So many problems and I don't know where to start - please help

I have had my 7 y/o gelding for 4 months now, he is my 1st horse that I have had total responsibility for and I love him to pieces. However I think he has started to take advantage of me, I am too soft on him sometimes because I know he has had a difficult time in the past and can be timid, he is a really lovely horse who has never been agressive at all.
But recently, and especially since he's been living out he is doing everything he can to avoid being ridden. I try to ride 5 times a week and he enjoys his work once he's out, we hack most of the time and I don't over-work him.
This started with him being impossible to catch, even though I don't always ride him when I do catch him, and when I do I groom him and make a fuss of him, its not a case of catching, tacking up, riding and chucking him back in the field again. So I use a fieldsafe headcollar and leave it on, and he's been fine with that. Now he's realised that its easy for me to catch him and he's becoming difficult to catch but I can always do it with a treat, even though I really don't like to be handing out treats all the time, I want him to like me because of me and not the food I might have. So when I've caught him he's started to refuse to come out of the field, he backs up when we get to the gate and I can't tighten the rope because then he gets worse, I just have to be patient with him, yesterday it took 1/2 hour. If another horse is also leaving the field he goes out fine, he's better when the dominant gelding isn't in the field either. Then he's bad with his bridle even though I'm gentle and don't bang his teeth, again its all patience.
Does anyone else have this problem? He's got worse since the spring grass has started to come through and its really upsetting me and I feel so inadequate, its like he'll do anything not to spend time with me.
I thought we were developing a bond, he calls out to me from the field sometimes and is always chatting away to me on the yard, he always watches what I'm doing as well, I think he knows who I am and knows I would never hurt him, but his behaviour is making me feel like he hates me
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Sorry this is so long, its good to get the opinions of ppl who don't know my horse, parents aren't horsey and they just think I'm clueless - doesn't help.
 
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westernriderH

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Well seeing as you've had him 4 months, I'd say that he was just starting to test your relationship, and see how far he can go. Just set boundaries and stick to them, pretty soon he'll realise what lines he can/can't cross.
Don't worry, you can deal with him, just persevere and don't doubt yourself!
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So sorry to read your post, you sound like a responsible loving owner. I have seen this a few times and you wont like what I am going to say.

From reading your post it is clear that you are treating him like a baby and he has lost all respect for you. Horses respect leadership. The first signs are the horse becomes difficult to catch, next is he doesnt want to leave the field, next is he will 'see you off'. He will call to you in recognition as being part of the herd and that nice lady with the bucket and the treats .

There is so much you can do to gain his respect and all is not lost. Your body language is important along with your tone of voice.

PM me if you want to talk about it, I would be happy to help.
 
agree with westernriderh, hes testing you to see what he can/cant get away with, hes seeing you as hes the leader not you, get behind him, make him do, and soon he will give in to you. good luck.
 
horses usually start trying it on after a few months of having a new home. once they are settled in they like to see how a
much they can get away with. i know how difficult it is when horses do this but keep perservering!
 
Sounds like he's taking the pee. Be firm with him and let him know you're the boss. Saying that my ponio can be a total devil to catch
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If you have a school try to do some 'catching' exercises in there - put the lunge line on him and send him away then reel him in and give him a treat then after a few goes with the lunge line on unclip it and try without. Most horses are more than happy to leave the school coz there's nothing to eat
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Bring him in, give him something tasty in a bucket, fuss him, and turn him back out. Keep this up for a few days then he will be desparate to come in. Don't ride him for the first few times you do this. Also, go in to the field, catch him, fuss him, then release him again. When all is going well, always reward him for coming in, 3 or 4 nuts in a bucket is all thats needed (they are very easily won over by food!) The bucket is important because then the food is in the yard/stable... not coming from your hand. Thus you avoid difficulties caused by feding from he hand.

Horses don't 'like' people in the way that we like another person or animal. They need to look to you as a leader who they trust and crave the company of.. because you are brave and incharge of them; and tehy love it!

Take time in the school and teach him how to lead nicely.

Watch your body language, be square on when needs be and drop your eye contact when he has done what you want.
 
I agree that he is testing you to see what he can get away with.

Ellie did something similar after about a month of me sharing her. She is ALWAYS good to catch but began to stop when I was leading her from the field. 6 times was the most and that was before we got to the gate
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I kept going back and making her move.
Now she rarely refuses to leave the field and walks beside me with a nice slack rope
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I've had this with Oscar - he was in a field for a year and has only been back in work since I brought him (2 months ago).

Oscar has a leather headcollar on in the field but only when he's been a pain to catch! I find he's ok if I stick to a regime. He's out 247 but has to come in for tea in the evening regardless of whether he's ridden or not.

He hates being fussed and hates being in the stable so it's all about making his time in the stable fun. Problem is he's ultra intelligent so it's hard work.

something else you must do is, even if it's before work, go into the field, give him some carrots, pat him for letting you hold the headcollar and leave him. Oscar looked at me like I was mad first few times I did it but stops them associating being caught with coming in.....
 
