Stanley's Guide to Equitation Volume 1

dreamcometrue

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Much is written to aid riders in the Art of Equitation but does anyone ever offer such advice to the horse itself? No! Therefore, through our deep level of communication, Stan has proffered these pointers to pass on to his fellow equines.

Accepting the bit.

All part of bridling up and, of course, this will inevitably lead to some expenditure of energy on your part. Therefore, only accept the bit if it is offered with something nice to eat.

Taking the contact.

This should be done every so often to show who is really in control. Basically it involves a sudden and very strong downwards thrust of the head so as to wrench the reins from your rider and run them rapidly through her hands, possibly causing friction burns as a side effect. The full term for this is "taking the contact from the rider and owning it yourself"

Shoulder in.

To be done in the stable whenever something unpleasant is about to happen e.g. wormer, injections. To do a shoulder in you use your weight through your shoulder to crush your owner into the stable wall or even a corner. Verb "to shoulder in" a human who is being annoying.

Half pass.

Quite a specialised manoeuvre which occurs when a 4x4 plus trailer is to be passed. You half pass the whole contraption by letting the car pass then popping your eyes at the trailer and doing a quick about-turn to run back the way you were coming. Hence you have "half-passed" the whole vehicle.

Tracking up.

Quite straightforwards. This means going up a track that you fancy instead of going where the rider wants to go.

Piaffe.

She was a French singer who never regretted anything (Non, je ne regrette riens) a motto that should always be adhered to in my opinion.

Stanley xx
 

billy2

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Excellent! I always say that while I have read the BHS manual, my horse has yet to do so....
 

Venevidivici

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I love this,especially 'shoulder in' and 'tracking up'. Thanks for making me laugh:) What about 'flying change-the act of changing your mind(crucially,must be done within a split-second,in order to be 'flying') about what you may, or may not, do willingly for your rider,at any given time when requested.'
 

JenHunt

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very good!

How about vet inspection... this is where your vet wants to make sure your human can walk and run without being lame, and to see how fit they are. Best thing is to either go really slowly so they have to drag you, or to go really fast so they can't keep up. Especially if your human is female, and wearing an unsuitable bra and it's an attractive male vet. :D

and Show-Jumping - the art of showing off over brightly coloured fences in front of a crowd. It's a corrupted version of the term "showing off while jumping"
 

Maddie2412

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sully wanted to add leg yielding: if you kick your human hard (preferably with a hind leg) they normally yield pretty fast in that direction...
 

MerrySherryRider

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Love it ! Though could you tell Stanley to keep it to himself. Think he's already given a few tips to the 4 yr olds;

The art of Self Carriage. Where horse encourages the rider to carry themselves by refusing to let the rider mount.

Airs Above The Ground. Horse encourages rider to feel the air as he/she flies over horses head before hitting the ground.
 

dalesslave

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Mouthing - horse encourages rider to emit extremely offensive violent language silently in front of posh company and small children by either jumping the first fence brilliantly (see Show jumping) then jumping the piece of rope round ring to join pony club pony class or standing on riders foot and executing perfect turn on the forehand without lifting front feet off floor. The desired effect showing a very relaxed lower jaw should appear goldfish like preferably accompanied by an amount of dribble.
 

Maddie2412

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foot sore: how the humans feel after u stroke their foot with your hoof only to be carried out by clysdales and other horses with a sizeable hoof and weight for and extreme sore...
 

MerrySherryRider

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Easy Keeper. - Needs no care, feed or exercise. Looks after itself. Demonstrates this by buggering off to the opposite end of the field as soon as it sees a headcollar.
 

Merrymoles

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"On the bit" - short for "on the bit of the road/track/manege/field that you want to be, rather than where your rider wants you"...
 
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