some warm HHO hugs needed

B

babymare

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Well over the last few days I have noticed more subtle changes in my mare pointing towards her sight as detoriated again. And tonight my mare was manic and stressed like she was when I bought her - the poor broken battered soul she was. Since the tears i shed when first told her sight was going i have been strong but tonight I sobbed - sobbed like a baby. Tonight I realised that we are another step nearer to saying goodbye. The vet will be called - she is on 3 month checks now - but everytime I have noticed the slightess change the vet as always confirmed it had worsened. But the last check 2months ago the vet said - whilst now no blood flow to the bottom of the lenses she was " a picture of health, calmness and tranquilty that my vet never thought she would see 5 years ago given her past and her eyes now and was no danger to self me or others and as a lovely quiet calm life"
Is there a god? I dont know but if there is he was looking down on my sweet mare and me and knew we needed each other - her then so desperate, broken, battered and frightened and me later equally battered and broken emotionally. he just knew we needed each other.
I know I will need to make that decision and I will be strong but tonight made me realise that every day with her is not only a bonus but a honour - ok the tears are here again
 
Thank you from my heart - i needed you guys tonight - in 42 years of horses she is that horse that one who will stay in my heart. We never graced the show field - lucky for others as she is a stunning Sec D - but she as given so so much - her trust most of all but also she as been an inspiriation and her leagacy is the relationship im now in with the kindest loving man - she showed me it was ok to trust. she showed me so much about me the person I am - lol it has been a topsy turvy journy together but always - ironically - her beautiful dark kind eyes were there for me. Im sorry im a bit emotional tonight. I have so many memories - the first time we joined up, sat on her back (was dangerous and unrideable), the first tiny jump we popped, the first hack and the first gallop tears streaming down my face but laughing so so so loud. at 13 she as so much more to give -life is so so so cruel and do you know I wasnt even thinking about buying a horse i just saw her by chance - fate is amazing
 
So sorry to read your story, what a wonderful home she has with you though, for you to think of her needs rather than your own.
Sadly we all have to make that dreaded decision at some point.

I send you lots of hugs.... thoughts to you both xx
 
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