Try not to take it personally! A horses brain works (!?) completely differently to ours. He will respect you for firm, fair and consistent treatment. The rules always have to be the same. It is infuriating, and as fast as you get rid of one little trick or habit they come up with another one! It's part of the challenge. I have spent the last 5 months being unable to get onto my new young horse, I can no longer get on from the floor and he would not stand by the mounting block, but kept walking calmly backwards, or sideways! I was at my wits end, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and he now stands more often than not! Keep a diary, you will be surprised at the difficulties you will overcome, and eventually you will have a horse that you have a true partnership with.
 
maybe Im old fashioned but my response when the horse baulked in the gateway would be to get after it with the knotted end of the lead rope. A quick whack on the arse and send him forwards.

The horse is taking the pee out of you.

Horses will never love us for being thier owners but will respect your leadership which is much the same in their eyes.
 
Firstly, let me say: IT IS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

I knew my pony a year before I bought her. When she first arrived at the yard, she had to be herded into a stable because people couldn't get close enough to get a headcollar on her. For weeks she wouldn't leave the back of her stable if you stood at the stable door, and she would panic for her life if you opened the door. I helped her through that. I've had her for four years now. We've been through gaining confidence, backing, breaking, learning to school, learning to hack, learning to jump and I am the person she trusts most in the world. Yet, when she doesn't want to be caught the only thing I can do is to get a treat. She is scared of the electric fencing at our new yard and runs off when I get her out of the field, despite all of my reassurances. She doesn't like being alone on the new yard and sometimes I just can't calm her. She doesn't like the new school and will take off at any given opportunity, no matter how harsh or gentle I am with her.

I'm afraid it is a matter of patience. It is nothing to do with the bond between you and your horse. When he wants to do something and that's all that's in his mind, there's not a lot you can do about it until he calms or that thought wears out and goes. Just keep going as you are, you seem to be doing everything right for your horse. It's been a time of upheaval for him, being sold, and it can take horses a seemingly disproportionate amount of time to get used to it. Stick to being calm and patient and he will realise that when he's scared, you are the one thing that is always there to keep him safe and will listen more.

Good Luck x x
 
Thank you all for the replies, tomorrow I'm defintely going to just see him in the field and treat him for holding his headcollar, so he doesn't make that association, and I'll start just bringing him in for food and nothing else, no grooming or nothing so the only association he makes is with his dinner.
I think part of the problem has been slight inconsistencies with routine, I've been really busy with uni lately and still am so have only been going to the yard in the evening, so until Saturday he was only being brought in for a while in the evening. The last 3 days he's been brought in for riding in the morning and then turned out and brought in again for dinner. Today he was in all day because of the weather. So in a way he doesn't know what to expect, which is my fault. But then I think horses have to be able to cope with slight changes like this, I should really be able to ride whenever and he will have to come in for the farrier/vet or whatever.
I did some groundwork today and he responded well, just 10 mins with a leadrope but going to try with a lunge line tomorrow in the school. Trouble is people at my yard can be a bit old fashioned and I'll probably get laughed at as usual, whatever works though.
 
don't worry too much when I got my ex racer 9 months ago he was an absolute pleasure to deal with and about 6 weeks in it was like a switch had flicked and he was horrible!!! Would rear and buck, wouldn't come in, if he did come in more often than not he would leg it this lasted about 6 weeks again and I came up one day and he was back to his nomal self no explanations eg clear vet,teeth,back etc. Just try to make your handling as clear and consistent as possible( something that seemed to help was trying to get control of his feet so when I was bringing him in I would stop ask him to back up turn a circle etc to give him something to focus on and it put me back into control)good luck!
 
I haven't read all the replies so might be going over old ground.

My boy who I have had for many years still tests me to see who is in control! I let him get away with too much - he's my boy and I am soft with him. Every so often he decides he does not want to do something, usually come in from the field.

Now sometimes he get scared, even though we have been on the same yard for a good few years and he knows everything going on he builds things up in his mind.

I find the best way to get him to stop digging his heals in or even walking backwards is to change me voice. I don't shout that would make it worse I get a deeper voice and husky/growly and have a proper conversation with him explaining why we are going to do what we are. Then he knows I mean business and walks in like a lamb.

Sorry waffly but it might help- Good luck with your horse and I hope you start enjoying each other soon.
 
Nothing in the opening post leads me to believe that this horse is scared and in need of mollycoddling. He is NAPPING pure and simple.

Please dont start getting cotton wool out and wrapping him up in it or he is going to become an expensive field ornament very quickly.
 
I do really enjoy him he's a really lovely horse and has the sweetest nature, things are just a bit more difficult at the moment! I had 'the conversation' with him, felt like a madwoman but it helped to offload and made me think straighter by telling him what I was doing etc.
Today he was brilliant, I went to him in the field and held his headcollar and gave him a treat, all fine, then he followed me all the way to the gate (quite a long way and away from the herd), if he put his head down to sto and eat I just told him to walk on and he did it, I wasn't leading him and didn't give him any treats until we got to the gate, usually he stops about 6 feet from the gate and goes backwards but he came right to the gate, I told him what a good boy he was, took his rug off in the field and gave him a treat and he was absolutely fine, was a bit confused when I left him in the field! So it was really chilled out and successful, I'm not so wound up and he didn't play any games, just had his rug taken off with no bother. Hopefully he'll come in later to be ridden, not holding my breath though!
 
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