, blaming age for clumsy text and waiting to see if she actually leaves may be best bet. If she leaves OP can look for another sharer and learn from experience.
 
I think that it sounds a big mess!

From what I could gather, you moved your horses on, and the other lady has fed all the horses for x days, then the first time that it was your turn you had all these problems, got frightened, and started messing about "training" her horses and sent a fairly negative text to her about her horses. It also sounds a bit as though the other lady has been left with a lot of the checking etc to do, when you've only just arrived, as you can't always get there. Perhaps this lady has actually been a bit fed up about you all week, and the text was the final straw. Sorry if this is wrong, or too blunt, its just the way it comes across...

Anyway, for whatever reason, the lady doesn't seem to want to know, and is moving her horses, so thats that. You've tried to patch things up, which is good of you, but she has chosen to not communicate. Your next issue is how to resolve your own problems of rent/company etc.

If I were you, I would speak to the land owner, tell them the situation (matter of fact, not "she said, I said, her horse did xxx") and ask if you could just pay your share until you find someone else to share. Chances are, if value livery is rare around you, you shouldn't have any trouble. The landowner will probably prefer to have someone paying half for a period of time, than nobody paying anything. When you do find someone, make clear groundrules of who is doing what on what day, and how things are to be done.

Hope that things work out for you.
 
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LaurenBay said:
This ^^

I would be furious if someone had been waving a whip at my Horse and took it upon themselve to train my Horse. I do think you were right to say something, but I think you went the wrong way about it. I can understand why the other owner is annoyed.
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Amen! :rolleyes:

Honestly, so many things said/done on this thread are just asking for trouble...
 
Luci07 said:
just a couple of pointers to those who missed it!

OP had tried talking, texting, phoning - not just texting
She hadn't started to train Parelli - she had offered.
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That's not how I read it \/ \/ \/


Omarkiam said:
I have explained this and actually headcollared the yearling myself and started working on him for them but they stated they knew nothing about parelli so did not want me using it on the eldest to try and sort her respect issues out. The first months rent for sole use of this land is due on the 1st which is sunday I believe, she is leaving sunday and not going to pay a penny leaving me with 0 days and 0 time too sort it out :(

Her reply too my texts this morning was ''That text upset me because Diasy is not dangerous she is just a baby'', I repliesd saying she may not be very dangerous now but when shes 16hh with no respect she will be!
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amymay said:
It is actually quite easy to feed several horses together in the field at one time - provided it is an established herd. It just takes a little commons sense and forward planning.

And like Charlie76 - I too would be raging.
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Yep! I used to feed all 5 of my ex's brood mares in the field together - morning and night, all through winter. I just used to take out the two babies and my two riding horses.
 
Omarkiam said:
I have explained this and actually headcollared the yearling myself and started working on him for them but they stated they knew nothing about parelli so did not want me using it on the eldest to try and sort her respect issues out. The first months rent for sole use of this land is due on the 1st which is sunday I believe, she is leaving sunday and not going to pay a penny leaving me with 0 days and 0 time too sort it out

Her reply too my texts this morning was ''That text upset me because Diasy is not dangerous she is just a baby'', I repliesd saying she may not be very dangerous now but when shes 16hh with no respect she will be!
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Dear god. I would be moving as will.
 
ok ,having read your post the first thing that springs to mind,is how and why are these horses being fed bucket feeds in the field? That is absolutely 100% asking for trouble. Each horse needs to be caught up and removed ,individually,and taken to its bucket out of sight of the others. You could stop feeding bucket feeds altogether and feed extra hay in several piles in the field if the horses need extra food. So,stop the bucket feeds right away. Another option is to sell one of yours to make horse owning more affordable for you and also this would mean it will be easier to find somewhere to keep him as you will only be looking for a place for 1 and not 2. Sorry if this sounds harsh but it makes me livid when horses are kicking and fighting over feed which a well meaning human has put in front of them thinking they are being kind. its quite the opposite.
 
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Not a good situation to be in. A length of elkathene pipe is brillient for getting respect - no need to use it on the horse just spin it around and around - it makes a very scarey noise and scatters everyone rapidly.
 
It sounds to me like you meant well, although starting to train this other womans horse might not have been a good move i can understand how frustrating it must be to see a horse with issues which you think you can help with, and the owner doesnt seem to be boithered about fixing themselves so you try to help. With the feeding yes it may have been more sensible to take some of the horses out of the field but the other owner may have assured OP it would be fine to feed them together and once the horses see the feed it would probably be difficult to separate them especially if the youngster is as bad mannered as OP describes.

If I were you I would thank my lucky stars your horse isnt going to be around hers much longer as yours would probably be next in the firing line from her youngster!
 
I dont get this.

Why on earth cant you catch up your horses, take them out the field and feed them away from the other persons? If you need to feed theirs you can do that then too. Then they can kick each other if they have not been headcollared - owners responsibility and not yours.

Its been said, you just dont feed horses in the field together, and thinking you can chase and hit the other persons horse is wrong, teaching them ground manners has nothing to do with keeping them off another horses food when it has been fed in the field waiting for an accident to happen.
 
I only have my two in a field on their own, i give them a small bucket feed in a morning, whilst i change rugs, do hooves, fly spray etc..... I give my big one more feed than the little one, to ensure they both finish at the same time... even i occassionaly have a few issues with my two that respond to my voice and are not hungry. Now if someone else moved into my field - and then started to feed their horses and then started hitting mine with a whip I would not be a happy bunny.... in fact i would be waiting to have a quiet word in your ear!

As others have said, your on your what 3rd yard in less than 3 months..... ? youve already upset your latest "partner" dosent sound good now does it.
 
The OP is seriously in need of horse management lessons at a good BHS centre,either that or she's a troll. The situation is quite unbelievable.
 
If you can't afford to rent appropriate grazing for your horse ( and come winter 5 acres will not be enough for 5!) , fence it off etc. you should be seriously considering if you can afford two horses.
Nevermind the text sent to the other owner- it is none of your business what she does with her two year old.
As for feeding all these new horses in a field together and being surprised when there are kicks..
I feed my established horses together, but we're talking 2 or so in a field when this happens or if more the buckets are spaced out, I'm still taking a risk but they're my own horses and so established nobody fights.
 
I could easily feed 3 colts loose in the field in the depths of winter, BUT they are all mine and were accustomed to the routine, and were 'overseen' by a competent person who could intervene before there was an issue. I'm prepared to take the risk of an issue occuring. Introducing another couple of horses and then having someone else trying to feed them all would have caused problems.

My youngsters can all be viewed as being little sods on occasion. They arent, they are just babies either being horses or pushing boundaries. One of them terrifed my non horsey mother tonight. In her eyes he was trying to kill the other one, in my eyes he chased off the other one in a relatively calm way (no contact was made etc). Knowing the difference and how to handle it comes with experience.

I would be RAGING if anyone dared to try and 'train my horses using parelli!' In fact I think I would just about murder anyone who did that!
 
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