Smacking your horse

Queenofdiamonds

Queenofdiamonds

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We've had a big fall out at the yard this weekend. I've been told, amongst other things, That i am clearly not experienced enough for my 4 year old sports horse. [Despite having plenty of youngsters before.. I've not had complaints before]

I've never had anyone say anything negative like this [Obviously had constructive critism.. but CC doesn't leave me feeling like this.. I'm always happy to take on board other peoples suggestions], And although the person who said this to me has the grand total of one months experience around [a very well behaved, so no experience himself of a challenging horse] horses, It's made me doubt myself - Are others thinking the same?

The qualities/actions this person listed are things people usually tell me they like about me - I am very quiet with them, i don't scream or shout, I don't force an animal to do anything, I ask them and if they refuse i find out why it is refusing and work through it.

He actually said 'When he kicks off you don't do anything, X battered him for kicking off when they fetched him from the field and he stopped it'.. He never kicks off with me though?

There have been 3 occasions i've struggled with him - The first time I bathed him, He messed around, but in the end i got the job done with no stress, he stood quietly for twenty minutes while i rinsed his mane out and draped the hose all over him etc. Once on the lunge - Which i didn't give in over, The lunge line physically snapped [My fault] - I cannot pull another lunge line out of my arse in order to continue? And putting a bridle on - This was nothing to do with confidence though, He kept putting his head up, So unless other horse people can grow 8 inches, I'm guessing i'm not the only one who would struggle in this situation. These are not things i consider abnormal for a 4 year old horse though.

Apparently he is 'clearly ill' because he 'looks down' and should be kicking off more [Even though two minutes previously it was implied i can't handle my horses so called tantrums?]

So basically i'm being told my horse should be kicking off because he's a youngster and that's normal, but i should batter him for doing so.

Some of the other comments i don't mind - Mucking out etc. Everyone has their own ways of doing things. But i'm really feeling low about the comments regarding my methods and that they clearly point to a lack of experience.

Everyone else has said to ignore them, But i can't help dwelling on it a little.
 
Things like this really stick in my mind too so I know exactly how you feel. I'm afraid my stock response now is to nod, smile, thank them and carry on as I was anyway! ;)
 
I think if it is working for you and your horse then your critic is sticking their nose in where it don't belong. I know which of you I'd rather have handle my boy :) chin up xx
 
Emilieu said:
I think if it is working for you and your horse then your critic is sticking their nose in where it don't belong. I know which of you I'd rather have handle my boy :) chin up xx
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What makes me laugh is he's never had a difficult horse to handle. his partners horse [Who is the only horse he has experience with, and they have had for a month now] is perfectly behaved on the ground [My disabled mother has happily turned him out] and he doesn't ride so i don't really know how he dare comment on me. No one else has said anything to me [Or at least, Not to my face, YO told me to ignore him as he knows nothing about horses].

He has also been googling my horses sarcoid problem - At the end of the day that's between me and my vet, Not him. He tried to say my horse is in pain and if don't 'get it seen to' he will. I told him go ahead as he will be paying for wasted vets call outs, not me.

He told me it is contagious and i am risking the other horses [Little does he know one of the YOs horses has sarcoids too, So if he starts again i'm just going to bring that up and ask him if he's going to go have a go at her aswell for 'risking' other horses]. He told someone my horse will have to be put down!

I don't claim to be the worlds best handler. I can't even ride english anymore - I look a sack of *****. I ride western mainly because it's kinder on my back. I've never pretended to be anything i'm not - I get on with my little life and i'm happy.

I really don't know why i'm letting this get to me, I've known him for a very long time and i know he's just being an arse. I think i need a slap.
 
Nope, someone else needs a slap personally. And that would be lightly if I found someone had battered my horse.

Why I dislike livery yards. 80% feel the need to voice their opinion and refuse to accept any others at the same time. If it was up to me, I'd always go for seclusion and anti-socialism everytime lol! Just me and my neds ;) So much more easier. Do things your way then.


But that's not an option for everyone. Keep your chin up, say you do not wish for his opinion and to kindly butt out and carry on exactly as you are.
 
