Should i Sell/Retire/Loan/Be patient!

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ali-bee87

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Hi, i am relatively new to this forum, have only posted once before!

I have a gelding who i bought as a confidence giver, safe and sensible and to have some fun on, hunt, hunter trial and jump XC etc, and generally hack out, beach ride, you gte the idea! lol

The first three weeks were great, he was everything i had expected him to be, a little spooky but otherwise nice to do and ride. I am a novice rider and found him an easy ride out hacking in company.

After three weeks had passed i decided he had settled enough to have a lesson on, which didn't go well, he threw his head around and just generally went fast in any direction! We investigated and found that his saddle was too tight at his wither, when i bought him he was very lean to the point of being underweight, but had just came out of winter and was in full work doing dressage and lots of schooling.

Anyway it 3 weeks to sort the problem, througih 3 weeks off work visits by physio, back people and saddlers, he finally felt better and for a couple of weeks he was back to normal out hacking.

i then again went for a lesson and he behaved the same as before, however i ha him the school by myself and he behaved well, and i have videos to prove it to myself that he can go really lovely with me on his back! He behaves the same for 2 very experienced riders have had ride him for me. we have since had one lovely perfect lesson where he behaved like a pro dressage horse and jumped a 3 ft course with ease then next time he was a pain again.

fast forward 2 months of going from good to bad i went out hacking with a friend, who's horse spooked badly, scarring mine so badly that i came off, since then i have been too scared to get back on as he has been on his toes ever since and i spent a night in hospital with back and neck injuries. I finally got back on tonight and he napped which he has never done before and then a car came and he bucked and tried to run off home, he stopped when he was asked to strongly but he is seriously knocking my confidence now and i just don't know what to do, he is my second horse and i have had ponies as a child and was always very confident even after coming off before but he just seems to knock my confidence more than anything else as i never know what to expect with him. he is good on the ground in everyway and too tack up and lunge and normally good to hack alone or in company except this week! although they have just came in for the winter at night and he was clipped on thursday so that may make a difference!

Sorry for the length i am just so confused what to do, i just want a horse than i can ride and enjoy without dreading it!

thanks for any help or advice in advance!!
 
He actually sounds like a nice boy but the two of you have just had a bit of a confidence breakdown. This is very very normal with new horses.

Can you get someone to school him for you for a couple of weeks? You could do lots of groundwork with him to get your confidence back with him and build a bit of a bond.

Its very early days yet - I certainly wouldnt be thinking of getting rid of him just yet!
 
Agree with the above. He hasn't been doing any work and you probably feel a bit nervous around him, which then makes him feel nervous.

I would suggest getting someone else to ride him for a bit, and give him some work to calm him down. Do the ground work and "play" with him, and maybe you have a bit of riding on a different horse to get your confidence back.
 
He has had two massive changes this week - in at night so more energy and clipping - more frisky. (Note for the future, don't do both at the same time, let them sweat for a bit!).
I would lunge him before you ride, don't ride when it is windy and horrible as he is bound to be on his toes. He has lost confidence with you as well as you with him, it is a partnership. No hard food at all, just hay, if he loses weight so be it he can always put it on again.
Hit the rescue remedy before you ride, I am a cynic but it is fab.
 
I would suggest getting someone in to work with you and the horse to rebuild your confidence in each other. Definately cut all hard feed out of the diet and consider adding in magnesium as this can help calm them down somewhat. We've had brilliant results with this with my sister's tb.
Make sure the saddle is still fitting well and then only ride in company for a few weeks whilst your both getting your confidence back.
 
He sounds like a fundamentally nice horse, but both of you have taken knocks to your confidence. It really is worth getting someone experienced in to work with him for 2-4 weeks and then start to work with the two of you. Don't pressurize yourself into doing things that you are not ready for.

The problem with parting with him at the moment is that with another move he may become a really problem horse and pushed from pillar to post. At least if you get some professional work done with him even if you don't feel up to riding him he will get a good home.

