Stuck on what to do - old pony & financial issues

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Hi all

I've had my childhood pony for almost ten years, she is nearly 29 years old and has thrived in her golden years until last winter. Nothing major, just getting stiffer (a good but expensive joint supplement is helping), slower and her two back teeth are beginning to rot. We had a colic scare earlier this year which was, luckily, spasmodic but terrifying nevertheless.

She can still be hopped on bareback for a wander around which she enjoys, nothing strenuous...all in all, although she's showing her age she is still 'well' in herself.

Unfortunately, my circumstances have changed, financially and work wise ... I will never sell my childhood pony or pass her on as she's too old and doesn't like other people much. It's worth mentioning that I had already begun to drift from horses, due on losing my old horse to cancer and his 'replacement', a naughty Conne, being nothing short of a pain (we did not click).

I've already given up the Conne and gave him to a friend to save money, and put my old girl on full livery as I do not have the time to look after her anymore.

I work far away and only get to see her every other weekend, and the full livery is bleeding me dry. I moved yards with her and my Conne in October which was meant to be a forever / last yard. However, after a few months, my work required me to change location which also meant travelling further away, which is hard as I still don't drive (failed my test several times and it is so expensive trying to learn). I get on with it as I love my job. so moved yards again a few weeks ago which I felt was unfair to her as she can get really stressy, but I was trying to do my best. But I underestimated the costs.

As mentioned, my dream horse was put to sleep last March and to be honest a year on I am not enjoying horses at all, I'm grateful for my old girl but I feel like I've pulled away from horses, the bitterness of the horsey world I've been subjected to and the heartbreak that comes with owning animals...I can't be part of it anymore; I can't.

it is getting to a point where I can't afford this lifestyle, and I'm no longer in the mind frame where I'm desperately trying to balance my outgoings to make having horses possible...it just depresses me. I love her to pieces, but I don't know what to do? My life has turned upside down in the space of a year, I'm trying to better myself in my career and life, but I can't help but feel like I can't do right for doing wrong.

Would it be cruel to move her to a cheaper yard?

She wouldn't fare well being turned away 24/7 and to be honest I don't want to do this for her, as she needs to be cared for each day and likes her routine/seeing a friendly face.

I don't know if I could forgive myself for having her PTS? Would this be cruel and unfair to her?

Thank you for reading, I don't have anywhere else to post about this.

I feel dreadful... I don't know what to do.

x
 
Cheaper yard doesn't always mean worse and turning out 24/7 doesn't mean being ignored and uncared for, many older horses are better off out 24/7 especially in the warmer weather as long as they have some shelter, my 28 year old has been out 24/7 this winter and looks the best he has for the past few years when he was in at night, it has been a fairly dry year so far which helped.
I don't think it cruel to have her pts, she will know nothing about it and it does secure her future and allows you to move on without the financial restraints but I would look at your options to allow you both one last, not too expensive, summer to come to terms with it, retirement livery would be my suggestion if you can find one fairly near that is reasonably priced.
 
First of all, you're being very hard on yourself although it's understandable feeling that way. As be positive said, if you are considering having her put to sleep she will know absolutely nothing about it. She will be here one second and gone the next. When circumstances change sometimes we must make hard decisions, and if you feel like you're slowly becoming bankrupt then something needs to change.

Why not first try her on DIY/grass livery that's close to where you live and see how she gets on (and see if it works for you)? Given the weather is getting better now it's a good time to try, and even on 24/7 turnout they can still have a routine. Maybe there are some good sites on Facebook that you can look at.
 
If you are thinking about pts anyway, I’d try hard to find her full grass/retirement livery. If it doesn’t suit her you haven’t really lost anything and that’s another option discounted. Most horses do adapt really well to living out, provided they have adequate rugs and shelter. I think it’s probably your perception of what is good for her that makes you think she won’t like it, not what actually is.
 
