such a hard decision

[cassie summers]

i bought my mare last year in april i backed her brought her on ect we have a great bond but i now have a problem with my hips and the doc saying i need a hip replacement my mare is a big girl and when i ride her now it is so painfull plus i cant get my leg in the correct position at the moment the problem is she is perfect for me but she is not getting the work she needs and though i love her to bits i think maybe i should sell her to someone who can take her on further she has great potential as a maxi cob or a hw hunter type its such a hard decision as i had bought her as my horse to grow old with but health wise my circumstances have changed and she is to good to keep as a field ornament so i dont know whether i should sell her in the spring or just weather the pain

 

[Arizahn]

Sorry to hear this.

 

[B_2_B]

Are your hips likely to get better enough if you do have a replacement or will it be a permanent problem?
If not, I'd say loan her out or share her.

If you want to and can afford to keep her but not ride, you could advertise just for a rider even?

 

[BlizzardBudd]

Could you get someone I share her with you? And then you still have got a horse but dont have to ride..?

 

[wattamus]

could you not loan her? After your hip replacement you might be able to ride again so maybe just loan her out and then maybe a few months/ years down the line you could have her back. She'd still be yours and she can still be your forever horse and this way you won't feel like you're wasting her x

 

[cassie summers]

no i am 51 now they wont get better had an accident when i was younger and broke my hip i would love to get a sharer but she is not everyones cup of tea she is a shire x and though very pretty and forward going alot of people seem to want to share these flashy wb types also no way would i put her out on loan i have known to many things go wrong i would rather sell her as if someone pays good money hopefully they are more likely to look after her

 

[millimoo]

Sorry about your health problems.
Could you look at getting a saddle with a narrow twist? Not sure how much difference it would make, but it may help.
Also maybe you could part loan her to keep her ticking over ... After all, she doesn't strive to reach her full potential, you do
I think you should have you hip replacement, and make a decision once you've recovered.
If riding proves difficult could you break her to drive instead?
Key thing is to get well, don't do anything in haste, and get some help in the meantime... Good
Luck with you operation when it comes around x

 

[quirky]

I'm with b2b on this.
If you were to sell and then you found you could ride after a replacement, you'd be gutted to have lost her.
Also, remember her potential is in your mind, not hers. I doubt she'll be disappointed not to have fulfilled her potential as a maxi cob or whatever else.

If you feel she is the perfect horse for you, I'd do all I could to keep hold of her until my doctor/hips said otherwise.

I hope it all works out for you.

 

[millimoo]

OP... Having money to pay for a horse does not equate to looking after a horse well... IMHO
All the best whatever you decide, though from your last post I think you sound like you've already decided

 

[Misog2000]

I second the saddle with a twist in the waist idea, I used to find it impossible to ride my sisters maxi cob comfortably but his new saddle makes a huge difference, maybe speak to a good saddler to see if there might be options available? I hope all works out for you x

 

[cassie summers]

no very true having money doesnt mean you will look after a horse and no i havnt made up my mind as everytime i look at her it breaks my heart and i want to cry i can afford to keep her thats not the problem i think tomorrow i will talk to one of the instructors and ask her how much to ride her and keep her ticking over after all the pain in my hips is much worse this winter so by the summer i may feel better also need to lose some weight which would really help the pain i can just carry on hacking her out i dont need much leg when hacking out as she is very off on her toes also yes i would love to drive her and will look in to sending her away to break to drive it was really only a thought thanks everyone

 

[cassie summers]

I second the saddle with a twist in the waist idea, I used to find it impossible to ride my sisters maxi cob comfortably but his new saddle makes a huge difference, maybe speak to a good saddler to see if there might be options available? I hope all works out for you x

she is built like a table my saddler has suggested a thorowgood t8 gpd which is a general purpous dressage i have a wintec at the moment and even though its fits its bloody horrible to ride in

 

[Fantasy_World]

I am sorry to hear about your op and I hope all goes well for you x
I can only echo what others have said about getting a sharer so that your mare can be ridden. I once had sharers for mine and to be honest there was interest in my big lad who is also a heavy horse cross. So there are people out there
Have you considered riding western or would riding longer in the stirrups put more strain on your hip?
I can speak with a slight bit of understanding as I have problems in my right hip which does affect me when riding sometimes. I had a fall about ten years ago which I didn't get checked out and not sure if it is related? It comes and goes and I will have no pain for ages and then all of sudden I can be walking and I get a searing pain in the location of my ball joint and it will feel as though it has come out of the socket. It is the only way I can describe it really. It also burns, so there is a stabbing and burning sensation as well.
I don't get that when riding but can get stiffness in that leg, but more so in my left so wonder if my body is trying to compensate. I really should get it checked out but it is getting a doctor to believe me because the pain is so infrequent like a couple of times a year. They would probably take one look at me and think overweight it is your weight. But I don't believe it is, because in recent years I have lost weight and for someone my size I am very, very active who can walk 4 miles in less than an hour. I also cycle and ride too.
The horses I ride are wide like your's too. Both mine have table top backs lol.
I was just wondering if a western saddle may be more comfortable for you, or even getting a leather one that is padded rather than synthetic because from what I have seen and felt of those saddles they seem rather hard to sit on.
All mine bar my TB's are leather and the two I ride in are comfy and padded on the seat area. I also use a seat saver as well. So perhaps that may help also to give you some comfort underneath and help as a shock absorber for your hips when riding too x

