single and searching (unsuccessfully) HELP!!!

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tillytime

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As title really.

Been single for 2 years now and REALLY want to find me a decent man to spend time with! ;)

On loads of dating site - but all completely useless. Seems to be a lack of intelligence amongst the men on there! :rolleyes:
Try to socialise, but coz all my friends are settled with families thats not easy!


Please Please help - I'm lonely and getting desperate! Lol :o
 
What age group are you in and your location may help. Dont worry I was 51 before I got married and had given up looking. Met my husband at work 13 years ago, we have been married for nearly 6 years now so dont give up. He loves the horses and helps me a lot including filming our dressage tests.

There is someone out there and may be someone on here will introduce you to someone.
 
There is someone out there and may be someone on here will introduce you to someone.[/QUOTE]

Awwww, I'll keep my fingers crossed! :)

I'm 29! Argh :eek:

My worry is that I want children and time is rapidly slipping away. I know lots of people who have kids in their 30's, but by the time I eventually meet someone I really will be pushing it! :(
 
onemoretime said:
What age group are you in and your location may help. Dont worry I was 51 before I got married and had given up looking. Met my husband at work 13 years ago, we have been married for nearly 6 years now so dont give up. He loves the horses and helps me a lot including filming our dressage tests.

There is someone out there and may be someone on here will introduce you to someone.
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Awwww, I'll keep my fingers crossed! :)

I'm 29! Argh :eek:

My worry is that I want children and time is rapidly slipping away. I know lots of people who have kids in their 30's, but by the time I eventually meet someone I really will be pushing it! :(
 
/QUOTE
My worry is that I want children and time is rapidly slipping away. I know lots of people who have kids in their 30's, but by the time I eventually meet someone I really will be pushing it! :([/QUOTE]

Top tip: Don't ever say that to a guy you want to date! Jeeze all my male friends would tell ya thats their number one turn off. :D lol


What area are you in?
 
Muchadoaboutnothing said:
/QUOTE
My worry is that I want children and time is rapidly slipping away. I know lots of people who have kids in their 30's, but by the time I eventually meet someone I really will be pushing it! :(
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Top tip: Don't ever say that to a guy you want to date! Jeeze all my male friends would tell ya thats their number one turn off. :D lol


What area are you in?[/QUOTE]

Lol, you're right ..... Its a good one when you meet a bloke you don't like tho!!! :)

I live just outside of Bristol, and don't want to move away ..... No surprise I'm single I guess!!!!! :)
 
tillytime said:
Awwww, I'll keep my fingers crossed! :)

I'm 29! Argh :eek:

My worry is that I want children and time is rapidly slipping away. I know lots of people who have kids in their 30's, but by the time I eventually meet someone I really will be pushing it! :(
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Goodness, you are still really young. I had my career and house and was really sorted financially etc before i met my hubby. I met him when i was 32, married at 34 and had my son at 35.
You have loads at time. If you don't have much of a social life due to your friends being married, then why don't you join a sports club or something where there will be people who are your sort of age.
Things will happen when they are meant to. Try not to worry about it too much and get out and enjoy yourself. Mr Right will come along when the time is right.
 
I think maybe you're problem is you say you're 'searching'. That seems to often give out a vibe I am sure of it and is an immediate turn off to men. The best thing is to NOT think about it and just get on with having fun and enjoying yourself. I am a believer that things just happen and you shouldn't try and force them to happen. I wouldn't say I've ever had a relationship and I am 32! I have dated people for a few months at a time but have got bored and got rid! I think i really just wanted to go and have fun with friends. However, like you most of my friends are attached and many have kids. Personally I am not fussed about kids, if it happened then so be it but I am certainly not desperate to pop any out! Lol

I though did join a dating site - only the free one Plenty of Fish. Some people are not keen on the site but to be honest I have found it ok, chatted to a few nice blokes and been on some dates and so far I have not met any 'weirdos' as i find it easy enough to weed them out to start with.

It certainly isn't my preferred way of meeting someone but my social life is zilch at the moment and as I bought a house last year I cannot afford to be out each weekend.

Depending on what type of job you're in though - can you not arrange works nights out? They are a good alternative to going out with mates.
 
Maybe I should have titled it single and SHOULD BE searching. I keep reminding myself taht 'you always meet someone when you least expect it'!

I am REALLY NOT expecting to meet someone any time soon ..... and still doesn't work! :D
 
I'm in Bath! Could set you up with my husbands doctor friends?!

My brother in law is 27 and just wonderful, he's amazing with children, kind, funny, very loyal and he has always struggled with finding someone becuase he works in a mainly man environment and he finds it hard to approach women when out becuase he gets shy. Anyway my point is that where you work is normally where you'd meet someone, (I'm a nurse and husband is a doctor) and when your friends are get into relationships aswel it makes it even harder!
My sister joined a dating site and had some success though, not sure which site
 
The thing you have to remember is you're NOT old! lol.

i think I am quite lazy (and apparently too fussy) when it comes to men. I don't see it as fussy but I am not prepared to settle for someone just so i have someone. I know loads of people who have never been single and I find that odd.

