Starting again

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Fizz06

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22 February 2006
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Ive finally come to the conclusion that my 10 yr relationship is going nowhere. I'm fed up of being made to feel like the little woman whose place is in the kitchen let alone the guilt trips I get when I spend too much time at the LY with the horses and my friends. We're engaged but that's a bit of a joke, the ring has been on my finger for years but we've never got anywhere near planning anything. It's taken me a lot of upheaval to get to this point and I'm scared. I havent been single since I met him as I was starting uni. Starting again seems so strange. But half of me isn't worried about that as my horse makes me happy (in joint names though, not sure if he"ll let me buy him out :( ) although the other half of me imagines me alone for the rest of my life. My flatmate (also under 30) has been trying to find someone for ages with no success. Also got to work out what I'm going to do with all my stuff. Going to tell him on Thursday as I'll be able to go to our house and get my stuff on Friday...sorry, I don't often post on here and know this is a ramble but just needed somewhere to vent and ask whether anyone has started again after wasting so much of their life with someone who turns out to be so very wrong for you?
 
No, I think I'm doomed to be single forever. I don't mind though, I'm going to have lots of cats and when I die they will eat my body. I'm happy because I have my horse :)
 
I did, been with him 8 years, just bought a new house together, then suddenly single! was prety much single for 4 years, then just accepted I would be the crazy old lady with all the cats/ horses for the rest of my like and weeks later in a very unexpected place an into my now husband - who is perfect (in my eyes) but I honestly think the single time did me the world of good as I realised that I can live and cope on my own so I am only with my OH because I want to - not because I think I should be in a relationship
Good luck
 
Massive hugs. Yes done it. And the weight is lifted to become you again.

Its scary, yes, and you may be lonely and feel like a loose end. But! Make yourself go and see friends, spend time with your horse and remember you have done it for a reason!

If its not right its not right. It is hard but you will be okay! Better to do it now than spend another 10 years with the wrong person IMO.

Massive hugs and be brave!! Xx
 
under 30? you are just a baby! think of it this way, you have, what.. another 40 or 50 years left... do you really want to compromise by being in such an unhappy relationship? and why do you think you would stay single? don't worry about finding another BF, think about all the things you can do and how much happier you are going to be. No sarky comments, no holding you back. Be utterly selfish and enjoy yourself. If you exit one and then hunt straight away for another chances are it won't work. Have time out, and then you will might well find someone else. And so what if you don't? would you really view your life as a failure if you don't have an OH? it is a cliche, but you really do only walk down this path once.. so enjoy yourself, congratulate yourself on having the courage to look at and change your life... and go have a great time!
 
Thank you! That's given me the confidence kick I needed. No kids, just a horse! You are right-I will put my own happiness first.
 
There are times in everyone's life when they should, indeed must, put themselves first. Go, be brave and start over. You deserve it. Been taken for granted for FAR too long. Enjoy :D
 
You will be fine. I split with my husband a few years back. I was left with a young daughter who he refused to pay or help with when he left.
But i am so much happier now. Its just the 2 of us we have a great fun. Im still single at the minute but TBH the grief most of my coupled off friends seem to have and from when i was married i have a much better time.
I have to work hard to support us and her pony habit!:D. But i am proud of what i acheive and also proud of how my daughter is turning out as i am bringing her up and its my doing.:)
You will be fine and happier for it in the long run.:)
 
Congratulations and welcome to the rest of your life. You have made a brave decision and will manage wonderfully without 'him'. If he gets tricky regarding your horse can you sell him to a 'friend' and then buy him back. From what I hear selling is tricky and even good horses are gong pretty cheap ATM!!!
 
Fizz06 said:
Thank you! That's given me the confidence kick I needed. No kids, just a horse! You are right-I will put my own happiness first.
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Sounds like you've come to your own decision and you will get through it. There will be some hard times, but if you stand on your own feet and get your life where you want it, thats when you meet someone who will stand alongside you and meet you half way...
 
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