starting again :(

[pepsimaxrock]

Well some of you know that my lovely mare is - thankfully - recovering after 7 months off due to colic surgery.
She is a super little mare, very responsive, a little sensitive, but safe as houses and loves her work.
I on the other hand am 6 years into horse ownership, pretty novicey and have owned this dear mare for 21 months. During our first 11 months we had to get to grips with everything and eventually got to a point where I felt we could really start competing - we were jumping 70 confidently and I had stopped her running off with me after every jump, she was doing reasonably well at low level xc, hacking out by herself and turning out some nice prelim tests at dressage.
Now - I cannot get the canter aids - she is running instead of cantering, I am flustered and having to reorganise every time to get canter again. I took her for a first solo hack today and she was terrified and I thought she was going to run away with me so I had to get off and walk her home. I can do intro dressage - walk and trot - but cant compete cos we won a couple in her previous life.
I'd love to be back where we were - and horsey is being schooled for jumping by yard staff - who say she is strong when the jumps go up from tiny x poles to around 70.
Im sorry if this sounds like a whinge or me feeling sorry for myself. Im 60 years old. Im so glad to have her safe and well after her surgery, but I cannot bear to have to start all the work again, getting used to her strong ways and putting all the building blocks in place. Its scary and I dont want to get hurt, although I havent fallen off her an awful lot. Im just so fed up to have lost all that effort.

 

[TickyTavey]

Not sure how long since you brought her back into work, but she's had a deal of time off and it's spring and it might take a little while to get back to where you were, but you will. Presuming she's had the all clear from the vet to start work again and saddle, back etc checked as she'll have lost muscle and may have changed shape. Sounds like a good plan to have help restarting her. Perhaps go back to basics again if she's rushing with the yard staff jumping. Slowly, slowly wins the race! She'll not have forgotten everything, have faith, but expect to take it slowly I'd say

 

[pepsimaxrock]

Thanks! Yes everything - back, teeth saddle clearance from vet all
In place.
I do have lessons but haven't had one for 3 weeks due to instructor (YO) and my timing clashes.
She remembers more than I do! I just don't want to let her down as she's been through so much xxx

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

If you want to attend shows you can enter HC , at a level to suit where you are now. Rehabbing from injury or illness is hard work but all you can do is keep at it and remember if she did it in the past, she can do it again.