However, I think also being single for a long time does make it harder to meet people as you get used to doing your own thing and it's then difficult to involve and make time for someone else. I don't have any great tips cos I amnot one to go out speed dating or such like. I do however have a 2nd date on saturday with a guy i met through the dating site so we'll see eh! lol
 
Aww bless you, you've got years on your side yet, I'm sure 'Mr Right' is round the corner. I'm 41 and have just decided to get back into the whole dating thing after 6 years of single life, and I know I'm going to be really fussy and cautious so if anyone knows any tall, dark, handsome & patient 40 somethink gentleman in Hampshire let me know ;) Oh and he has to be horsey :D
 
X
Mummytotwo said:
I'm in Bath! Could set you up with my husbands doctor friends?!

My brother in law is 27 and just wonderful, he's amazing with children, kind, funny, very loyal and he has always struggled with finding someone becuase he works in a mainly man environment and he finds it hard to approach women when out becuase he gets shy. Anyway my point is that where you work is normally where you'd meet someone, (I'm a nurse and husband is a doctor) and when your friends are get into relationships aswel it makes it even harder!
My sister joined a dating site and had some success though, not sure which site
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Thats strange, I too work in nursing.... Waiting for some young sexy gp's to be employed at ny practice! Always seems to be female doctors now. :-(
 
Sorry but- Don't listen to anyone that tells you "you have time on your side" and "Mr Right is round the corner", "you'll find someone when you least expect it" :p . This is what people said to me 10 years ago and at 40 and still single they are still saying it to me - get out there and put yourself in the position to meet more people there is less and less choice as you get older as people get married and have kids and believe me men don't get any more intelligent as they get older ;)
 
I used to live just outside Bristol and between the ages of 21 and 32 worked in pubs/clubs a couple of nights a week. I used to get asked out a lot and went on dates with a lot of nice chaps and did meet 3 men during that time (11 years!) that I had very serious relationships with.
 
The pub thing is a good idea - def a good way of meeting people (and earn a few extra pennies for date nights :D)

Do persist with the dating sites, i met my now fiance through one :D i quite enjoyed speaking to people online in an evening and getting to know them before actually meeting. On the one's i did meet (think it was 7 in total) you already know bits about them so the conversation comes quite easy. I never met any weirdos but i never met at my house, always in a public place. Something my OH said was that he wouldn't talk to people if they didn't have a photo up so that might be worth thinking about if you haven't - there's got to be an attraction there ;) I also made a couple of friends out of the blokes i met (we got on but the 'spark' wasn't there) and we'd sometimes go out socially.....you can then eye up potential people for each other ;)
 
You might not think it,because we don't when we are there, but you are really young. Just enjoy life and things will happen when they are meant to. My first marriage was a disaster and when it ended I relished the sanity it allowed. I married again when I was 40 and have never been happier.

As far as children go, well you don't know if you want them until you have them I love my two sons, from the first marriage, very dearly and wouldn't be without them. But one is autistic and the other developed schizophrenia at university so life is not easy.
 
Hi Moo Wills,

Which site did you use please?

(Someone else still looking!)
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I used dating direct - i thik there was a small fee for a number of months. Another friend also used it when she moved area and within 3 months had met someone and moved in with him. I think as long as your careful it can be fun meeting people......if you wanted to you could be out every night ;)
 
juliette said:
Have you considered working in a pub one or two nights a week? It's a good way to meet people in a more natural environment and you are being paid for the priviledge!
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that wouldn't be much use to me, I don't like men who drink!

sussexbythesea said:
Sorry but- Don't listen to anyone that tells you "you have time on your side" and "Mr Right is round the corner", "you'll find someone when you least expect it" :p .
Click to expand...

People used to say that sort of thing to me, I've never met any man in the last 15 years whom I would have married, or who showed the slightest inclination of wanting to marry me.

I'm going to get me a load of cats!
 
[/QUOTE]

Top tip: Don't ever say that to a guy you want to date! Jeeze all my male friends would tell ya thats their number one turn off. :D lol
[/QUOTE]

I disagree - it took me a while to fine one who DIDN'T want kids!
 
I totally feel your pain! I'm giving up with dating sights....waste of money :-(

If anyone in the Essex areas knows any nice single men that could put up with a horsey girl please send them my way! :-) (preferably between 25-35)
 
I'm on 3 dating sites, have been on others - but left coz they were no good! So far they are all free sites, so wonder if thats the mistake. Don't want to pay tho if I'm just as unsuccessful. Put up several different pictures and kept the info bit up to date.
I seem to attract people who I'm really not interested in. Have met one guy, who I now class as my best mate, and would probably have entered into a relatioship with if he didn't live the other end of the country!!!!

Don't fancy working in a pub, tried it for a while but didn't enjoy it one bit!

Where oh where have all the good men gone?
 
Oh you so sound like you're doing a me. You find 'the guy you could easily date' but it just so happens he's the one who lives far away so you don't want to go there as it's unlikely to work. Ask yourself though, IF he actually lived nearby would you date him?

I quite often can find many reasons why someone is not right and I am a grass may be greener type person. I believe that I will 'know' if I meet someone but in all honestly i am not that sure. I can normally find some reason why they are not for me. I reckon i am a commitment phobe!!

Do you think this could be the issue? Do friends tell you you're too fussy? Do people say "I can't believe you're single?". I get those comments all the time!
 
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