Stuck Between a Rock And A Hard Place...

rach1984horse

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I've been at current yard for nearly 9 years now. YO is a very strong minded person and there is no way in EVER telling her she is wrong.

I got my first pony 2 years ago, then my yearling in Spring this year. Last winter my mare dropped some weight, but then hay went out into the field, the ground wasn't too bad, they had a field shelter and everything was okay. When the weather got really bad she came indoors and was stabled.

This year I said that providing they had shelter, I would leave my ponies out all year, as Rosie has a rug and Fiadh shouldn't need anything.

Due to the bad weather their field is completely water logged. There has also been no hay in the field. I have been asking for hay for the past 2 months and she has kept saying that she doesn't want to feed hers. It's up to her to make the decisions on her own horses, so I have been taking mine in to give them hay and feeding them outside the field.

YO has asked me to clear my stables out as she wants them for her horses, so I did this 2 weeks ago. She has now decided that she wants her 2 horses put into the barn and my 2 moved into another field.

This field is on the side of a hill, and mostly just a wood.. I've asked if I can now BUY hay ON TOP OF paying/working for my livery as per our arrangement, and she has said no. She doesn't want hay messing up her fields.

There is now no spaces to bring my horses in to feed them as she is using 2 stables + the barn for the same 2 horses.

I don't quite know what to say to her as my ponies are needing the hay. The vet was up last week and even he said it was about time the hay went out for them. The way she is talking there will be no hay going out at all this year for my 2.

If I move she'll never ever let me back and I've near enough grown up on that yard. I do feel that however after over 8 years of me doing lots of work for her, and her helping me get my confidence back that we are even. I've been trying to find somewhere to move them to, and don't quite know how to tell her she either needs to let me feed my horses and look after them my own way, or I'll need to take my ponies else where. As part of my livery I help look after hers, and do more than my fair share of work (if I don't muck out during the week, it's not likely that she will). But I also work full time and don't spend as much time with my ponies as I should.

I'm just going to stop this post right here, because it's getting very long and not quite sure where I am going. I have a lot of respect for YO but need to do what's best for my ponies...

Well done if you got this far... Think I just needed to vent...
 

Llwyncwn

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Oh dear - what a predicament. Imo from what you say, it sounds as if she doesnt want you there anymore. I would find somewhere else and politely thank her for the last 8 years and all she has done for you. Good luck.
 

rach1984horse

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The thing is if I try to leave I will get a big guilt trip... Because she calls me near enough every night at the last minute asking me to bring her horses in and feed them. If I didn't then there's no one else that could for her.
 

the watcher

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It is possible that after such a long time that she has started to take you for granted, or maybe with more horses in she actually needs most of her grazing and you being there is causing her a problem but she doesn't know how to tell you this. I think you need to talk to her and point out that it is becoming very difficult for you and enquire whether she still wants your horses there, if you are going to stay then obviously some things will have to change.

In the meantime a little research into alternatives may not be a bad thing
 

RLF

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Just tell her your ponies need hay and buy it elsewhere if you have to, sorry to sound a bit harsh, but nobody would come between me and the care of my horses.
 

regalrendezvous

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It does sound as if she is taking your good nature for granted!
If that were me i would move as that's not fair on you to be called at the drop of a hat to do her horses and not be allowed to look after your ponies as you would wish to.

I feed horses for several people ( i am paid to do so) i have regulars that i feed every weekday moring and every weekday afternon. I also feed some occasionally but this is also a set pre agraned time.

If someone rings me up in the afternon and asks me to do their horses in the evening i refuse as it is not right for someone to do that. If they had a problem they could have asked me the day before and i would be happy to do it. Being asked on the day is disrespectful.

Your situation is different but it does seem rather like abuse, given that your poor horses are out in the cold with no hay as her two horses need two stables each.

Good luck with everything i hope it works out!

Regal
 

rach1984horse

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If it were that simple I would. YO is well known in the local area, and everyone knows that I keep my horses with her. Would look very funny if I was to start buying hay from other places and trying to get it transported up there.

