Laafet
Well-Known Member
Firstly I do appreciate that 2020 has been really rubbish for a lot of people so I am in no way putting down other peoples problems. I am just really struggling with myself at the moment and where I go from here.
After 30 years of riding, 20 years of owning horses and competing/working with horses I am now at a complete loss as to what I do next. I have always had to make do and mend but that's ok, I have done well considering and had a lot of fun. But now things are not fun. My current horse is 17 and has decided he's had enough of training. That is fine, he's given me 9 years of ups and downs and education. I wouldn't pass him on as that wouldn't be right, he owes me nothing and is the type that would be easily abused for his easy going nature. He copes with hacking once or twice a week but is still sharp. So he's here to stay until one of his health problems becomes too much of an issue.
My trainer suggested looking for a horse on loan to fill his shoes, she seemed to think that there would be someone out there with a reasonable horse that would appreciate the high level of care and training and topclass home I could offer in these uncertain times. 7 months later, a very expensive membership of Right Horse Right Home, which has yielded nothing but time wasters and constant trawling of Facebook etc I have had no luck whatsoever. I was one of those people around 12 years ago loaning out my Medium horse as I was in a sticky situation, but these sorts of horses are so rare and competition fierce. I have had to accept that as an over 25 rider, I am no longer attractive to those with nice horses to loan out despite my other assets. What has been left has been horses out of work so a huge risk as to whether they can do my job, sick, lame or dangerous.
I have massively down graded my expectations to try and find just something that a - has 3 even paces and b - can maintain a steady contact. Even this is proving so hard.
I have a small budget to buy but no where near enough for the crazy prices horses are making at the moment, I have tried ex-racers as I worked with racehorses for years and have successfully reschooled and sold these types but even there I am drawing blanks.
I did find one nice horse but his owner rejected me, I am not sure why, to be honest I think she had so many suitable people she could take her pick and that person was not me.
To be honest my confidence which was fine, is now fragile. I know I need more to save more money and am doing that. I just feel really down and like a fraud, trying to promote myself to find that special horse when I haven't trained since March or competed since January. I have tried to find horses to ride or take schoolmaster lessons, but literally every avenue I try, I draw a blank so I am finding it so hard to be positive. Having Nickel is making it harder as I have him to do twice a day and I work full time.
I have tried a lot of horses but as I sit here, in a fair amount of pain after being buried by a potential horse that appeared to be fine and I thought was the one, I am considering do I have to accept that I no longer have a place in all of this. I just cannot afford to buy that basic horse to train into my next best friend. I have been keeping optimistic, but each failure and rejection just makes all of this journey so painful.
I don't know what I expect to come from this post, I just want to feel better putting down in writing and getting how I feel off my chest. I will admit I am very depressed and sadly I can't see a way out of this at the moment as I have always lived for doing things with my horses, I live my own so pretty much my whole life to this point has revolved around them outside of work.
After 30 years of riding, 20 years of owning horses and competing/working with horses I am now at a complete loss as to what I do next. I have always had to make do and mend but that's ok, I have done well considering and had a lot of fun. But now things are not fun. My current horse is 17 and has decided he's had enough of training. That is fine, he's given me 9 years of ups and downs and education. I wouldn't pass him on as that wouldn't be right, he owes me nothing and is the type that would be easily abused for his easy going nature. He copes with hacking once or twice a week but is still sharp. So he's here to stay until one of his health problems becomes too much of an issue.
My trainer suggested looking for a horse on loan to fill his shoes, she seemed to think that there would be someone out there with a reasonable horse that would appreciate the high level of care and training and topclass home I could offer in these uncertain times. 7 months later, a very expensive membership of Right Horse Right Home, which has yielded nothing but time wasters and constant trawling of Facebook etc I have had no luck whatsoever. I was one of those people around 12 years ago loaning out my Medium horse as I was in a sticky situation, but these sorts of horses are so rare and competition fierce. I have had to accept that as an over 25 rider, I am no longer attractive to those with nice horses to loan out despite my other assets. What has been left has been horses out of work so a huge risk as to whether they can do my job, sick, lame or dangerous.
I have massively down graded my expectations to try and find just something that a - has 3 even paces and b - can maintain a steady contact. Even this is proving so hard.
I have a small budget to buy but no where near enough for the crazy prices horses are making at the moment, I have tried ex-racers as I worked with racehorses for years and have successfully reschooled and sold these types but even there I am drawing blanks.
I did find one nice horse but his owner rejected me, I am not sure why, to be honest I think she had so many suitable people she could take her pick and that person was not me.
To be honest my confidence which was fine, is now fragile. I know I need more to save more money and am doing that. I just feel really down and like a fraud, trying to promote myself to find that special horse when I haven't trained since March or competed since January. I have tried to find horses to ride or take schoolmaster lessons, but literally every avenue I try, I draw a blank so I am finding it so hard to be positive. Having Nickel is making it harder as I have him to do twice a day and I work full time.
I have tried a lot of horses but as I sit here, in a fair amount of pain after being buried by a potential horse that appeared to be fine and I thought was the one, I am considering do I have to accept that I no longer have a place in all of this. I just cannot afford to buy that basic horse to train into my next best friend. I have been keeping optimistic, but each failure and rejection just makes all of this journey so painful.
I don't know what I expect to come from this post, I just want to feel better putting down in writing and getting how I feel off my chest. I will admit I am very depressed and sadly I can't see a way out of this at the moment as I have always lived for doing things with my horses, I live my own so pretty much my whole life to this point has revolved around them outside of work.
