Sorry.. I have to vent this out somewhere

[TiaPony]

my 'friend' bought herself a horse last summer. he's mental to say the least and probably a lot more then she should take on at the age of 12/13..

she bought him of his old (adult) owners who couldnt handle him. he doesnt load, clip or even lead - he's handled on the ground in a chiffney. don't get me wrong, i'm sure in the right hands someone could break these habits. she has these vivid visions of taking him 3 day novice eventing (i'm not denying he can't jump, cause he can) but she won't even accept my offer of having lessons (shes 'training' him) with my instructor. she's expecting her parents to buy her a box and it all to go dandy. its taken her months to even trim his mane and even now she has to hide the scissors from him until the last moment. i wish she'd see how naieve shes being - someone is going to end up in tears. sorry, i had to let that out to people who might understand where im coming from..
thanks for reading
x

 

[Parkranger]

Oh dear sounds like a bit of a nightmare - all you can do is offer your help - if she won't take it then there's nothing you can do.

Sorry, not much help but you'll have to let her get on with it x

 

[rrose]

to be honest, it seems that the horse is not right for her. i would not bother offering your help. let her get on with it and see how it goes, she will one day realise the horse is not for her x

 

[carthorse]

I know its difficult as she's a friend but you can only help those that want your help and only teach those that want to learn.I'm sure you have offered to help but you will just have to be there to pick up the pieces

 

[Forget_Me_Not]

Sometimes you have to try and understand people...Support them rather then judge. Remember she knows her ablitys better then you. I know because people said I could never handle Dermot, Was way out my dept and he would kill me and he hasn't put a foot wrong, remembering the pros couldn't sit on him before.

 

[TiaPony]

i know her ability, i spent 2 years working and riding along side her. i understand her and her determination but i jus wish she'd see that my concern is there and its genuine..
x

 

[oliviacharley]

this is a hard one..I once had a simular situation....I had a friend who's mum insisted they bought her a horse which she could not handle in the hope that she would enjoy riding more and eventually event...it went wrong the horse in the end walked all over both the parents and the daughter making them scared of her.
In the end it took a friend at the yard to take on the horse and ride it for them...she was good and actually got my friend involved in re-training her...I dont know how you feel about the horse and whether you have more confidence/ability...maybe it might be worth helping her and assisting her. If she likes the horse which she sounds like she does it might be worth helping her to get past the problems...is there someone at the yard who could help her...someone with more experience who could help her without it being obvious..?
I just took on a horse which I have had to re-train due to the last owner causing so many problems...it is hard but everyone did keep saying to me, he is too good for you etc and it does make you more determined..sometimes it is better to join them then to go against them...if the horse is not right and you are supporting her she will not be so determined to carry on...I know it hard cause you care, but if it were me I would help her as much as I could and stand back if she feels she can do it all herself....