'Soft hands' how do I explain this to someone?

wanderersmelody

wanderersmelody

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I need some help in explaining to a rider how to achieve Softer hands. When I ride I do have good hands but a friend rides my horse and she tenses up and he resists her contact which causes a few problems. Does anyone have any top tips when she's riding that will help her relax? Things like rotating shoulders to relax etc. she tends to 'fix' her hands. I find it hard to explain something to someone. She does have lessons but its an area that defo needs a bit of work.

Thanks
 
One explanation I find good is to imagine holding a bird (not too hard, not too soft) and another one my instructor uses is to imagine that you are holding a bucket full of water and try not to spill it.

Also it can often be the wrists and elbows that really stiffen. Does she have an independent seat? Perhaps riding without reins would be beneficial (either on the lunge or if safe knotting the reins).

Nothing ground breaking but hopefully a few ideas for the pot.
 
Brilliant thanks. Yes, I think it stems from the seat too. I'm going to lunge her stirrup and rein free. My mum used to lunge me all the time as a kid this way and it does give you a fantastic balance.

I like the bird theory with the hands though. Sometimes you just have to put it into leymans terms to make sense!
 
It is rare for someone to tense their hands. I would be looking at the bit of the body that does actually tense (elbows, shoulders, ribs etc) and work on adjusting that. I encourage wide hands which can often help. The elbows almost jammed into the sides so you have a wide v shape created down the arms this will help stabilise the arms and should help create a more consistent feel down the reins. It also keeps the back and the shoulders straighter and though it fixes the elbows they are in a better angle. To soften the hands I would be looking at the wrists and also creating a softness through the fingers. The fingers should feel light and spongy rather than fixed. I would also be working them on the lunge without stirrups to develop a stronger seat.
 
Fab replies. It's what I do when I ride but when you do it yourself 'naturally' you kind of forget how to explain it. Love the widening of the hands. Defo going to do the lunging

Million thanks guys.
 
Remind her it's a two way conversation for mental image, but physically try holding the other end of the rein so she can feel the conversation with your hands?
 
Ha ha, I have done that in the past.sat on my friends back while she had a rein through her mouth!!! It worked a treat..... However, I'm not so sure it would be appreciated this time round......things we do.....

I think this defo stems from the seat but I also know that tension will sit in the shoulders. One of my older instructors used to get me to open my shoulder blade up if I tensed. She was so good but I don't think she gives lessons anymore otherwise I would definitely go to her again for my friend.
 
As I got older, the only thing that got through to me was:imagine you are carrying a glass of champagne in each hand.

If you're holding champagne flutes you cannot have tense or strong hands as the stem is too narrow and delicate, and you have to keep them level to not spill a drop.

It also makes you keep a nice bend in your elbows as you'd never carry champagne with stiff straight arms ;)

The non alcoholic version of this is dainty china tea cups, holding the delicate stem handle.
 
perhaps try 'pan hands' or Mexican I think it's called where you hold the reins differently. this forces soft hands and you get the right feel before going back to usual way of holding reins.
 
Its normally stiff elbows and shoulders that cause hand / locked hands. I used to have horrendous hands.

Wee exercise I was taught and I now teach to develop independent hands / arms from the body as follows:

Get your friend to stand facing a wall / horses side. Ask her to adopt her 'rein' position and place hands against wall/horse.

Ask her to rise up and down but she musn't move her hands - they have to stay put. Tell her to watch her elbow and observe how it opens and closes as she rises and sits. This is how it should look as she is rising.

Then give her a set of reins to hold and practice giving with the horses natural head nod in walk and canter.

Put rider aboard and tell her to either place hands on withers or hold neckstrap whilst trotting round / on lunge and practice keeping hands still and letting the arms work independently from the body. when she has it, ask her to pick up her reins. any time she starts 'holding' again tell her to drop onto the neck and get the 'feel' back.
 
One way I was taught in pony club was that my instructor got a snaffle bit and attached reins to it. She told me to put it into the crook of my elbow and bend my arm then hold it out a little and rock gently from side to side. She held onto the reins and told me to watch her hands. She started off 'giving' with her hands as I moved with her hands 'open'. Then she locked her hands and arms and closed her hands. It really showed me the difference. She also used it to show me the difference between my reaction to a sudden yank (I tensed up and yanked back instinctively) and a smooth gentle pull (I instinctively 'gave').

It was a simplistic view and obviously my elbow is different to a horses mouth but it gave me a physical feel to go with the explanation and really helped. She then also had us pair up and 'Try' different bits with a short head piece attached and our hand bent towards our shoulders with the head piece over it as well as the bit in place. It showed us the action really clearly as well as demonstrating poll action.

Made us all a LOT more respectful of both bits and our horses' mouths.
 
Two pieces of advice helped me at different times. One was to think of the connection between the bit and the elbow as elastic. The other, which is most important, is to always think of the reins as being taken forward by the horse - except for momentary aids, the hands should never be used to pull back toward the rider.

I also found it easier to ride more softly through the arm once I was taught to hold the rein firmly in my fist, rather than riding with quite open fingers. The contact became more consistent and consequently softer, even though the idea was somewhat counter intuitive initially.
 
There may be several things going on:

1. she uses her hands to balance as her seat is not developed. (this is a much longer term problem where you have to use exercises to increase balance and strength.)
2. she may be frightened and increases pressure on the reins as she doesn't want the horse to gather speed. (humm....exercises to build confidence.)
3. She may not understand pressure and release on a horse's mouth. (which quite frankly most of us don't either.)

I think you need to figure out which one.

But, here's what I do in my lessons to teach/train a correct pressure and release:

To train or retrain a downward transition [and to get your horse to slow/stop it's feet from the lightest of aids] a rider needs to apply the following aids: (over time your horse will respond to the light aid - as he makes an association between the light aid and what follows.)

Firstly, sit and 'brace' the core muscles to provide a cue to the horse (your horse over time learns to associate change in seat pressure with what follows - rein pressure - so over time will stop from the 'seat aid' alone.)


1. Light aid: a light pull back/passive resistence on the reins
2. Harder aid: increase the pressure enough to motivate the horse to slow/stop
3. Release pressure.

All of this should be done within 3 beats of the rhythm - that is 1,2,3 - or Right fore, Left fore, Right fore. So, it's pretty quick.

This gets the rider to understand that it is the release that motivates/rewards the horse to stop and is so crucial.

It is also crucial that a light aid precedes a harder aid as the horse then learns to make an association between the light aid and a harder aid, and will therefore, want to avoid the harder aid..

Try it in the arena.

PS. the 3 beat rule also applies to leg pressure and is wonderful for getting a lazy horse to respond to the lightest of leg aids - but the second harder pressure has to be motivating enough for the horse to cause a change in behaviour - ie, go forward immediately!!

It is also true of the 'yield' response (move the quarters) and also the turn response (gaining control over the shoulders to gain straightness and control over the horse's body.)
 
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