Stuck in a rut. Where to go from here?

[Gypley]

I have a 6y/o warmblood whom ive had from a 2y/o. I backed him myself at 3 1/2y/o and then sent him away for a few weeks schooling. Since then we've taken things really slow. He's a big lad and I'm in no rush as, god willing, he will be my forever horse. I try to have regular lessons but at times these can be sporadic (in an ideal world I'd be having 1/2 lessons a week) at the moment we can't even canter as he's still very unbalanced. I'm sick to death of intro dressage tests and really wish we could step it up a bit.
I'm at a lovely yard which I love and suits us perfectly in terms of management, but you can only have lessons with the on site instructor, who is nice, but I just don't feel like she's the right one for us at the moment. I schooled this morning and we spent the whole 45mins disagreeing.
I feel like the troubles were having at the moment aren't going to get any better without help. He's slightly weak on near hind so struggles with right canter and I'm weaker through my left so struggle to help him. I feel like I'm constantly trying to ride a crooked horse straight and I'm completely stuck in a rut. I'm thinking about sending him away for a couple of weeks schooling, but there's a stubborn streak in me that wants to fix it myself.
I feel so frustrated at the moment I came home this afternoon and cried. I'm really not sure where I'm going with this post, its become very "woe is me!" Please tell me we all go through stages like this and we will come out the other side!!

 

[CMcC]

I am sorry to hear you are feeling so down about the situation. I know how you feel, I have a pony who I really wasn't getting on with and schooling was a nightmare. I remember coming in one day and sitting down and crying and thinking I would have to sell him.
I can't give you any advice on how to "fix the problems", but what I did was just try different things to get him motivated. I did some groundwork, we are doing TREC (we have out first competition next weekend), pole work, hacking. Also got him some treatment for physical problem I felt he had around poll, changed his feed and I now have a different pony. He is so much happier, he canters down to the gate with his ears forward to see me when before he always approached me with ears back and loves his work.
Take the pressure of your self and horse and try something different for a few weeks. Good luck.

 

[Gypley]

Thank you. It's hard not to beat yourself up sometimes, I just get so frustrated.

 

[Micropony]

Don't despair! I have a horse of similar age who I've had since a month after he was backed, and however saintly the horse is, we 'normal' (non-pro) riders are going to get stuck occasionally. I have found the right trainer is really important to help me work through those times, and if your yard trainer isn't the right person to help you with that you need to find a way of getting access to one who is. Can you box up for lessons elsewhere? Or book yourselves onto a few clinics or adult camps? These things are all good for his education and make things fun outside you usual routine. Can you make time to try some new places to hack, maybe do a fun ride or two? Sometimes I find just taking the pressure off and focusing on having fun together is beneficial, not just to both of our general happiness but I can be a bit of a 'try-hard' and sometimes when I chill it a bit things we have been struggling with start to fall into place.

Like you (and many others I think) I am also quite a lot weaker on my left side. I know I really should do some off horse stuff to help me with that, but at the moment I just can't make the time to fit in a pilates class type thing, which is what I think I need to be doing really. In the meantime I am assuaging my guilt slightly by investing in regular physio sessions for my horse, but I know I need to tackle the root cause really.

 

[Britestar]

I feel your pain.

I have a big horse (too big for me) that I have struggled with on every level ( home bred so stuck with him). I have hated him at times, I have cried with frustration, threatened to get rid of him, even have him pts.

I have struggled with instructors, as many just don't 'get' him at all, leaving me more despondent.

Do you have transport? Take him other places to get lessons, join a riding club and go the group lessons with a variety of instructors. You'll find someone you'll click with and suddenly you'll be making progress.

This is what I have done, and have found a couple of people who really seem to understand the problems I have, and I've made loads of progress in just the last 5 months.

 

[Gypley]

Thanks guys. I don't have transport, but looking to upgrade the car and buy a trailer as ssoon as funds allow. I think that will really help us.

 

[muddy_grey]

I also have 6yo and she has gone a bit barmy recently and I feel like we have gone backwards. Youngsters are rewarding and frustrating! Do you have safe hacking? I know people are nervous of hacking but there is no way I could of cantered my girl in a 20x40 school in the past. Cantering straight lines and hills will really help balance him.

 

[Gypley]

We're very lucky to have lovely hacking and try to get him out twice a week. Sometimes is a struggle as he's a handful on his own, but great in company. We have lovely spots for long uphill canters. I'll try and add in some more where possible. If nothing else it gets us out of the arena!

 

[Vodkagirly]

Can you get some one to video you? You can learn a lot watching yourself. make a list of what you need to improve then look for exercises to address those issues.