I had one who would not have retired happily to full turnout, so I understand where you are coming from. To pts would be hard on you, but your pony will not know anything about it. I would let her go while she is well in herself and settled. I wouldn't want to move her again if she is happy where she is, personally.
There is nothing to reproach yourself with. You have already given her a safety net and a comfortable old age.
 
there are some good retirement livery yards and my friend has put hers on one as her husband is terminally ill and she is his carer and couldnt guarantee that she could also care for her horse properly....her horse seems to be very happy and is fed and rugged if necessary during the winter. why not try and find somewhere similar and see if she takes to it, if not PTS ,she will not know and you will have tried everything so you hopefully will feel less guilty. good luck, its a difficult one to solve
 
My two old horses are on retirement livery. They live out 24/7. I did wonder whether one of them would cope ok being out all the time but she is loving it & doing so much better than when she came in at night.
Where are you? I could send you the details if you are near to me.
 
Firstly can I say how much I admire you OP for having to courage to have this debate and to be thinking of your mare, rather than doing what all too many people do and pass her off somewhere as a "companion". I know something of what you will be going through as you agonise about this; I had my two oldies PTS last autumn, they were both veteran, both had mobility issues and therefore failing to thrive, and as they were pairbonded it was simply the kindest thing for them both to do the job together on the same day.

As others have said, you may find some good turnout for your mare for the summer nearer to home, and cheaper for you. She will probably be fine. If you can, my advice would be to look for somewhere local, where you can see her as much as you possibly can for the summer, and spend the time where you can pamper her, remember the old times, and love her to bits; then come the autumn when the nights are pulling in and there's frost on the grass in the field in the mornings .......... do what you have to do. Have the vet (or hunt - your choice) out and say goodbye. Its been said before, but better a day too early than a week too late. I'd go for September/October time at the latest. You don't want to be leaving it till the weather gets awful and the field etc gets mucky, and you have to start bringing in and feeding hay.

Bless you, this is not easy I know. But you must not feel guilty, you have been, and are, a good caring owner who is trying to do their very best for an old friend. Economic reasons are as valid a reason as any other to draw the line and make the PTS decision.

Sending hugs.
 
If you want to try other options first, agreed find maybe a cheaper retirement yard.

It will be far harder on you, but I also don't think you need to feel guilty about thinking about PTS an old horse who has had a good life because of not being able to afford them anymore. Far better than passing them on and they don't know different. And i know i might be shot down for this but neither do i believe you should spend your last penny, to the sacrifice of everything else to keep a horse going. I have seen it before, people putting their old horses on livery, hardly ever seeing them but at the same time putting their life on hold for a number of years because they cannot afford to do anything but pay for the horse.
 
You've done very well for her for many years and she's now showing signs of struggle. Someone on a similar post replied with the phrase "what's so good about summer, too hot, hard ground and flys" Which I really hadn't thought about before then and is worth considering too. I think you would be making a very valid decision to let her go now if you feel that's right, it might be less hard on you too as you have already distanced yourself a little bit. That s just my thoughts though. She's your horse and you have cared for her so well, you will absolutely make the right decision So please do sit down collect your own thoughts and do what you feel is right.
 
I would fully support the PTS option. They are 29 and showing their age.

However, they are still happy and I would be scared that in a few months if things calmed down in your life that you may regret not just having your retiree to visit. But full livery is crazy money for That

But also are you sure she would not do better out? I have a retired ex racer who lives out with shelter and his girlfriend. He also used to be out with a big herd which he loved. Despite living in for his racing career. He is much less stiff living out. Most grass or retirement places have good shelters (mine loves a shady nap in the summer). But of course that involves the stress of another move.

All the best whatever you decide
 
Agree with the issue of ‘give them a summer’ too! My oldie really struggled in the heat wave. If he has a bad winter (hopefully I still have many years) I would like to give him a spring to enjoy and PTS before the bad flies and heat wave
 
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A retirement livery needn't mean being out 24/7. I know someone who runs one where the oldies have a big barn together for winter nights - lots of movement helps stop them being stiff. I don't know if there might be somewhere like that near where you are, and it might be cheaper than full livery.