Her reason for not letting me feed them now that they are in a seperate paddock from her horses is that they are highlands and will get fat. I think she thinks she is doing me a good turn stopping them getting fat. But Rosie drops weight very easily, she doesn't seem to understand this and can't see past her being a "fat Highland."
 

debonhorse

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If you havnt got the confidence to stand up to her, why not get half a dozen large haynets, and hang them in the field so that the hay isnt blowing around and 'messing' them up.
I dont feel you should get a guilt trip for not bringing her horses in at the last minute, it sounds like she is using you big time, but not prepared to give a little back. I really do think you would be much happier in a different yard, why not ring around a few local farmers, and ask if they will rent out a field to you, that way, you will be on your own to make your own decisions on how your own horses are looked after.
good luck with this, let us know how it goes.
 

the watcher

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Highlands aren't supposed to be whippets! See my sig!
Mine drops weight over winter too, she has been out for the last two winters and dropped weight in spite of daily feeds and ad lib hay in the field. This year she is in every night with lots of hay and daily feeds (mostly fibre), and just about holding her weight.
Obviously they need watching in spring as they bulk up very quickly, but at this time they definitely need their nosh, especially if working
 

Kermie

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11 July 2006
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I think she is taking you for granted and just bunging you into an unsuitable field without due consideration. I'm not sure from what you say if you pay anything for livery or just work to pay it off - maybe she really wants you to pay but doesn't want to ask so is making life awkward (people have funny ways of dealing with things).

I think I would ask around for somewhere to move to and, once you have found somewhere, tell YO that either your ponies get hay as requested or you will have no alternative but to move.
 

rach1984horse

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I pay for my yearling adn work for Rosie's. I think that feeding/bringing in ponies and mucking out 3 nights a week 9which is what was agreed) is enough for this. Doing them 6 days a week as I do at the moment should more than cover it.

Am currently waiting for farmer who'se farm I live on, and a friend to both get back to me about livery options.
 

eahotson

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Is there any way you could talk to her? Explain how you feel? If not feel you will have to explore alternatives. Even natives need SOME food over the winter. I do sympathize as in a curious way (although not about food, Callum is fed very well) I am in a similar situation. Keep us up to date.
 

rach1984horse

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At the moment I'm just so annoyed/frustrated with the whole thing. I feel bad because I know my horses are going to get hungry. I don't want to burn any bridges with Yo because I have so much respect for her. I'm hoping that I can get a field on the farm here. That way it would be a reason to move, that isn't about her, if that makes sense. Ie moving the horses to be beside me, rather than moving because I'm unhappy with her.
 

Toby_Zaphod

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She's taking you for granted & she'd dictating howyou look after your horses which is unacceptable. Sort out somewhere else to take them to & when it's sorted out give your notice to her. From reading your post it seems that she needs you more than you need her.....she doesn't seem to be able to look after her horses on her own & is putting on you. ASdditionally she's almost bullying you...it's time you moved on.
 

Tia

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I think you definitely need to find a place for your horses elsewhere......however I think you need to give her an ultimatum after you know you can move out. You obviously want to stay there, so you just say to her that either your ponies are allowed hay when they need it OR you will have to look for somewhere else. Be prepared to move at short notice though as she may become irritated. Good luck.
 

henryhorn

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No horse should be out without hay in the sort of weather we have been having, they need to eat more or less continually to with stand the wet and cold.
She sounds a bit potty to be honest, how does she feed her own horses, surely they come through the winter looking poor?
our horses live out 24/7 with a barn or two for shelter and to feed in. if you watch them, some eat 12 hours a day..(ad lib haylage)
I think you must find smewhere else to keep your two or you will struggle tokeep weight on them, I know highlands are good doers, we have one next door, but they really do need hay through the winter.
I doubt she will see sense so be prepared with somewhere to g when you tell her...
 

Kelly1982

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2 January 2005
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Kent
My old YO was like this, very controlling!!! It sounds more like you loan your horses than owning them as your YO is dictating to you what you can and cant do with them.

I think you need to move, i know you have been there a long time but as you grow older sometimes you find that you have grown apart from things (if that makes sense).

I was at a yard for about 6 or 7 years and grew up there but as i got older i just realised that the yard wasn't suitable for me or my horse anymore so i moved. These things happen.

Dont feel bad about leaving her horses either, it sounds like she takes you for granted and knows you will do them if she dont show. If you leave she will HAVE to do them herself so i dont think they will be mistreated in anyway.
 
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You are 100% being taken for granted, and a mug!!!!!!!!

The welfare of your horses must come first. I can't quite understand why she is being so difficult, she presumably is a woman who knows how to look after a horse properly.

You have got to speak to her today. You have a yearling in particular that needs supportive feeding in order to grow properly, and a horse who, by your own admission, dropped weight last year.

There's no need to fall out over it. Explain your reasons for wanting to feed hay to your two, and if she is unable to accomodate your wishes and their needs - explain that you will be looking for somewhere else to keep your horses.

To be honest she sounds like a manipulative b**ch - I'm sorry if that's strong, but I just cannot understand why people insist on making life so difficult for those wanting to do the best for their animals.
 
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