 

[Apercrumbie]

If he's a big horse, he will take longer to be able to balance properly and our teeny tiny arenas just do not help with big babies! I would canter him on hacks as much as possible to build up his strength and his (and your) confidence in his ability to stay on his feet. Are there any local arenas you could hack to for lessons?

 

[Vodkagirly]

Also think about how to address your weakness, pilates can be good and improving general levels of fitness.
If you can find a flat field, that may be easier for canter work than a small school.

 

[Clodagh]

Could you go away on holiday with him, to a boot camp type set up? So rather than sending him away to be schooled you could go too?
Also agree with scrap canter in the school, I have never cantered anything around corners until it can transition and canter comfortably ina straight line.

 

[iknowmyvalue]

Don't despair! I have a horse who is a similar age (though he's closer to 7yo now) with exactly the same problem. He literally couldn't hold the right canter without disuniting when I got him last Autumn and the left canter wasn't great either, he's getting there though. They struggle so much more when they're big, especially in small arenas. I think the more you can get him cantering in straight lines out hacking the better, it will help him build up and he'll be more motivated to go forwards. As others have suggested maybe a boot camp type thing could be good for both of you, just a change of scene and a different perspective can help!

In terms of schooling, you can do a lot of work that will help the canter without actually cantering in the school, lots of transitions, encouraging him to sit back and use himself properly, polework, anything that will help him build up the back end. When you're cantering, just ask for a good transition, do 2-3 strides and come back, rinse and repeat, building up the number of strides gradually once he's balanced for the number you want. If you can work him on the lunge in right canter that might help, so he first learns to balance without a rider on top. If you do that, try to keep the circle as big as possible, you look like a bit of a crazy person running round to keep them on a bigger circle but it helps I'm sure others have more suggestions, but that's what I've been doing and we can now do a prelim test without embarrassing ourselves, although still a long way to go before the canter is how I'd want it... I'm sure yours will get there! Maybe you both just need some new ideas, a change of scenery and to take the pressure off for a little while

 

[Gypley]

Thank you all for your advice and suggestions. Lots of ideas for us to try. Although another question, why is it that I see other horses his age (mostly for sale ads on Facebook that pop up on my news feed) who are popping around sj and xc tracks and schooling like it's all easy peasy??! I know they're all different and the fact he's quite a lump means we need to take things slower, but seriously! It's quite disheartening when you're struggling but there's other 5/6 y/os who seems to find it easy !

 

[Micropony]

I can only reply for myself, but in my case it's because of my limitations as a rider. There is another horse on my yard who was started at the same time as mine and she's now out at medium. We are prelim and proud! Her rider is miles better than me, simple as that. Having said that, mine is pretty much bombproof in all traffic and has much more varied and less pressured work, which I think suits his personality better! I paid for him to be trained to jump early in his education, and with a better rider he'd have been out at BN 18 months ago and progressing from there. So what? My riding isn't so bad as to be a welfare issue and we are having fun. You can always compare yourselves favourably and unfavourably to others, the point is to enjoy your own journey with your own horse. If I wanted easy and quick, I wouldn't have bought a youngster! Having said that, my last horse was big and unbalanced with huge paces and more than a little bit quirky, so after the glacial pace of our progress together I'm not finding things with this little chap challenging my impatience too much!

 

[CMcC]

Thank you all for your advice and suggestions. Lots of ideas for us to try. Although another question, why is it that I see other horses his age (mostly for sale ads on Facebook that pop up on my news feed) who are popping around sj and xc tracks and schooling like it's all easy peasy??! I know they're all different and the fact he's quite a lump means we need to take things slower, but seriously! It's quite disheartening when you're struggling but there's other 5/6 y/os who seems to find it easy !

Short answer: don't believe anything you see on Facebook!
Slightly longer answer: what you are seeing is a 60 second long video that the seller has chosen for you to see, they are not showing you how many months/years it got to that stage or all the times it went wrong, or their training methods.
How do you know, for example, that horse has not be backed too early and is storing up all sorts of injury problems for the future. They may all be exceptionally talented horses who never put a foot wrong, but I doubt it.
Just concentrate on getting your horse to be a happy, healthy horse who is developing skills in his own time and don't compare him or yourself to anyone else.

 

[Clodagh]

Thank you all for your advice and suggestions. Lots of ideas for us to try. Although another question, why is it that I see other horses his age (mostly for sale ads on Facebook that pop up on my news feed) who are popping around sj and xc tracks and schooling like it's all easy peasy??! I know they're all different and the fact he's quite a lump means we need to take things slower, but seriously! It's quite disheartening when you're struggling but there's other 5/6 y/os who seems to find it easy !

I am training a young labrador at the moment and the videos on FB of puppies doing amazing retireves and acting like 10 year olds are all over the place, it can be very disheartening. Just remember - yours is having the building blocks put in place properly and it really will pay off long term.