But given everything you've said, if you did PTS I would not beat yourself up about it. Your horse would know no different. She would not be passed around, and it would take a big stress away from you. You have done far more than most in keeping her to the age you have. She's a lucky horse.
 
I know a superb retirement yard should you want a recommendation-just pm me if so, even if not close to you, if she can travel I would 100% recommend. Otherwise I completely agree with oldnag.
 
You know I am going to be blunt. Every thing dies, it how things live that is the most important. I have pictures of our old ponies, from being unbacked right the way through to old age, and although its hard to let go being logical as long as you not wait until they are suffering it doesn't matter to them. So I would let go now while you have a nice memory, its not being unfaithful or cruel or hard hearted, just realising nothing lasts for ever, and you can not stop time. What ever other people think, you will know.
 
Alibear said:
You've done very well for her for many years and she's now showing signs of struggle. Someone on a similar post replied with the phrase "what's so good about summer, too hot, hard ground and flys" Which I really hadn't thought about before then and is worth considering too. I think you would be making a very valid decision to let her go now if you feel that's right, it might be less hard on you too as you have already distanced yourself a little bit. That s just my thoughts though. She's your horse and you have cared for her so well, you will absolutely make the right decision So please do sit down collect your own thoughts and do what you feel is right.
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I agree with Alibear.

Being 100% honest I would pts.

You've already said she didnt come out of this winter as well as previous ones, it's more upheaval to move her again and you wont be around to see if she settles (not having a dig, working is a necessary evil). Shes had a colic episode already and if you're working away and dont drive I'm assuming it isn't easy to get back to her. Now dont get me wrong ANY horse can have an emergency or a spasmodic colic, I'm not saying these are reasons to pts just that she is getting older and you're not close by should a decision need to be made when not expected and I dont know the reason for the colic but the stress of another move might (only might) make a reoccurance more likely.

She's 29 and you've given her a good life. You shouldn't feel guilty for not putting your life/career on hold and possibly getting yourself into a bad financial situation.

There are far worse fates than having a horse pts peacefully at home.

It might have been something I've previously posted that Alibear refers too with summer not necessarily being a kindness to a horse. I remember it was always the thing to give a horse the summer to eat its head off on good grazing but that's not always a kindness. Hot weather, bad flies, hard ground and all the stress with summer grass for laminitis and Cushing's etc

I am not saying that you should PTS but that is what I would do in your shoes. Ultimately you have to feel comfortable with your decision but certainly no one with any horse sense or experience would criticise you for putting the welfare of your older pony first by doing her the final kindness.

If it helps any I have been in a kind of similar situation. My last ex racer had an ongoing issue for most of the 6yrs that he was with me. It was never a welfare issues that he should be pts as, despite not being rideable, he was happy in himself and not in chronic pain.

When he was 16 he didnt come out of winter as well as he normally did and although he looked well he didnt look as good as his usual come spring time either. Ironically the issue from the past 6yrs seemed to have cured itself but I think he was possibly experiencing the start of arthritis in a knee although very slight.

At this point in time my mum's healthy connie x collapsed under saddle and was found to have a grade 4 heart murmur. After discussing options with the vet, including letting him live out as a field companion, it was decided that it was in his best interests to let him go.

That lead me to decide to pts my boy at the same time. He was still "well" relatively speaking but things were only going to go one way from this point onwards as age and a hard life in racing caught up with him.

He looked so well that I was the topic of some not so nice conversations but I'm an genuinely glad I chose to pts then. He was as healthy as he could be, had been absolutely ruined and wanted for nothing since I got him and the decision was not taken out of my hands.

Yes it was a horrible and heart breaking day holding both boys but I am comforted knowing that neither suffered with their ailments, it is a quick and painless procedure for them and everything was done peacefully.

I've (hopefully) attached a couple of pictures of them from the day before they went just so you can see that an animal doesn't have to be at death's door before making that call

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Just to reiterate I'm not saying that is what you should decide
 
I’d look for cheaper retirement livery options. You may have to move her further away from you but if it’s a yard with an excellent reputation then that shouldn’t be an issue. How expensive is the yard you’re on now?
 
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