 

[cassie summers]

that is the exact pain i get on my left hip it feels like its going to pop out any minute so i am not a strong rider on the left i would love to get a sharer for her pref someone who is happy to hack her out ect she is a good weight carrier i think i will advertise at the end of the month though still will speak to one of the instructors as i dont mind paying for a good rider to ride her

 

[Fantasy_World]

I know your pain then I am just lucky that I don't get it very often and I have no idea why it comes and goes? I could be in a shop and I will suddenly swear and almost collapse on my right side as the pain is so intense. It is so hard to convey pain to people because it is something that can't be measured/seen except for an increase in pulse and perhaps body temperature. It can happen all year round even summer. For instance I have been walking and cycling a lot recently and nothing, no pain. Watch this I will most likely suffer an episode tomorrow lol.
If I was in your position I would ask your instructor, they may even know someone who is suitable and is looking for another horse to ride. Good luck and with the operation too x

 

[rockysmum]

What about side saddle as well as driving. You can get wider saddles for the big horses these days.

Good luck with op

 

[Brigadoon]

I have friend who had her hip done and now rides her big wide horse with no pain.
She lost some weight and did some exercise/yoga to help with strength.
She also ensured her horse was at his fighting weight so to speak, as well, so as not to place anymore strain on her hip before she had it done.
Not sure what she did saddle wise but some good suggestions from posters.
It sounds like selling would make you unhappy so driving her as well might be fun for you both.
Getting your hip done is like the difference between night and day. Chase it up with your GP. You could be galloping about by summer

 

[dunkley]

It's just an idea, but, if you have the money to keep her, and 'run' her, have you considered sending her to a professional to produce and show? You would then get the pleasure of seeing your horse progress, hopefully be successful, but as an owner, not as a rider. I think FMM on here is heavily involved in showing some rather good horses ( ) and she may be able to offer some guidance.

 

[Alyth]

It's the old "don't burn your bridges" scenario!! Until you have recovered from the operation you don't know what you will or will not be able to do......so imo you should keep everything as low key as possible. Horses don't worry about "meeting their potential", they are quite happy being turned out for a year or more (as mine were when I had to have shoulder injury) and boy was I glad I still had them when I was able to return to ground work and then riding!!! As long as you can afford to keep her in basic conditions while you are out of action then in a year or so you will be able to make a rational decision. It's all too easy to make the wrong decision when you are under pressure. And, adding to that, don't let anyone - and I mean anyone! - influence your decision!!! All the best both for the op and recovery and returning to horsey activities!!

 

[Mirirab]

I second Alyth. Above all don't rush into any decisions. There are probably solutions which will surface over time.
With cancer and surgery and permanent (but limited) physical impairment, I put my gelding up for sale, but in the end just couldn't go through with selling him. And I'm glad I didn't. I found a horse crazy teenager who rides him regularly, and I go for quiet rides and coddle him. And that little bit of contact with my horse is necessary for my mental and physical well being.
You'll just be unhappy without your horse - and now is exactly when you need as many things that make you happy as possible. Don't discount the psychological impact.
And you can have a happy horse without his fulfilling his promise, which is what counts after all, isn't it?

I hope all goes well with your surgery and recovery.

 

[ISHmad]

I sometimes ride a Shire X chunky mare for a friend and adore her. You won't have a problem finding a sharer for a safe weight carrying horse who will hack out I don't think. More likely you will be fighting them off as she is what lots of people want.

Best of luck with your op and future plans with your delightful sounding horse.

 

[Supertrooper]

I'm sorry about your predicament but I agree with many of the others that if you can you should keep her. She won't be bothered about her potential and if you could perhaps find a sharer for her until you are back on your feet again or if possible financially ask your instructor to exercise her.

Good luck xx

 

[Supertrooper]

I also share my best friends shire x, she has had major back surgery and he definately helped to keep her going xx

 

[littlescallywag]

I would have ripped your arm off to share your horse when I was looking, love shire x's. Don't think you would have any problems finding someone, many taller heavier riders are looking for that type.
I have a problem with my right hip following a fall (didn't sort it out) and if I ride anything too wide it feels like its popped out of the socket, the muscles feel like they don't support the joint and that leg is pretty useless for aids. I couldn't even dismount!!!!
I ride with a seat saver and its better .
Don't make any rash decisions , have your op and see how it goes after, your horse doesn't care if she's not reaching full potential xxxx

 

[LaurenB]

You could get a rider for her if not a complete sharer, I'm currently riding and 18.1hh hunter bringing it back to work for a lady hopefully show. She is unable to ride him but could never part with him or loan him. Just an idea but it works for this lady. I suppose its just finding a rider you like for your horse

 

[merlin12]

Would side saddle be an option.I have a friend who had a simalar problem.She had a h/w hunter who was her pride and joy she started to ride him side saddle ,after having several lessons and getting a saddle fitted to him .This enabled her to carry on riding.I may be able to put you in touch with her if that's any help.