I feel for you. I also fell off and did all sorts of things as a teenager. But a hard fall as an adult - particularly one that lands you in hospital really can mess with you because to be honest it's quite sensible not to want to get injured. My bad fall was 7 weeks ago and I've had Bree professionally schooled some and ridden out by confident people for the first 4 weeks of that, then I've had a couple of weeks lessons on her and today for the first time I really feel back to being me riding.

Paula
 
Thank you everyone, always feels better when you have told someone about how you feel and got some advice!

I have cut out all hard feed except fast fibre as he doesn't eat enough haylage to give him his fibre, i have added magnesium powder and had his saddle checked last week and its still fine, so thats hopefully going to make a difference.

Yes i think perhaps clipping and bringing in at night at the same time was a bad idea, i of course realised this the day after clipping!

He is a nice horse and i really do like him, when he is good to ride he is everything i would want in a horse, but its such a fine line between being good and him being bad enough to put me off!

Thanks for the advice re getting someone to ride him, i think i will ask my yard owner to school him for me a few times a week and maybe get someone to hack him for me as well that way i can see how he goes for others and hopeully build my confidence. I will also try to get lessons at the riding school i started at, and build my confidence back up again.

I think its exactly right i am nervous around him and nervous while riding him now and its not helping as he is very sensitvie to his rider and handler. He is better in company but so am i, and this make a big difference i think, but very difficult to ride out with people all the time as its a very small yard and everyone keeps very diffrent timetables, but i am sure if i explain to a few friends there they would be happy to let me know when they were going out so i could try to ride out with them.

I will update in a few weeks after i have had time to organise everything! :) *fingers crossed* for both of us. I really don't want to sell unless its last resort.

Thanks everyone! :D
 
Just watch the fast fibre - I know its got nothing in it but for some strange reason it sends my boy up the wall?? I think its the sugar beet as he's not good with it. He is handling it just now as he is in quite a bit of work but its something to think about.

Oh, and another vote for Rescue Remedy :D

When Arnie was doing all sorts of crap with me a friend told me to "Bore Myself To Bravery" and it really works. Basically, you get on and go for a gentle walk - it can be just yards if needs be. When you hit a point where you are bored senseless with that you move up a bit. 3 years ago I was back on a leadrein as I was so scared of my boy - yesterday I did 8 miles on the beach, most of it galloping - we both had lost confidence in each other but it will come back if you take your time :D
 
As others have said - you've both had a confidence knock. We've all been through it with horses, so don't give up. The fact that he has come in at night, been clipped and is in less work will not have helped! Haylage can be quite heating - it is usually cut earlier than hay which means the sugar levels are higher. Hay is much better - feed him as much as he'll eat and give him a magnesium based calmer in a small feed of something like Dengie Hifi Molasses free. Keep a strict eye on his saddle - horses can change shape quickly and if the saddle starts pinching, he'll let you know. Ride him little and often - don't put either of you under any pressure and don't let other people make you feel pressurised. It is still very early days for both of you.
 
Gosh,

Don't know if there is a history there or something. You've got a long way to go before you part company with your lad. Serious falls have a real impact on you - especially as you get older. I used to bounce as a teenager and thought nothing of it. But you don't so much as you get on!

Get help with the confidence issues - A lot of people find NLP useful. There are dedicated equine NLP practitioners out there - or any number of books on the subject. (And no - I am not an NLP practitioner - but I have used it, as has my daughter, for horse related confidence issues.)

You are also well into the "new pony horrors" period when ned decides to see what he can get away with. They all do it to a greater or lessor extent. Hang on and they'll come through. You can try ground work for a while if getting on is too difficult.

If you do decide to switch from fast fiber I am a great fan of Cool and Collected (also A&P). It made a massive difference to my daughter's jumpy show jumper.
 
Horses, even the sanest ones, can throw their toys out when in a new home. Its stressful for them, new routine, new things to look at. As well as the food, I would look very carefully at how much work he was doing before you bought him and the level of rider as well as the feeding. Excellent idea to have someone you have confidence in to work him for you and they will probably work him harder than you could,. Change your instructor as you don't seem to have confidence. Build yourself up. The vast majority of problems I have seen with horses in a new home is either doing too much too quickly, changing dramatically how they were fed or simply not keeping up the workload. In other words not rocket science, just a bit of patience to let the horse settle.
 
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