The only way to survive yards is to ignore I am afraid .
However on the sarcoids they can infect other horses If the sarcoid becomes raw you MUST keep it well covered with a barrier cream to prevent the flies getting in and carrying the virus to other horses where it can get in by the fly landing on a cut or nick of some kind all wounds and nicks on other horses must be kept well covered during the fly season if horses on the yard have sarcoids.
I can understand a new owner reading up on something they had not come across before however its bizarre he's saying he is going to treat it if you don't do you think he's a little ' odd' .
 
CS - Not wanting to cause anymore arguments i've just decided to not ask anyone to do anything with my horse, Then no one can argue about how well behaved he is, or not, Or how many 'batterings' he needs.

Apparently he was complaining because my horse bit him too? Stop standing in front of his effing stable then? He does bite people he doesn't know - He is just trying it on. He doesn't bite me as he is pushed away as soon as he tries. He's soon learnt that biting = no attention/fuss/scratches and if he's really really persistant he may get a flick on the neck but nothing more.

He doesn't do it hard/agressively.
 
Gads he sounds like a proper horror. Sometimes it frustrates me more when people who don't have a clue criticise - it is harder to argue with them when they are Sooooooooo badly in the wrong! Do the nod smile thing that bikerchick suggested, better than getting impotently wound up. Or start scaremongering. Tell him sarcoids spread to humans, particularly the ones who smell of bull poo... ;)
 
Goldenstar said:
The only way to survive yards is to ignore I am afraid .
However on the sarcoids they can infect other horses If the sarcoid becomes raw you MUST keep it well covered with a barrier cream to prevent the flies getting in and carrying the virus to other horses where it can get in by the fly landing on a cut or nick of some kind all wounds and nicks on other horses must be kept well covered during the fly season if horses on the yard have sarcoids.
I can understand a new owner reading up on something they had not come across before however its bizarre he's saying he is going to treat it if you don't do you think he's a little ' odd' .
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They weren't raw but are now due to a kick in the field that made it bleed - However, He is now stabled because of it and i do put a barrier cream on it and it is quickly drying out again.

My issue with him 'voicing his concerns' was the blunt, uninformed way he put it across. I would have had no problem with him asking for a quiet word and putting any concerns to me in person [He did this over facebook and phonecall about 10 minutes after i left the yard!]
 
Aww I understand why you're bothered but I think you've said it all that he has no right to criticise! Even if he was experienced its none of his business how you prefer to handle your horse as you know the horse best surely! People are always conflicting when it comes to smacking etc. Personally I like to avoid it but with the young gelding I am riding I have had to be more physical (although still more of a sharp tap than a smack) with him as he has barged and bitten me very hard which has bruised badly and I can't let him keep doing that! If the horse is acting worried or confused (tb doesn't really like baths either but would not smack him over that) then I wouldn't hit either, I think most people are the same, best to start off too kind and firm up than to go in all guns blazing brandishing a big stick/hosepipe!
 
Tell him to mind his own business, if its not effecting him he shouldn't be commenting. I find 'yes I was just about to say that myself' a fairly good standard reply. I'm not really one for shouting or smacking. I prefer getting the horse to actually want to do as I ask rather than because its forced to & if necessary treating the cause for its behavior in the first place. I have shouted, smacked, kicked & used chains & chifneys if I think they're needed but generally I find there's other ways of doing things. I refuse to ever lose a fight but I pick my battles very carefully. It's worked well for me, any horse that I've had or handled regularly has always had good manners & been well behaved to handle.
 
Queenofdiamonds said:
They weren't raw but are now due to a kick in the field that made it bleed - However, He is now stabled because of it and i do put a barrier cream on it and it is quickly drying out again.

My issue with him 'voicing his concerns' was the blunt, uninformed way he put it across. I would have had no problem with him asking for a quiet word and putting any concerns to me in person [He did this over facebook and phonecall about 10 minutes after i left the yard!]
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He's definatly odd, smile ignore discuss with yard owner If necessary it spoils the enjoyment when you get one of these on the yard .
 
Take a step back. You are letting the opinions of one man who has a month of experience with a good horse bother you. It sounds like if he carries on he will dig his own grave sooner or later. Step away from the crazy man and leave him to it.
 
And my understanding of sarcoids is they are only infectious if the target horse is predisposed. If you are interested the liverpool university pages on the subject are worth a read.
 
Naturally said:
And my understanding of sarcoids is they are only infectious if the target horse is predisposed. If you are interested the liverpool university pages on the subject are worth a read.
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That's fine and dandy unless your horse is predisposed.
 