 

[iknowmyvalue]

Thank you all for your advice and suggestions. Lots of ideas for us to try. Although another question, why is it that I see other horses his age (mostly for sale ads on Facebook that pop up on my news feed) who are popping around sj and xc tracks and schooling like it's all easy peasy??! I know they're all different and the fact he's quite a lump means we need to take things slower, but seriously! It's quite disheartening when you're struggling but there's other 5/6 y/os who seems to find it easy !

You don't know the history of these horses in a lot of cases, maybe they were started young and have done a lot, maybe they aren't quite as easy and balanced as people will have you believe, maybe they can do that now but they'll develop problems a few years down the line because the building blocks aren't in place properly... Also it's just that every horse is an individual, some horses are natural born athletes and are naturally fairly balanced from the word go, others take longer to develop it. It doesn't mean one is better than the other, often the "slow maturers" will eventually catch up, once they've worked it all out!

 

[FinkleyAlex]

If it makes you feel better I also have a 6yo (pushing 7) who has also had an easy, slow life due to my career. He was professionally broken and I sometimes think he looked better at the end of that than he does now! In fairness to him he does work in all three paces (although does have issues striking off on the right leg on the right rein which we are also working through) and hacks out alone and in company (which is something I have dreamed of having a horse for, for years!) but the poor sod doesn't know how to do much more than a cross pole (on the lunge), hasn't properly jumped under saddle, has never seen a course and has never been to a show. I constantly feel under pressure to tick these things off 'our' bucket list, especially when I see my friends taking their 6yos showjumping across the country or cross country schooling, so I sympathise with you there. Sometimes we just have to let them work at their own pace - mine is quite stressy and unfortunately as I cannot ride regularly due to work commitments it's just impossible to get to exactly where we want to be with them, but it will come.

 

[honetpot]

We used to have a maxi cob, lovely cob but very one sided. My daughter who was sixteen did most of the schooling. The thing is I think a lot of instructors either ride well and, or are used to a lighter framed horse, that takes a lot of work and will often ground these sort of horses into a pattern when really with a less well developed horse you have to make it easy to open the door. If you tried six times and he is still getting it wrong you are practicing getting it wrong, and reinforcing it. Stop and try something else.
I would ditch the instructor, do something you both enjoy, pop a log on a hack and make him land of the correct lead and work from there.
Sometimes when hacking you get the feel, you click and then you both know what you are after.

 

[Gypley]

Just a quick update guys.
Had a lesson last night with an instructor who is allowed to visit the yard once a week for jump lessons. Oh my goodness, what a bloomin fantastic lesson! He told me it's not all as bad as I think and that really made me feel excited about my horse again. I told him that short term my goal was to get through a prelim test and long term I'd like to get round a BE80, WELL! I wish I'd kept the BE80 comment under my hat as now he wants to get one booked for the end of the year so we have a goal!
I have to be honest and say I'm not sure we'll be ready this year (I get married this year too so tonnes going on !) but I think I'll make a firm decision after a few more lessons to gage how quickly we progress.
It's become clear how important it is to really find the right instructor for you. His approach was so refreshing and everything he said made total sense to me.
Love my pony again !!

 

[PorkChop]

Great update, what a difference a change in instructor can make, something to plan for

 

[Sophire]

Great update! I missed this initially but I am also one that gets far too invested and will have a cry. I was having lessons a while ago where I felt I was paying someone to tell me to argue with my horse for 45mins and it just wasn't right for us, I have regularly considered packing it all in this year! The week after she gave me a nice canter - trot transition and I cried because I was happy and everything was OK again!!

Stick at it and keep us updated!

 

[FfionWinnie]

Why not find somewhere you could take him for a week or 2 and have intensive lessons with a good coach instead of someone else riding him?

Personally I'd move yards as that seems a ridiculous situation to be in!

 

[Micropony]

Oh I'm so pleased you seem to have found an instructor that's a better fit for you both! Having the right one makes such a difference. Onwards and upwards!

 

[Vodkagirly]

Love the update. Good luck moving forwards.

 

[Gypley]

Why not find somewhere you could take him for a week or 2 and have intensive lessons with a good coach instead of someone else riding him?

Personally I'd move yards as that seems a ridiculous situation to be in!

It's quite common in this area to be restricted to the one instructor who owns/runs the yard. There are two others allowed to teach there, but these are on days specified by the yard owner. If I can try and make this work then I feel that would be best for us as yards in the area with this standard of facilities and Maintence are few and far between.
I agree though with finding somewhere for us to go together for a couple of weeks, I'm thinking I may even suggest it to the guy I had a lesson with yesterday and see if we can come for a training holiday at his yard.