Silly post. Really miss my boys.

Cedars

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This is a really stupid post, sorry.

My ex and I split up not quite a year ago. We had two beautiful, incredible black labs together. He kept them and is doing the most amazing job of looking after them. I still see them (and him, obviously) weekly at least, and either we go for lush long walks or we stay and cuddle and watch tv together (me and the dogs, not me and the ex!!).

So I feel really pathetic for saying I miss them like hell :( they have the best life they could hope for, he does an exceptional job of caring for them. I still get to see absolutely loads of them, and that could have been so different if we hadn't stayed friends etc.. But I'm having a bad day today and I just want to cuddle up with BigDog or play with LittleDog. I'm not in the position to have another any time soon, nowhere near - and I know we made the right choice. But I still miss them so much it's like a physical ache sometimes.

I know there aren't really any answers, but just wanted to share with people who understand how much your dogs are a part of you. Not sure my non-dog owning friends get how painful it is not to be able to stroke my boys' gorgeous faces whenever I want to or escape on a walk with them for a bit. And nearly one year on I feel like I should be "over it" by now, or maybe adjusted to it better than I am.

Pathetic, I know. x
 

Dizzydancer

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It's not pathetic! I can't imagine how hard it is for you- and as much as it's lovely you see them once a week it probably makes it even harder really as you havnt lost them completely so can't "grieve" for them. Not that I would suggest you changed anything!! Just think at least you only have a couple more days then you can cuddle with them!
My lab is my baby so I can only imagine how hard it is for you- I hate working away 2 nights and not seeing him!
 

Chiffy

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So sorry. I remember your heartache when it was all first happening. Try to look on the bright side for now. At least they are well looked after and you do get to see them. I hope sometime in the future you will have a dog or dogs of your own to share your life. It may not be these dogs that are the present loves of your life but there will be others to love in the future. Hang on in there, we all understand that its hard.
 

Cedars

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Aah, thanks guys. Just having a really low day (had a kidney infection last week and still feeling very poorly) and it's just not getting any easier. I expected that it would become less painful over time but it doesn't. It's a bit less sharp I suppose, in that I'm now not sobbing in my car after saying goodbye to them! But the ache is still there.

It was also three years since we lost our girl this week. She's now been dead longer than she was here and that changeover feels really odd. I guess in the process of remembering the beauty of her time and her final days, it's brought up all my worries that I won't be there for them, that they'll get old and I won't be there to notice their little signs etc. BigDog has gone grey under his chin (he's only 3!) and when I noticed my ex said "oh that's been like that ages" and I just thought oh, I hadn't noticed because I don't see them every day like he does :(

Aaaaaaah whinging and moaning doesn't get us anywhere, does it. Still, feels a little better to have shared. Thanks for listening. xx
 

Alec Swan

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I think that you've been incredibly realistic, sensible and caring. Metaphorically demanding half of each asset (dog), is such an easy trap to fall in to. Mostly we do it for ourselves if we're honest.

Truly caring for your dogs, as you clearly do, is wanting what's best for them, and accepting that for them, staying with your OH is the best thing, then you're being considerate and caring, I'd say. If having a whinge and a moan helps with exfoliating the sadness and the loss, then I'd say that's fine. Sometimes releasing our feelings does indeed get us somewhere. Sometimes it's the path to acceptance.

I'd say that you're managing really well!

Alec.
 

SadKen

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Alec put it better than I could. Really feel for you, I faced a similar dilemma some years ago when OH was being difficult, and it was heartbreaking thinking about it never mind dealing with it in reality.

One day there will be another dog for you, who will be all the more loved and appreciated due to your experience. Lucky dog! X
 
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