Struggling with juggling my horse with my kid and everything els

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Mlb78

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Hi everyone

I am new here, I have a lovely 15.2 chestnut gelding. I have owned him for 11 years. I have done everything teams dressage and jumping with him and he was my first baby. I now have a 2 year old son.

I have a sharer to help me with both time and finances which is great but I still struggle to do everything both horse wise and life in general and I have had some health issues too. My problem is I really don't want to sell him. He is 17 and I feel guilty thinking of selling him at this age. He still has a lot to give and really acts and feels like he is 10 he is still jumping and enjoying life. What would you do?? If anyone has found themselves in a similar situation I would love to know what you did

Thanks for reading

X x x x
 
I know how you feel, I find it tough to juggle the horses and my 2.5 year old daughter.

Is there any chance the sharer can take on more days? Or perhaps find a second sharer, he sounds like a very nice type of horse. Alternatively can you look into other livery options, e.g. living out?

Do you have any childcare help? Things will get easier as your son starts nursery. I find MiniBoo wants to go to nursery every morning now which is a huge help.
 
You need to get organised do you have a full time job as well? I did had a family, horse, full time job (career) and dogs as well. The horse was my me time, what I work hard for, my pleasure (not a guilty one as I worked hard for it)
 
I know the idea of selling him seems bad, but it might be the best. I bought my girly when she was nearly 17 after she had had the same home for 14 years. Her owner loved her to bits but she was wasted so she took the brave decision to sell her. Admittedly there wasn't a queue of people waiting to buy her but when I saw her I knew she was for me and her owner said she couldn't have wished for a better home. 3years on we've done shows, fun rides, got into dressage quite seriously and she loves being kept busy. I am grateful that her old owner saw her potential going to waste and sold her to me cos we've had a blast so far and she'll have a home for life regardless of what happens.
 
Can you loan him out for a couple of years? Sounds like he would be the sort people would be lining up to loan, and you could then have him back when your little one starts school.
 
It is hard.
I had my young mare, we were just getting going, then I took on an ex racehorse to reschool for my husband to hack around on. All was going well. Then I fell pregnant. The horses became expensive pets, many times we considered loaning the mare out, and sending the TB back to his owners, but when it came down to it, we just couldn't.
Six and half years, and two children later and I am finally getting going with my horses. My eldest is at school, my youngest at preschool every morning, so that is my horse time. Weekends leave me feeling guilty - either I am doing family stuff, and just fitting the horses in somewhere around that, or I'm out competing and feel guilty not to be spending time with my family!
You do what you have to, if that means grass livery for a year, or loaning out, or even selling, it is your decision.
Good luck x
 
Some of the horses at my yard have three sharers because their owners have very young kids and jobs. It seems to work well for them all.
 
I have an 18 month old and to be honest the only way I managed was to put my horse on part livery, where they do everything except ride. When I had worked it all out, it was actually only costing me about £20 more a week then when he was on DIY. He can be a handful on the ground sometimes so having my little boy around him wasn't really an option for me.

My little boy goes to nursery now, two mornings a week so I use that as my time to ride and try and fit in with the grandparents babysitting too. I also have another girl who will ride him out occasionally.

I agree with others that it does take a lot of organisation but I wouldn't sell him if you can help it. Horse riding is your time away from being a mum and I think it's very important to have something of your own when you have a child.

I know it's a year away but Don't forget that when your little boy is 3 you can take advantage of the 15 hours free early education so that will help to give you some more free time in the future :)
 
I really feel for you :( but please don't feel you have to sell unless you want to! It is hard when the little ones are that age.This was probably the hardest point for me in my juggle of child,horse ( & i had assisted livery),work, but time passes so quickly and before you know it your child will be at nursery.
Try and muddle through & don't let anyone put you down in terms of your parenting and horse care/riding. Us Mums seem to want to cope & do it all ( I am v guilty of this!) ask for help from friends/family if you can just to give yourself a break. On a positive note when my daughter started her free nursery/pre school I had the most fantastic afternoons out hacking :) blimey she is at high school now and I feel really old!! :) wishing you all the best x
 
Hi - I was exactly in the same position as you. I managed with part livery and a sharer while I had my little girl but then had twins when she was 2 and I really couldn't do it any more, I work pretty much full time too. I was spending a fortune when money was tight anyway to ride once every 1-2 weeks and felt guilty not being with my family every time I did. It stopped being relaxing me time as I felt I was spreading myself too thin. I found a fantastic loaner for him by word of mouth nearby who allowed me to ride any time I wanted and gave my boy the time and attention I couldn't. My boy was 16, very quirky, needed firm understanding handling and was far less of a catch then yours sounds ! But I would have sold him if he had been even remotely sellable as it was quite simply too much. Don't be made to feel guilty if you can't do it all. Your children grow up so fast don't waste this time with them feeling guilty. I would look at loaning but sell if the right home comes up. Good luck.
 
If he is the type, have him living out, turn him away for the winter or perhaps part loan (with the costs included for part livery perhaps?) He is very saleable still IMHO and you probably wouldn't struggle to find a nice home for him. But from what you have said he seems like your perfect horse, so whats the harm in roughing him off and leaving him for a time?

I loaned my horse with a view to buy, because I couldn't cope with her and my daughter. She was not the kind to languish well in a field nor was I happy for her to. The mare is no longer with us now, but I don't regret the decisions I made personally. My next horse will be an animal more in line with my current life, not my old one. So for me, if you have a very amiable, quiet horse, who is old enough and sensible enough to enjoy a little holiday - give him AND YOURSELF one :D Good luck, children totally poleaxe your life and it's a juggle to keep all the balls up - I know xx
 
Thanks everyone for your replies it's good to hear it's doable without having to sell him. He means alot to me. My sharer works shifts do I work round her. We are also at a private yard so totally diy. I think a few changes in the new year should help. I am definitely one that tries to cope, as someone on hear said us mums try to do that. I have told my sharer I am struggling but she can't do anymore. I think a yard move to somewhere with assisted or part would be good.

Things happen for a reason so I am sure the right thing will happen. I am more positive today which helps. Thanks again

MLB x x x
 
I'd sell him or loan him and concentrate on using your finances for your daily living and child, if they're tight, it would give you breathing space and relieve the pressure you feel because you also have pressure from your health issues. Any chance you could put him on loan with your sharer? If not, you should be able to sell him as a veteran as he is still jumping and sound. Difficult time of year though, as you will be aware, for either options.
 
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