He sounds like an absolute delight. I'd be inclined to explain (with a smile on your face and the sweetest tone) to him that your horse isn't, in fact, his horse in disguise, and that only issues that affect him are his business. Everything else - from the healthcare of your horse to what colour tubtrugs you use - are your concern and yours alone. Should he have concerns about the welfare of your horse, he's welcome to discuss these with the YO.

Change your mindset :) People like this special chap are a mine of hilarity. and if you keep a diary or journal you might even be able to publish some of the more outrageous gems. You could even make some cash out of him (changing his name, of course...wouldn't want his dear mother realising what everyone else has long known) :D

He sounds like an Olympic-level imbecile :D
 
Am I right in reading that someone 'battered' your horse when they brought it in.....

I'd be ignoring the numpty, and getting to the bottom of whoever has been belting my young horse.
 
not read through all the replies...but you have to think that as a youngster you,r laying the foundations for his future.Everytime he gets a smack he,ll associate his experience with being punished.It sounds to me your doing fab ignore this nosey parker !!
 
Always the way - those with little experience become instant experts, and throw their weight around!

It's generally only real horsemen and women who have the humility to accept that they cannot know everything, and that although everyone does things differently, that doesn't necessarily mean they're doing it wrong.

I've had horses for over 30 years, and worked with international competition horses - yet my new horse has taught me a few lessons recently. The day I stop learning from the horses and people I deal with is the day it's time to hang up my boots.
 
Sounds like attention seeking to me. If he gets attention, he will repeat the behaviour -- so ignore. Also a good one to remember for training purposes, behaviour that produces no results gets abandoned which you seem to know already and apply to your horse. Just think of the nuisance as a rather difficult horse, treat him the same way, and you'll get on fine.:D
 
pookie said:
He sounds like an absolute delight. I'd be inclined to explain (with a smile on your face and the sweetest tone) to him that your horse isn't, in fact, his horse in disguise, and that only issues that affect him are his business. Everything else - from the healthcare of your horse to what colour tubtrugs you use - are your concern and yours alone. Should he have concerns about the welfare of your horse, he's welcome to discuss these with the YO.

Change your mindset :) People like this special chap are a mine of hilarity. and if you keep a diary or journal you might even be able to publish some of the more outrageous gems. You could even make some cash out of him (changing his name, of course...wouldn't want his dear mother realising what everyone else has long known) :D

He sounds like an Olympic-level imbecile :D
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Couldn't put it better!
 
siennamum said:
Am I right in reading that someone 'battered' your horse when they brought it in.....

I'd be ignoring the numpty, and getting to the bottom of whoever has been belting my young horse.
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I have to admit that comment struck me too, I'd ignore the idiot who you've said knows nothing anyway and be more concerned that someone has apparently been 'battering' your horse :mad:
 
siennamum said:
Am I right in reading that someone 'battered' your horse when they brought it in.....

I'd be ignoring the numpty, and getting to the bottom of whoever has been belting my young horse.
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I would be seriously having a tantrum if I heard that anyone had battered my horse bringing it in...I also think you need to grow some ( no offence meant) and tell this guy where he can go, how dare he poke his nose into your business, your horse, your way. He is doing this because he can, if he tried these tricks with me he would do so once and once only....what a cheek!:mad:
 
There are times when you do tell a horse off, and times when you don't. Worried about a new experience like bath time, and you went the right way, and he had a good experience. Bridle putting on? Well how is beating the living dalights out of him going to help? However, there are times mine do get a smack, like if they try walking straight over the top of me.
I used to be told quite reguarlaly when on a livery yard that my horses were all nuts, yet I could lead all 6 in and out of field together, so go figure.
It sounds like you already have sought vets advice on the sarcoid, so what exactly is the mans problem? Sounds brain dead to me, like so many of the wittering idiots you come across on livery yards.
 
Why listen to this person's opinion. If he said you were an orange penguin, would that mean you actually were an orange penguin? :-)

If you want some feedback on how you're doing, go and ask the opinion of someone you trust. It will probably boost your confidence and stop that note of self-doubt that's crept in.
 
Everyone else has said to ignore them,
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And they are right.

Simply ignore the little man. And if he insists on commenting again simply tell him that when you give a damn about his opinion, you'll ask for it.

However, I would be following up with the person who supposedly battered your horse, in no uncertain terms.
 
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